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Is it wise to perhaps be seen as a victim?


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and what im getting at is that if a person has been raped they have been the victim of a heinous act and will undoubtedly have been affected in a negative way. are you seriously saying that the person/s you know that were raped and now hold their head up high took something GOOD from the situation!?

 

It is possible, troubledjoe. Have a read of Lucky, by Alice Sebold. It's a memoir of a rape she experienced while in her first year of university, and the subsequent effect it had on her.

 

Obviously rape is a heinous act, but everyone's response is different.

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and what im getting at is that if a person has been raped they have been the victim of a heinous act and will undoubtedly have been affected in a negative way. are you seriously saying that the person/s you know that were raped and now hold their head up high took something GOOD from the situation!?

 

Taking something good from horrific situations is the only way it's possible to get through them sometimes IMO, as if you dwell on the negative it can drive you to despair/self-pity/self-hatred.

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and what im getting at is that if a person has been raped they have been the victim of a heinous act and will undoubtedly have been affected in a negative way. are you seriously saying that the person/s you know that were raped and now hold their head up high took something GOOD from the situation!?

 

yes i am. unfortunetly i know a few girls that have been raped and i can say some of them have refuse to be a victim and have become strong, independent woman due to the experiance!

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your missing my point! refusing to let the experience affect you is different to thinking the experience was a good one. I dont believe anybody has ever been raped and walked away from it thinking "wow that was great!"

 

But that's very different from what you wrote originally, which was about 'taking something good' from it, I think.

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and i stand by that, please tell me what "good" you can take from being raped! do YOU think you'd take something good from the experience of rape?? refusing to let it affect the rest of your life IS different, but i do not see how a person can see being raped as a positive

 

enduring a rape attack is certainly not "good", but you can either choose to be cowed by it for the rest of your life, and spend your life behind bars of your own making, or you can stick two fingers up at life and the attacker, and say "Row-locks to you, you don't own me, you aren't taking over MY life!"

 

Now that sounds a bit blase, but I am speaking metaphorically, as well as speaking from experience.

 

I consider myself a stronger, better person for having gone through what I have in my life, and coming out the other side.

 

"what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger"

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and i stand by that, please tell me what "good" you can take from being raped! do YOU think you'd take something good from the experience of rape?? refusing to let it affect the rest of your life IS different, but i do not see how a person can see being raped as a positive

 

I don't know, is the honest answer to that.

 

But like I said before, some women can and do take positive things from the experience. I recommended Lucky, by Alice Sebold, in my earlier post, so I'll use her as an example. She wrote a fantastic memoir that sold a lot of copies - that is one example of taking something good from a rape experience.

 

Nobody's trying to say that rape is good. Obviously. Or even that people can see 'being raped as a positive'. What we are trying to say is that some women can, after the event, take something positive from an horrific experience.

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