Dear forum I have a problem.

[Moonbird 10]

hello all my name is stanley moose kira told me it is ok to use the computer when mummy and daddy are not here. the way i trained my mummy and daddy was i would wine and wine and then the neighbours would hear me and mummy got so worried that the neighbours may shout so now they take me to bed. the biggest thing at the moment is im grounded, last night my mummy and daddy took me for a walk im only 8months old and need to run my legs off, anyway some human idiot dumped a lot of glass on the field and silly me never saw it. it clean sliced my little pad off and mummy cried nearly as much as me they took me to that stinking place where the humans put needles in me and glass sticks up my ... well you know where. mummy had to use plastic cos it was so expensive they didnt have the real parer money you know that what dissolves in your mouth, they also put a lampshade round my poor neck, enough is enough i thought so i wined and wined and daddy took the lamp shade off. i waited til all was quiet and chewed my way through the plasters well i needed to look at my paw. mummy is so cross she didnt go to work we went back to the stinking place for more needles and more hiding plasters. now they are not my friend and i can only go outside my house for a wee no walikng cos im bad.

love you all my furry mates

stanley moose woof x:suspect:

Hello Stanley Moose, long time no hear

I am very sorry to hear about your poor foot, I bet it really hurts why is it that Mummies seem to drag us off the "that stinking place" every time anything happens? do they enjoy seeing things rammed up our bottoms and needles shoved in us or something? I really do think that they are a bit sadistic by nature.

If you don't want the hiding plasters on then just take them off, take no notice of your Mummy, what does she know shes only a human, ooh they are so full of themselves at times

I was pleased to see that the sleep deprivation method worked for you too in training your Mummy, I have been telling everyone what a success it is, well done Stanley.

Keep up the good work with your Mummy and she will soon be a credit to you I'm sure.

Love your pal Kira xx

[poshgirl 10]

thanx for you post kira,

last night was even better, i moaned that much after mummy soaked my foot she thought i was in pain truth is i just wanted a cuddle i spent the whole night in bed with them awwwww they are getting better by the day.

much love stanley moose xxxx

[teeny 10]

Hi there its us again !!! Yes we are very naughty Mojo can now drink daddies tea while i distract him by barking as if someone is at the door, yesterday we nearly ate chocolate cakes but mummy moved them so we just drunk tea instead! we\also love rabbit food and chewed through a bag which was delivered ellie housebun helped us too!

Mummy says we will have to have a kennel in the garden if we don't behave? the garden is fun we drink from the waterfall and pee on daddies sunflowers!!! so now we are only allowed in there with the mummy or daddy! still gary will be coming soon for Quincy he helped me by getting the buiscuit tin on the floor a few moments ago as he is a big sheltie we have eaten most of the nice ones and slobbered on the ones we don't like mummy says we are revolting!!!

love Badger , Mojo and Quincy the visitor

[ami_j 10]

Oooh rabbit food ive not tried that, ive tried hamster food though its yummy...my mum always catchs me i dont know how she says something about me not digesting it sneaky mum! the hammys get bits of my food too so whats the problem

wish i had a helper too i always get caught in the kitchen...if i had a distraction...

Love Casey

ps yes mums are sadists but its good to make them feel guilty for taking you to those horrid smelling places by looking sad they feel bed and give you treats

[Plain Talker 11]

hello everyone, it's Trixie here,

 

I've not been in my new forever-home very long, with my new forever-mummy, but I've made friends with my "big brother" Kane, who is teaching me all sorts of naughty tricks.

 

I even managed to chew up my mummy's book on dog-training today, the look on her face was a picture!

 

I'm starting to be a very good girl, because my big brother is showing me how to "be clean", which is what mummy tells us, when she lets us onto the back garden. I'm learning that it means that mummy wants us to do a wee and a poo, before we go for a walkies, so we keep the footpath clean for other humans who don't seem to like walking in our "little presents".

 

I've had a boo-boo on my tummy, too, kira, just like you! My mummy took me to the funny smelling place she said was the vet. the people were all fussing me and telling me what a pretty girlie I was, but they made me go to sleep for a little while, and I woke up with a sore tummy, too, and a lampshade round my head. Oooh it isn't half irritating me.

 

Still, mummy says it's for the best in the long run. I've got a little boo-boo now, and I'm a bit sore, but mummy says it will stop me getting much bigger and much nastier boo-boos when I grow up.

