Single as a 30 something in Sheffield, what's it like?

[mr_busdriver 10]

Relationship is kind of going down the pan, however most of my mates are now settled down. We do go out once a month, however looking at the single 30 somethings in the bars, it all kind of looks a bit sad.

 

Is it as bad as it looks, I can't imagine bars/clubs being as effective as they were when I was 18 (I'm a slightly more portly version (a subtle way of saying I'm more lardy these days) ) of what I was.

 

What do I do? do I put up with relationship thats not ideal and stick with i for the sake of not being single, or do I take the plunge.

 

Is anyone else in a similar situation?

[Farmboy 10]

If you're not happy and you don't think it's worth trying to spice things up and make it better then it's best to just get out mate.

 

As far as finding someone new goes there's a few options. I know it might seem sad but you could try some of the online dating sites, Match.com, Dating Direct etc. Despite the inaccurate and out-dated stereotypes it's not just desperate mingers, psychos and saddos that use them. You can meet some really nice (and sometimes naughty ) people on there so it might be worth getting yourself on one of them for a month just to see what kind of results you get.

 

Failing that just get out there with your mates and see who you can find in the drinking houses of Sheffield. The good thing about the dating site/agency option is that you already know the other person is looking for someone too whereas in a bar it's down to luck whether the person is single or even looking for someone to spend time with.

[The_DADDY (2) 10]

Relationship is kind of going down the pan, however most of my mates are now settled down. We do go out once a month, however looking at the single 30 somethings in the bars, it all kind of looks a bit sad.

 

Is it as bad as it looks, I can't imagine bars/clubs being as effective as they were when I was 18 (I'm a slightly more portly version (a subtle way of saying I'm more lardy these days) ) of what I was.

 

What do I do? do I put up with relationship thats not ideal and stick with i for the sake of not being single, or do I take the plunge.

 

Is anyone else in a similar situation?

Get out. Thats what i did. If your unhappy then your only going to end up making your partner unhappy. Besides, do you really want to be asking a similar question when your in your 40s?

[Nutbrown 10]

Mate, the fact thats you've posted on here shows that it's not just her thats unhappy / it going down the pan, you're not happy with it either. If you loved her etc you would be talking to her trying to sort it out, evidently not so you need to get out. I've found myself in the same place many times but as soon as the question arises, if you love someone even if they hate you at the time you'll try... you don't want to be in a relationship where that's at question.

My mother went on an online dating site, it went really well for her and she met loads of people... turns out now she met someone in Cornwall anyway that she met on holiday there... but she has some friends that she met and she likes to go out with for a meal etc every now and then. Would your mates be willing to go out with you? Have you spoken to them about it?

 

I hope things work out for you I really do because I know how hard it is,.. but for every single man,.. surely there is a single lady?

[mr_busdriver 10]

Get out. Thats what i did. If your unhappy then your only going to end up making your partner unhappy. Besides, do you really want to be asking a similar question when your in your 40s?

 

 

 

 

Definatly single 40 something is even worse, good point

[sophiec1979 10]

...We do go out once a month, however looking at the single 30 somethings in the bars, it all kind of looks a bit sad.

 

please dont say things like that- im 28, been single for the best part of 10 years and comments like that fill me with dread!

 

however, with regards to the second part- would you rather be unhappy on your own with the free rein to make yourself happy?...or make yourself and someone else miserable at the same time whilst feeling tied to each other?

 

i know which one id chose, but either way, the only person who can make the decision is yourself.

 

 

x

[mel77 10]

i'd rather stay single than be with someone for the sake of being in a relationship....

[jamtart27 10]

Definatly single 40 something is even worse, good point

 

actually its not

i have a great time being single 40+ ok there is not so much choice these days ( men wise) but being in a relationship is not the be all and end all , there is lots of fun to be had you just have to go out and make the effort to find it, there are good points to not being in a relationship but won't bore you with a list.

[ddeckerslyke 10]

Can you try to fix your relationship? Make it work. Have you tried? Is it worth it? If you end it then IM(H)O you'll need a while for it to wear off.

 

I know a couple of people who are in really strong relationships with partners they met through dating agencies. One of them got home p*ssed up and p*ssed off one Saturday night, typed something like "single women in Sheffield" in Google, got a website that sounded wildly unsuitable - something like desperateslappers.co.uk - but ended up marrying someone he met through the site.

 

Radical idea - do you really need to be in a relationship at all? Some/Most people do but some people, it seems, don't. Is your current relationship broken beyond repair. If it is then dating online might be worth a try.

[pinnacle 10]

please dont say things like that- im 28, been single for the best part of 10 years and comments like that fill me with dread!

 

however, with regards to the second part- would you rather be unhappy on your own with the free rein to make yourself happy?...or make yourself and someone else miserable at the same time whilst feeling tied to each other?

 

i know which one id chose, but either way, the only person who can make the decision is yourself.

 

 

x

 

 

There ya go Mr Busdriver, Sophies free and single....off ya go hand in hand into the sunset!

[mr_busdriver 10]

Maybe I'm missing something, the general impression I get when I look around is that long term males who are single, appear to be worse off than their female counterparts.

 

What about holidays, things like that are their companys that do holidays for the partnerless person?

 

I suppose my main concern is the fact that I have aged since I was last single (ie, got a more relaxed waistline) and that will put off potential partners. I know its a shallow concern but.....

[sophiec1979 10]

There ya go Mr Busdriver, Sophies free and single....off ya go hand in hand into the sunset!

 

lol, thats wasnt what i was getting at! but thanks for putting a grin on my face.

 

i just meant its hard enough when youre in your 20's....i dont want be told it gets worse!

 

 

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