relost Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Hi, Long winded, so here goes...... Reading some of the threads about relationships has got me thinking about my own situation... I have recently got back together with an ex after 4 years apart. We arent very serious and weren't before, but he has said he really wants to make a go of it. He uses a lot of internet networking sites, and the other day I realised he had deleted me from his facebook friends list. When I asked him why he said it was because some of his mates had joined and he didn't want them perving and sending me messages. Our profiles werent linked with "in a relationship" or anything, and all his profles say he is single. Last month on one site, he had several comments that I saw all prooving that he had been chatting to random girls he doesn't know. Saying things like "you are from *** then, yeah we can chat!", "Thanks for the msg", and "your inbox is full so can't reply". I asked him and he told me not to be paranoid. Whats annoying me is he hasnt made any move to change his profiles to "in a relationship". I logged onto faceparty last week, to just see if I had any messages etc (haven't used it for ages) and he was online, for hours. Now I know he has met a fair few exes online, and this worries me. I can't help thinkin who he is chatting up. I know I may be paranoid, but am thinking of creating a prfofile on a site and seeing if he responds to a message. I know its entrapment in a way, but I need to know if he is who I think he is or if I should forget hangin on to him and moving on. Advice greatly appreciated!
JoeP Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Question to ask yourself - why did you split up in the first place? Answer that and then see if the behaviours are still there - if they are then there's no point, becaue you'll probably break up again. The fact that you're planning a bit of entrapment says to me that you feel yourself that you're not sure - don't make the same mistake again.
relost Posted March 2, 2008 Author Posted March 2, 2008 Question to ask yourself - why did you split up in the first place? Answer that and then see if the behaviours are still there - if they are then there's no point, becaue you'll probably break up again. The fact that you're planning a bit of entrapment says to me that you feel yourself that you're not sure - don't make the same mistake again. We were just seeing each other, but I realise I wasnt going to get a commitment or anything, and I met someone else who I was with for 3 years, and he had a baby with someone else.
Jessica23 Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Hi, Long winded, so here goes...... Reading some of the threads about relationships has got me thinking about my own situation... I have recently got back together with an ex after 4 years apart. We arent very serious and weren't before, but he has said he really wants to make a go of it. He uses a lot of internet networking sites, and the other day I realised he had deleted me from his facebook friends list. When I asked him why he said it was because some of his mates had joined and he didn't want them perving and sending me messages. Our profiles werent linked with "in a relationship" or anything, and all his profles say he is single. Last month on one site, he had several comments that I saw all prooving that he had been chatting to random girls he doesn't know. Saying things like "you are from *** then, yeah we can chat!", "Thanks for the msg", and "your inbox is full so can't reply". I asked him and he told me not to be paranoid. Whats annoying me is he hasnt made any move to change his profiles to "in a relationship". I logged onto faceparty last week, to just see if I had any messages etc (haven't used it for ages) and he was online, for hours. Now I know he has met a fair few exes online, and this worries me. I can't help thinkin who he is chatting up. I know I may be paranoid, but am thinking of creating a prfofile on a site and seeing if he responds to a message. I know its entrapment in a way, but I need to know if he is who I think he is or if I should forget hangin on to him and moving on. Advice greatly appreciated! If you aren't serious then you shouldn't be worried about who he's talking to online (depending on your definition of serious, of course). And not only is it entrapment, but it's a little bit weird, too. If you don't trust him, get rid, I'd say. ETA: Sorry, 'weird' sounds rude. I meant, using online sites to assess your relationship isn't a great idea, in whatever way. I didn't mean you were weird.
PennyHT Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Is this the same guy you posted about a while ago the Relationship advice please dont judge post?. If not you seem to have some bad luck with men. I hope everyone on the forum today having relationship problems all find someone nice soon.
Dozy Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 Getting back with an ex can work for some people - but it obviously isn't working for you. Whether he is or isn't chatting up other women online is fairly irrelevant - what matters is that you don't trust him. If you can't discuss your doubts with him openly, you'll never be able to trust him and, without trust, any relationship is dead in the water.
Plain Talker Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 I got back with an ex, and it didn't work out... I forgot the cardinal rule:- "Remember why your ex- is your ex-!"
wwcrazy Posted March 2, 2008 Posted March 2, 2008 I got back with an ex, and it didn't work out... I forgot the cardinal rule:- "Remember why your ex- is your ex-!" me too, twice!
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