Farting. Is it really that serious? Share your stories!

[Guest Pauly]

Originally posted by Kristian

A bl**dy hour that took - I've been dying to tell everyone!

 

Ok, after the (v. fattenning) meal with friends from work, I went for a few beers, and then ended up eating a very greasy garlic bread and a pizza from the local takeaway.

 

All was fine until the next morning, when I woke up at about 10am with a thick head, dying for a wee.

 

So there I am, dressed only in last night's Calvins, having staggered to the bathroom, weeing peacefully. I felt the need for a 'trump' (this is a family forum! ) so did so while weeing. A trump it was not. I felt an unfamiliar 'wet heat' on my cheeks, and immediately put my hand on my bum to check what I hoped I hadn't done. The result was horrid; orange goo was running down my legs, and I was immediately sick. However, the wretching action simply produced more of the same chain-reaction 'trumping', continue ad nauseam in the literal sense.!

 

The worst thing was, it wouldn't wash off! :gag:

 

Cut to me calling my Mom in tears saying 'Mommy, I've sh*t myself in my own bathroom'. The humilliation was immense (although I was alone), and the pants went straight in the bin!

 

I feel soooo dirty just remembering!

 

These days when I want to lose weight, I stick with tried and trusted traditional methods such as cigarettes, and vomiting after meals!

 

K x

 

Hehe, lovin it. My trumps shall salute you sir

[sammysowls 10]

better out then in i always say

[halevan 11]

Originally posted by shieshuk

I fart - everybody farts but I fart in front of close friends and all my immediate family!!

 

However.....my husband does not!!

 

We had our first major argument in our courting days bcoz he found out I farted in front of an ex-boyfriend but to date had not farted in front of him.....Bizarre!! Now I do all the time (we are married) but he (and his family) still do it behind the bathroom door!!

 

I find it peculiar...I told him tonight his family are wierd not mine..but with no other family to compare against....are we (my family) really that strange!!!!

 

I have standards in the workplace etc but at home I just let it OUT!!!

 

What dya think???

 

Wherever you may be, always let your wind go free, whether in Church or in Chapel, let it go, with a tremendous rattle.

[nick2 10]

I remember going out once in London to a "fetish" club with a mate of mine, he was wearing a rubber all in one cycling shorts and vest thing (he had the body to get away with it).

We were at the bar and he farted, of course the suit was so tight it couldn't get out and it just caused a "bubble" in the back of his shorts, which he had to squeeze down the leg to release.

Oh how we laughed as it came out with a puff of talcum powder that he had used to line the inside of the suit.

[Kristian 11]

Originally posted by nick2

I remember going out once in London to a "fetish" club with a mate of mine, he was wearing a rubber all in one cycling shorts and vest thing (he had the body to get away with it).

We were at the bar and he farted, of course the suit was so tight it couldn't get out and it just caused a "bubble" in the back of his shorts, which he had to squeeze down the leg to release.

Oh how we laughed as it came out with a puff of talcum powder that he had used to line the inside of the suit.

 

Fantastic! I love a good trump story!

 

K x

[Guest Pauly]

Originally posted by nick2

I remember going out once in London to a "fetish" club with a mate of mine, he was wearing a rubber all in one cycling shorts and vest thing (he had the body to get away with it).

We were at the bar and he farted, of course the suit was so tight it couldn't get out and it just caused a "bubble" in the back of his shorts, which he had to squeeze down the leg to release.

Oh how we laughed as it came out with a puff of talcum powder that he had used to line the inside of the suit.

 

Superb. That would've killed me.

[owdlad 10]

You really should try some Asafetida, it is excellent for stopping flatulence.

 

Nick I would have loved to have seen your buddies "lump" :D

[Draggletail 60]

Originally posted by owdlad

You really should try some Asafetida, it is excellent for stopping flatulence.

 

Why on earth would anyone want to stop flatulence :hihi:

(This Isn't Draggletail speaking - It is in the spirit of my dad)

He would have loved this thread..... Parp. Thrump.

[Don_Kiddick 11]

Is there a particular food that aggravates &/or predisposes you to flatus?

 

I for example take great pleasure in eating onions for they empower me with the force of the hurricaine.

For my older sibling it's pork products to create his miasma.

A close friend & collegue only has to look at a clove of garlic & he's off like an Oompah band.

[Kristian 11]

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick

Is there a particular food that aggravates &/or predisposes you to flatus?

 

I for example take great pleasure in eating onions for they empower me with the force of the hurricaine.

For my older sibling it's pork products to create his miasma.

A close friend & collegue only has to look at a clove of garlic & he's off like an Oompah band.

 

I'm lovin' your phraseology, but personally, it's sage and onion stuffing for me!

 

K x

[tiffy 10]

Drinking a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda in warm water will eliminate any embarassing aromas in the work place etc.

[sunshineyday 10]

important to just let it out - much to my partners annoyance, different at work but at home -there she blows!!!!!!!