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Hosting a party etiquette

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I'll get over it! Was just feeling somewhat irked about it today! Thing is, I'm her oldest (ie longest standing!) friend, so was kind of expecting a dispensation, not a round robin text saying 'dear friend etc'.

 

If you've done a lot for her in the past it does sound a bit like she's taking the pish... But it depends on your history and how you feel things balance out.

 

I would probably rant at her down the phone. This could be why I don't have many friends! :hihi:

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I wonder if she'll charge for use of the deckchairs - or for a slice of birthday cake??? :hihi:

 

When we used to have barbecues, we supplied plenty of food and drink, but friends usually brought some booze with them, and sometimes their "speciality" dish, but we'd never have dreamt of asking them to bring anything. It was only once a year, and if we couldn't have afforded to do it properly, we wouldn't have done it at all.

 

I think it'd be different if it was a group of friends getting together regularly for an informal event, but for a birthday party ..... :loopy:

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Its a personal opinion thing but my opinion seems very similar to yours. The host of the event is the provider and should not actually 'expect' guests to bring anything however if they wish to, that is up to them.

 

I was raised to believe that if you are putting on an event you don't scrimp and there should be plenty of choice to eat and drink for everybody, even if there are left overs as these can be shared out between your guests to take home so nothing is wasted. Better to have food left over than not have enough. People are usually very happy to help eat up what is left. My parents thinking was if they couldn't afford to do this properly then it was best not to do it. I have adopted the same stance. If people ask me if I would like them to bring anything I just say 'no thanks, just yourselves and a good appetite'. Sometimes they still do bring something and I smile and gratefully accept it as they are really just trying to help.

 

A few years ago we were invited to a birthday party at a city centre venue. We were amongst the last few people in the queue for the buffet. When we reached the table there was nothing left at all!!! It was highly embarassing. We didn't make a scene or anything, we just quietly moved away from the buffet table but had I have been that host at that party I would have been cringing in a corner wanting the Star Trek Enterprise to 'beam me up Scotty!'.

 

However, having said all of this I do realise that everyone's idea of these things are different so if I am invited to an event I do always ask the host if they would like anything bringing and I really don't mind taking something along.

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If going to a BBQ I always take something, for some reason with BBQ's that's what you do. I've never been asked to do it before though, unless it's a request for my veggie kebabs and even then it's more of a case of you bring them and we'll pay for them.

In turn if I hold a party (buffet or sit down meal) I provide everything for my guests.

The only time this doesn't happen is Christmas when I host the waifs and strays gathering. Everyone chips in a fiver towards the food and none of us are on our own for the big day.

This money goes towards the main three course feast, everything else is provided by me.

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I don't have a problem with that love. I think it's the norm in places like Australia, NZ.

 

We've hosted and been to kids parties where that is also the norm and grown-up parties too actually, explaining that we feel the desire to celebrate but can only do so if people bring the fayre.

 

You offer your house/space, they bring the fare, particularly if you are broke. There's some story in the bible that mentions it or something. I understand your feelings tho, especially if there has been no precedent.

 

I've also thrown parties where I've provided everthing and more, all the way down the line, but those days are gone, well, for now anyway.

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I`ve never asked anyone to bring stuff to a bbq or party (birthday or otherwise) although they usually bring beer.Family members usually turn up with something though:)

Usually when I go to a bbq I`ll ask if they want us to bring owt.

Usually end up taking a HUGE cake from costco!:love:

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