Dear forum- what do I do when my partner flits?

[Dear Forum...]

Dear Forum,

 

Well, im not sure where to begin with this one.

 

I got home from work last night, to find a list that my OH had written out.

It seems that she is going to do a vanishing act on saturday, she had written things like "empty bank account, buy new clothes to last a few weeks, get a train ticket, change sim card"

 

Now,I never thought she would do something like this but we have been having a few ups and downs recently, and after a bit of thinking, I realise that she said she always wanted to travel etc.

 

 

My problem is, if she does do this, and I really hope she doesnt, I will probably find myself homeless with 3 kids (she had 2 kids already when we met) - the house is entirely in her name.

 

Its a council house, and I have been paying the rent since I moved in with her, however, there is no proof of this.

 

What should I do ?

 

And please dont say "talk to her" etc, she is a very stubborn person and if she has made up her mind to do this, nothing I say will be able to stop her.

 

What I need is practical advice to enable me to keep a roof over mine and the kids heads.

 

It will also mean having to get a reliable babysitter as I work unsociable hours (theres no way im giving up my job and claiming benefits)

 

Any advice gratefully received...

[SYorksDeano]

Empty the bank account before her would be a good start

[Agent Orange]

Remind her of the fact that she has responsibilities i.e. CHILDREN

[EdnaKrabappe]

What strikes me is the lack of affection either way in your writing... now i appreciate you are writing for practical advice but the human side of you is not there at all. Are you not "upset" your partner is considering leaving you?

I agree putting a freeze on the account probably is wise for the time being but i'm just really struck by your "and i'll need a babysitter, and a new housekeeper." To your credit you also mention that you will be left with three children, surely two of them are ultimately her responsibilty, not yours. I don't mean to be harsh and maybe you've just left all that side out but if you've just turned into a couple who exist with each other maybe it is time to discuss splitting up and doing it with each others cooperation.

[SYorksDeano]

Kick her out before she has the chance to do it to you. As you have been in the house for so long you have rights

[slickwitch]

What an abysmal woman. Kick her out before she walks and be proud of looking after her kids. You're doing them a huge favour. Good luck my love.

[Aries22]

You were meant to find the list of things she wants to do. Maybe just a communication problem that you have.

[Classic Rock]

What strikes me is the lack of affection either way in your writing... now i appreciate you are writing for practical advice but the human side of you is not there at all. Are you not "upset" your partner is considering leaving you?

I agree putting a freeze on the account probably is wise for the time being but i'm just really struck by your "and i'll need a babysitter, and a new housekeeper." To your credit you also mention that you will be left with three children, surely two of them are ultimately her responsibilty, not yours. I don't mean to be harsh and maybe you've just left all that side out but if you've just turned into a couple who exist with each other maybe it is time to discuss splitting up and doing it with each others cooperation.

 

It does read a bit like that but some people go into survival mode when faced with a life changing problem like this, putting emotions to one side and deal with the practicalities first. Only behind closed doors do they fall apart.

 

I hope it works out for the best.

[Guest Mod_Man]

What strikes me is the lack of affection either way in your writing...

 

Maybe the post was a bit rushed because the woman is buggering off in a couple of days and leaving them with no home and three kids. It does sound like a tough situation. I have no advice though.

[slickwitch]

There are many times I've had my bags packed and at the door and Mr SLick has pulled his finger out at the last minute and showered me with love. Don't give up. It's a cry for affection I think.