Farmboy Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I have a 9yr old step-son and as the topic states he has developed a problem with lying and story telling. His father who he sees a couple of times a week is a compulsive liar and his mother didn't think it was possible for this kind of thing to be passed on through the genes but I can tell you she's beginning to wonder now. His dad isn't a bad fella, just unreliable and a bit of a loveable rogue type. The four of us do talk to each other about things, I get on with his dad and also really well with him so there doesn't seem to be any friction or underlying problems there. He is not in the least bit under-privelaged and has many things and opportunities that alot of kids his age don't have. My step-son's lies and stories can range from minor things maybe to get him out of trouble to complete fabrications about something that happened (or didn't happen as it turns out) at school. The problem is that now he's having trouble at school with bullying as nobody believes a word he says anymore, he's becoming known for it and he's losing alot of friends over it. His mother and I have sat him down a few times to talk it through with him and explained that he doesn't need to lie about things just to make himself popular. We've told him the story about The Boy Who Cried Wolf, I've told him a story about a kid I knew in secondary school who used to lie about everything and he never had any mates and of course he's had numerous tellings off for his behaviour. We're not really sure how to combat it or how to change his ways. When we talk to him about it he does seem to listen but within hours and sometimes even minutes he's forgotten everything we've said and has reverted back. He is a BIG attention seeker, always performing and never stops talking and asking questions about anything and everything. In his quiet moments he can be a lovely kid and he's really affectionate and sometimes really funny, smart (as well as a smart-mouth which often gets him into trouble), considerate and loving but the lying and story-telling needs to be stopped before it gets completely out of control and possibly leads to other behavioural problems as a result. Any advice please parents out there?
Zebra Posted March 18, 2008 Posted March 18, 2008 I encounter a fair few kids like this in my work, I teach drama and some of the kids who get a big kick out of it tend to be the ones who have storytelling ability. It might be suited to try him with a group like that, something local or something through school and if he likes it he can channel all that through it, attention seeking behaviour can easily be channelled into great performance. Later, if he takes to it, you could give him options of, you can only go to drama if you don't tell lies...... giving impetus to behave in the right way in order to make the most of Another suggestion would be to find something he can excel at and which you would be interested to hear about. Some kids feel they just aren't interesting enough or their lives aren't so they want to make stories up to get your attention, make themselves sound interesting etc etc. If he has something to excel at, say..... swimming or circus skills classes, he can start new aspects of the hobby fairly regularly, giving something interesting to talk about, be praised for and get positive attention for. My last suggestion would be bribery, put up a chart in which you can put stickers for the days he has been honest and when he achieves x amount of stickers he gets money/chocolate/a trip out /whatever works for you and him. Maybe a bonus system, if he manages a whole month of stickers and no blank spaces he can have a new football/xbox game/something bigger than the smaller achievement. Later, if he manages a whole year he could have.... whatever seems reasonable and hopefully by then the problem is solved without bribes.
Farmboy Posted March 18, 2008 Author Posted March 18, 2008 The drama thing would be a possibility as it's something I have links to so it wouldn't be difficult to get him involved. I mentioned it to him just now when I put him to bed and he seemed quite keen. He's had a bad day today though bless him. Trouble at school with one of the kids so he's had lots of affection and we had a bit of a chat at bed time about stuff, told each other a few jokes etc.
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.