Hosting a party etiquette

[Suffragette1 10]

saying that, it all depends on your friends financial situation, if they are struggling then i wouldnt mind, but if they were in the same financial situation as me .... but just didnt want to folk out then i would be very insulted and probably wouldnt go.

 

See # 11. They certainly live it up more than we do.

[Squiggly 10]

If you are putting on a party, the host provides all. Most guests wouldn't dream of turning up without a contribution, whether alcohol or food. Some might because of personal circumstances and I think this is OK. But actually asking people to a party and insisting they make a contribution is wrong!! (Unless they are your very close mates/family etc)

[boyfriday 21]

Now, a really good friend of mine is hosting her birthday party this weekend, a bbq in fact. Everyone (including us) has been asked to bring along the bbq fare (via a round robin text). I find this a little bizarre not to mention 'tight'. Whenever we've hosted a party we have never ever asked anyone (other than my family) to provide anything. We have also always catered more than enough for everyone as well as buying enough booze without taking into account that most guests will bring a bottle.

 

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable? Or is this the latest craze? Bring your own?

 

No Suff, you're not being unreasonable, it might be appropriate when you're younger for everyone to chip in, but people your age, should have a certain degree of sophistication and at the very least be putting on a stellar, unforgettable party to pi** off all their friends..my god, don't these people read Hello??!

[Jessica23 10]

If you are putting on a party, the host provides all. Most guests wouldn't dream of turning up without a contribution, whether alcohol or food. Some might because of personal circumstances and I think this is OK. But actually asking people to a party and insisting they make a contribution is wrong!! (Unless they are your very close mates/family etc)

 

My bold. How do you go about phrasing it, one wonders?

[boyfriday 21]

They live it up when they want. Several weekend breaks a year, a weekend at Ragdale Hall just gone. Double income, no kids etc.

 

..hope they aint SF'ers, otherwise the dilemma will be abated when you're hoiked off the invite list!

[pinklady 10]

you could always send a text back ......... a really shocked one saying ........ just got this text, is it a joke? do i really have to bring food to your party?

 

have you decided what your going to do yet Suffy?

[Jessica23 10]

you could always send a text back ......... a really shocked one saying ........ just got this text, is it a joke? do i really have to bring food to your party?

 

have you decided what your going to do yet Suffy?

 

That would be awesome.

[poppins 10]

Well l may be boring, but dont have parties or BBQ's , l if cant afford to pay for my guests then its all off.

 

I agree, I wouldn't throw a party if I couldn't afford to supply everything myself, family get togethers are a different thing, people just bring things without even being asked then.

 

I would also supply wrappers for people to take home leftovers.

[Suffragette1 10]

you could always send a text back ......... a really shocked one saying ........ just got this text, is it a joke? do i really have to bring food to your party?

 

have you decided what your going to do yet Suffy?

 

Am definitely going as she's one of my best friends. Stocked up Tesco's about to expire Chinese meaty spare ribs, which are now in the freezer!!

 

I can't really not go tbh.

 

As BF said, I'm not really used to this sort of caper at my stage in life - ie 40-something (shudders) - thanks for reminding BF!!!

 

When we left London, 4 years ago, we hired a room in a pub and invited all of our friends. We shoved £250 behind the bar and after that people had to pay for their own. On my 40th, I had a big champagne breakfast party here, catered for by ourselves. My mother did provide and prepare a tropical fruit salad, at her insistence. As we had nowhere to host anything for the London contingent, 40 plus of us met in a resturant for a meal. We paid for all the booze.

 

To me that is kind of normal behaviour when you're a 40-something. We're not students anymore.

 

I don't have a birthday party every year as it would be very expensive. Just milestone ones. Next year we'll have a big bash as it'll be our 10th wedding anniversary.

 

BF, you'll be invited but please bring your own food!:hihi:

[Suffragette1 10]

..hope they aint SF'ers, otherwise the dilemma will be abated when you're hoiked off the invite list!

 

No, they ain't! They don't live in Sheffield.

[max 13]

This was always common practice in New Zealand and Australia. You'd receive an invitation to a party or BBQ and on the bottom would be the line "Ladies a plate".

 

This would mean that the women folk should bring some food (a plate) and it was taken for granted that the men would bring the booze, with the host supplying sweet sherry for the ladies.

 

The advantage to this was that you were unlikely to under or over cater for however many people turned up. Plus, you would get a wide variety of food as some "ladies" would try and outdo each other by bringing along pavlovas, exotic salads and even curries. For BBQs you could go to the local butcher and buy barbie bags of varying sizes which would contain everything you needed for a BBQ for as many people you wanted.

[arachnophobe 10]

Why not ask them (as earnestly as possible), if this is a new social trend and lament how behind the times you feel for not doing this yourself.

 

Maybe it'll guilt them into changing the arrangements? Even if not it'll be interesting to see how they explain it.