[DiamondGirl 10]

Hello my name is Barney and im a 4 year old male cat. Or should I say handsome cat

 

For the last year or so everyday I go across the road to this other family and they let me in their house to play with their cat called Bagpuss who looks similar to me. They feed me and let me sleep in their house. My mummy and daddy dont know so when I get home they feed me aswell! I cant believe I have got away with it for so long!

 

Last week I was in Bagpusses mummy & daddys bedroom on the windowsill. I was getting some sun rays sat next to a cat ornament which I really like

 

All of a sudden I looked across the road and my mummy and daddy were looking out of their window looking and pointing straight across at me

 

Then they walked out of my house and started walking across the road and they were staring up at me and they looked really angry. I tried to camouflage myself against the cat ornament but it was too late. BUSTED!!!

 

Then I heard the knock at the door. Oh dear..............

 

Next thing Mrs Bagpuss came in the bedroom and carried me downstairs and passed me to my daddy.

 

Then Mrs Bagpuss said she didnt encourage me but she didnt mind me coming in either. Then she told them I sometimes help myself to Bagpuss's biscuits. I cant believe she was revealing all my secrets! Then the worst bit came when she told my mummy and daddy that im a clever cat because I knew when it was their dinner time on a sunday because I always turn up at 3 o'clock and sit next to the table and wait for titbits of sunday roast.

 

Now im at home, my mummy and daddy dont seem angry and they even gave me fresh fish this morning. But they have still grounded me. My brothers and sisters are laughing at me.

[estweyn 10]

Hello All, its really lovely to read how you are getting your mummys and daddys trained up.. Stanley Moose, I am sorry to hear about your poor foot, there are some right idiots about smashing glass up, I feel like I want to bite their bums very hard indeed when I hear about poor little puppies getting injured.

How nice to meet you Barney, my best friend in Tinker, he is a right honerable you know, an elderly stateman of a cat. He really loves me. When I told him about how our mummy was treating me he was wonderful. Last night he stayed out till 8pm. He normally doesnt go any further than the front garden but to teach her a lesson he hid. She was getting frantic, shouting him, rattling his plate, looking under bushes. Then he strolled in at a bout 8 oclock and demanded feeding, SHE jumped up and made a big fuss of him and fed him straight away... oh he didnt half show her who the boss was... I am really proud of him. Its good to have allies isnt it.

I have perfected a new ruse, laying quietly with my head on my paws and a sad look in my eyes. She gets all sympathetic when I do that. I havent had to use the pooh and wee routine in the last few days so she must be getting a little better. I hope so, I am quite attatched to her even if she smells a bit and could do with losing a bit of weight...

Talk soon

Joshxx

[Plain Talker 11]

Hello All, its really lovely to read how you are getting your mummys and daddys trained up.. Stanley Moose, I am sorry to hear about your poor foot, there are some right idiots about smashing glass up, I feel like I want to bite their bums very hard indeed when I hear about poor little puppies getting injured.

How nice to meet you Barney, my best friend in Tinker, he is a right honerable you know, an elderly stateman of a cat. He really loves me. When I told him about how our mummy was treating me he was wonderful. Last night he stayed out till 8pm. He normally doesnt go any further than the front garden but to teach her a lesson he hid. She was getting frantic, shouting him, rattling his plate, looking under bushes. Then he strolled in at a bout 8 oclock and demanded feeding, SHE jumped up and made a big fuss of him and fed him straight away... oh he didnt half show her who the boss was... I am really proud of him. Its good to have allies isnt it.

I have perfected a new ruse, laying quietly with my head on my paws and a sad look in my eyes. She gets all sympathetic when I do that. I havent had to use the pooh and wee routine in the last few days so she must be getting a little better. I hope so, I am quite attatched to her even if she smells a bit and could do with losing a bit of weight...

Talk soon

Joshxx

 

My "big brother" has been teaching me how to do "THE EYES!". He says it's been really effective, for him, for the last fifteen years, and yes, it keeps mummy JUST where he wants her.

 

He's shown me exactly how to do "the Look" :- it's a cross between "reproachful" and "pleading".

 

Mummy jokes that "she has us dogs exactly where we want her" .

 

mwu-hahah... little does she know....

