How do I explain to him that she's gone?

[youwhatref]

Dont build too much into it. I dont think you need to be overloading a 4 year old. I think the angels in the sky approach work or maybe nana has gone to look after a grandad or nana's mummy etc. Try to build a positive out of it although i appreciate it isn't that way. Sorry for the loss!

[EdnaKrabappe]

Max Velthuijs has written a book in his Frog series about one of frog's friends dying. It's aimed at that age group and really explains the process well. However I've looked on Amazon and i can't find which one it is for you sorry- I remember it has a green cover. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you find a way. Death is a very difficult concept for the under eights but the trick is not to lie to children and just answer questions as honestly as you can without frightening them. It is confusing enough.

[EdnaKrabappe]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Frog-Birdsong-Max-Velthuijs/dp/0862649080/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203543264&sr=8-2

 

This was the book I was referring to.

[Deebles]

So sorry for your loss. My nephew lost his mummy sixteen months ago, he was only three at the time. My brother was very open with him and took him to the funeral. He told him she had died and gone to live with the angels in heaven. Sometimes when he cries to see his mummy my brother tells him that although he can't see mummy they can still talk to her.

[Titian]

You could tell him a story about a caterpillar that transforms into a beautiful butterfly, or a rainbow bridge story. Pm me if you want details. Keep it simple.

[Tony]

I'd just tell him straight. Don't dress it up with stars and angels and pixies - it will only bite you on the bum later because no matter what fairy tale you have told she isn't coming back so he might as well have the real story and undertand properly rather than being confused about a load of other stuff that doesn't make any more sense than the truth. Kids are as hard as nails as many have suggested above ^^^

 

Four might be a bit young for a long day at a funeral but if he can cope and you can cope its worth considering taking him even if its only for an hour .