Should there be a new "Ministry for Silly Talks"?

[shoeshine]

With acknowledgement to the great Monty Python Team's scripts (notably the "Ministry for Silly Walks"), I wonder if it's time to set up a new Government "Ministry for Silly Talks" to co-ordinate the multiple safety warnings issued by existing Government Ministers to us day after day.

 

If approved by you, a new Cabinet Minister would run a new Government Ministry (at an exceptionally high cost to your pocket) pledged to make pledge after recycled pledge (ad infinitum) to ensure your perfect safety, health and happiness from cradle to grave.

 

If approved, the remit of the new Minister would be to:

 

1) Organise the Department with a newly-appointed "on message" multicultural team of Civil Servants representing every socio-economic group in Britain.

 

Team Members names will not be published for personal security reasons.

 

2) Appoint several new Main Quangos comprising the wives/husbands of the "Great and the Good" on enhanced salaries with attractive expenses systems (no receipts necessary).

Suitably furnished new offices to be provided. reflecting the Quango Members superior position within Society.

 

Minutes of meetings will not be necessary, for personal security reasons.

 

3) Create a multiplicity of new Focus Groups with lots of free tea and chocolate biscuits for their Annual Meeting.

 

At these Focus Group , Meetings, the Focus Group Members will be expected to kiss both cheeks of all fellow Members, shake hands, smile pleasantly at each other, wave their arms about when they speak. (N.B ...speaking sensibly is not compulsory) whilst waving arms about is compulsory) and get down to the real nitty-gritty of deciding which Islington Restaurant they will honour with their presence for dinner afterwards.

 

Minutes of meetings will not be necessary, for personal security reasons.

 

If the venue for the meal can't be agreed unanimously, an ad-hoc sub-Quango Group will be formed by general agreement by an emergency Meeting of the Main Quango Appointees.

 

If said Main Quango can't reach a decision of which Restaurant the Focus Group should visit afterwards, the matter should go to arbitration within an Emergency Cabinet Meeting called by the Prime Minister.

 

If the Cabinet "Arbitration Meeting" fails to reach agreement, Tony Blair's peace-making skills will be called into action via an encrypted phone call to Tony, at his Jerusalem Hotel Suite funded by the courtesy of Iraq, Afghanistan, Iranian Governments, Gaza Leaders and Dubya.

 

Tony will arrange a meeting with the aforementioned to discuss his hotel bill when they all meet up to test out his skills as a "Peacemaker" in the Middle East.

 

A further announcement of the decisions on how the new "Ministry of Silly Talks" could further the use of the Media to keep us all safe will appear on here later, maybe.

 

Do you think we should have this new, exciting "Ministry"?

 

Will it enhance your life prospects?

 

Would you be prepared to fund it from your taxes?

 

Answers on an empty cigarette packet to yours truly.

 

ps Acknowledgements also to S.F's "Fareast" who's sense of humour I have tried to emulate on the above post.