 

hehehehe

 

lots of love,

 

Trixie-pup

[Plain Talker 11]

It's Trixie here again.

 

I went back to the funny smelling place that my mummy calls the vets the other day, and the lady there took the stitches out of my tummy. My "boo-boo", on my tummy, is healing up really nicely, the lady said.

 

I'm able to jump about like a mad-thing again, as my tummy is so much better, now.

 

I like to leap onto my mummy, in her wheelchair, as she opens the back door when she comes in from the shop.

 

She was a bit cross with me the other night, though:- she'd bought a takeaway, a curry and naan bread, and was halfway through eating it, when the phone rang.

 

When she went to answer it, I pinched half the naan bread, and came running into the kitchen, really proudly, to show mummy what a clever hunter I was, killing the bread....

 

Mummy told me off, but she laughed, too, so I don't think she really meant it.

 

I'm going to have to go, mummy's shouting me for a "walkies", she's calling me:- "Trixie, Trixie, full-of-tricks!"

 

love Trixie.

[estweyn 10]

Well guys and gals, I did her the other day. She took me back to the vets, no blood taken this time but he stuck a needle in my neck. I know she was trying to be nice because she took me to the park for a swim in the lake, I havent been allowed to do that since I was first poorly, but she says now she knows whats the matter with me I can go swimming again. Well, I jumped about in the long grass playing hide and seek with her and she was laughing at me, and then we went down to the lake, she didnt see the swan but I did. I launched into the lake and swam like billyO after it, but they are really clever birds those swans, they just swim a bit faster the closer you get. They have gone right up in my estimation. I swam nearly half the width of the lake after the swan bird. Mum was having an agy bout on the shore, shouting my name, I could tell she was getting hysterical. I eventually turned round and swam back to her, had a good shake and laughed at her. She told Ben (my human brother) that she was so worried she nearly had a heart attack, she thought the swan may attack me and I would drown. Must be honest I never thought of that, I was more intent on getting hold of the swan first, but she insists that if it had turned on me I would not have been able to fight because I was in the water.... hmmp she doesnt think much of my talents does she. Then to add insult to injury she told Ben that I would have either drown or have had to go back to the vets for treatment and I had just cost her five hundred quid... anyone would think I wasnt worth it...

 

Anyway she deserved a shock, but I am going to be good now, I think she has suffered enough...

[teeny 10]

Hi guyes,

We are being very noisy now at 4.30 am now as its light humans should be out of bed walking us in the park. Mummy told us off yesterday, she was grumpy saying she was tired. She came down and told u to shut up !!! then went back to her bed, we were quiet for another hour but got fed up and sung very loudly until daddy came down stairs, to walk us, we love the early morning walk!!! we then came back mummy put some toast on the coffee table which Mojo managed to get it was yummy............... mummy was so cross we have been sat in the kitchen all day. Alfie my new friend is bigger than me he tells me he takes food from the side. so friends how can me and Mojo do that???

[hennypenny 10]

Hi guyes,

We are being very noisy now at 4.30 am now as its light humans should be out of bed walking us in the park. Mummy told us off yesterday, she was grumpy saying she was tired. She came down and told u to shut up !!! then went back to her bed, we were quiet for another hour but got fed up and sung very loudly until daddy came down stairs, to walk us, we love the early morning walk!!! we then came back mummy put some toast on the coffee table which Mojo managed to get it was yummy............... mummy was so cross we have been sat in the kitchen all day. Alfie my new friend is bigger than me he tells me he takes food from the side. so friends how can me and Mojo do that???

 

Goodness you young ones tire me out - I don't bother to wake up nowadays until I know that the food is out and ready for me, and even then I don't always feel like getting up straight away.

 

I don't really like to walk so much now either, sometimes I have to pretend to limp to get out of it, it is hard to remember which leg it is though, so mummy sometimes laughs at me

 

I can't manage it now with my rheumatism, but when I could jump up on a chair, mummy sometimes forgot and left one near to the side so then I could reach. Perhaps you could learn to push a chair near?

 

Sometimes the cats take pity on me, and they climb up and knock food down for me. Maybe you could ask your tall friend if he could do that?

 

It isn't fair being little is it. My friend is ever so tall, he can take all the food off the side if his mummy forgets to lock him out of the kitchen

 

Love

Kiri

xxx