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Hosting a party etiquette

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Now, a really good friend of mine is hosting her birthday party this weekend, a bbq in fact. Everyone (including us) has been asked to bring along the bbq fare (via a round robin text). I find this a little bizarre not to mention 'tight'. Whenever we've hosted a party we have never ever asked anyone (other than my family) to provide anything. We have also always catered more than enough for everyone as well as buying enough booze without taking into account that most guests will bring a bottle.

 

I am a tad put out as I've done loads for this particular person, including hosting a surprise 40th birthday party for her here, chez-Suffy, whereby we provided absolutely everything and more. I've also cooked and sent round 10s of meals when she was going through a really rough time lately and was living off takeaways.

 

We've had several champagne breakfast parties where we always laid on an abundance of food and booze. When the kiddies were younger and we had birthday parties for them when parents used to stay, we used to cater for them too in terms of food and booze.

 

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable? Or is this the latest craze? Bring your own?:confused:

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We've done a few BBQ's lately and just told them to bring there own snacks (if wanted) and alcohol but thats only cos we was short on cash. If we had spare money then we'd def provide everything.

 

Guess you can call us tight :hihi:

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Its usual to ask people to "bring a bottle", and fair enough, because you don't know what everyone likes to drink, its easier that way. But asking to bring food is a bit weird.

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We've done a few BBQ's lately and just told them to bring there own snacks (if wanted) and alcohol but thats only cos we was short on cash. If we had spare money then we'd def provide everything.

 

Guess you can call us tight :hihi:

 

I should have added in my OP, that I think if you're hosting a birthday party, I don't think you should ask guests to bring their own food as well as the expected present.

 

I wouldn't dream of doing it myself. An inpromptu get together is one thing where everyone chips in, but laying on a birthday bash is another entirely.

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I should have added in my OP, that I think if you're hosting a birthday party, I don't think you should ask guests to bring their own food as well as the expected present.

 

I wouldn't dream of doing it myself. An inpromptu get together is one thing where everyone chips in, but laying on a birthday bash is another entirely.

 

I certainly wouldn't tell them to bring there own food or anything if it was a birthday bash. Sorry Suffy, i thought we was just on about BBQ's :blush:

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I certainly wouldn't tell them to bring there own food or anything if it was a birthday bash. Sorry Suffy, i thought we was just on about BBQ's :blush:

 

No worries love, I should have been more explicit in my OP. Off to edit.

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Have you been asked to bring your own plates, cutlery and firelighters as well?

 

The last one I went to everyone was asked to bring their own booze but that was it.

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Why was she living on take-aways??........am only jealous as it's so expensive .

 

i have been invited to many bbq's where we were asked to take a dip/nibbles/salad etc, but never the meat !

 

Just to cover all eventualities, i take Mr Fibutton.

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Most BBQs I've been to, almost everybody contributes to the food without being asked - even if it's for a birthday. Same goes for some indoor birthday parties round here - people bring cakes and stuff without being asked. Some folks just aren't as well-off as others and welcome a bit of help with the catering.

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Why was she living on take-aways??........am only jealous as it's so expensive .

 

Long story. Suffice to say that her partner had some serious health issues.

 

i have been invited to many bbq's where we were asked to take a dip/nibbles/salad etc, but never the meat !

 

Ditto. Well I always offer and take some of my signature salads. I don't mind people taking me up on offers, but I don't like to be asked!

 

Just to cover all eventualities, i take Mr Fibutton.

:hihi::hihi::hihi::hihi:

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Most BBQs I've been to, almost everybody contributes to the food without being asked - even if it's for a birthday. Same goes for some indoor birthday parties round here - people bring cakes and stuff without being asked. Some folks just aren't as well-off as others and welcome a bit of help with the catering.

 

They live it up when they want. Several weekend breaks a year, a weekend at Ragdale Hall just gone. Double income, no kids etc.

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It's not really my style of working, but each to their own.

 

I've been to BBQ's where I've been asked to take whatever I wanted to drink and also whatever I wanted to eat if it was something different from the norm.

 

Personally I don't really have a problem with it. Not everyone can afford to feed lots of people at the same time - whereas I would imagine one person taking a fiver's worth of food/alcohol can make a real difference.

 

I'll be having my annual Garden party/BBQ for +30 people in a few weeks and it'll cost a small fortune, but that's fine. It's something that I really look forward to doing every year - and the buzz of knowing everyone is having a great time is fantastic. It's what good hosting is all about.

 

Maybe the person in question wants to get everyone together but just can't afford to do it?

 

I wouldn't be too harsh on them, personally. We don't give in order to receive, do we. :)

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