Are you ashamed of your partner?

[Plain Talker 11]

No, I don't mean :blush:ing when they break wind, or say something daft...

 

I'm talking about the scenario where you have been with your partner for almost three years, and yet you still can't tell your parent(s) that you are courting a lovely lass... (making her feel sordid, and cheap) You don't respect her, or think enough of her to be a man, and stand up and say "this is the woman that I love"?

 

You don't think enough of her/ she's not important enough to you, to spend time with her at special times of the year, like Birthdays, Christmas or New Year? leaving them alone, to "see in" these "special" occasions. Occasions that anyone with a ha'p'orth of care or common sense would expect a couple to be together?

 

Are you proud enough to stand up and say "This is X---. s/he's my partner, and I love him/her!" ?

 

Anyone think that's not a good enough reason to justify saying "Ah, get thee hence, we're through?"

[sheffworker 11]

PT, is this an "I have a friend who......." problem?

 

 

yes, tell him to shove it. that might just make him realise how stupid he is.

[Jabberwocky 46]

If someone isnt thrilled enough with their partner to WANT to show them off, then theres something badly wrong.

Id be VERY suspicious if my other half wanted to hide me away, and I know she`d be the same if I did that to her.

[redrobbo 10]

No, I don't mean :blush:ing when they break wind, or say something daft...

 

I'm talking about the scenario where you have been with your partner for almost three years, and yet you still can't tell your parent(s) that you are courting a lovely lass... (making her feel sordid, and cheap) You don't respect her, or think enough of her to be a man, and stand up and say "this is the woman that I love"?

 

You don't think enough of her/ she's not important enough to you, to spend time with her at special times of the year, like Birthdays, Christmas or New Year? leaving them alone, to "see in" these "special" occasions. Occasions that anyone with a ha'p'orth of care or common sense would expect a couple to be together?

 

Are you proud enough to stand up and say "This is X---. s/he's my partner, and I love him/her!" ?

 

Anyone think that's not a good enough reason to justify saying "Ah, get thee hence, we're through?"

 

Not spending time together on your partner's birthday (never mind Christmas/New Year) in nearly hree years! Other than being hospitalised, on remand or in prison, or posted overseas with the army - what possible excuse can a partner have for not being with their supposed loved one on their birthday?

 

No-one should be left feeling sordid or cheap by their partner. They should me made to feel important and shown respect.

 

I think three years is long enough to suffer these indignities before showing someone the exit door.

[Plain Talker 11]

hmm well, what can I say, sheffworker.. I can't name names, sadly, on here, I had best protect the guilty, unfortunately. (on both sides)

 

Lets suffice it to say it's someone who is, I am reliably told, apparently, strangely surprised that his GF of almost 3 years felt moved to say "Enough's enough!", and can't see what he's done wrong... :puzzled:

[Plain Talker 11]

I'm not sure how long the mods might let this run for, incidentally, before one (*coff*) or the other of the parties raises an objection.

[Dozy 11]

hmm well, what can I say, sheffworker.. I can't name names, sadly, on here, I had best protect the guilty, unfortunately. (on both sides)

 

Lets suffice it to say it's someone who is, I am reliably told, apparently, strangely surprised that his GF of almost 3 years felt moved to say "Enough's enough!", and can't see what he's done wrong... :puzzled:

 

Personally, I'm strangely surprised that the GF has put up with this sort of behaviour for so long!

 

Some people seem to be totally lacking in the ability to understand that other people have feelings and needs that might not be fulfilled by their idea of what a relationship is about!

[Plain Talker 11]

Well, he and I *coff* she and the bloke had had numerous "disagreements" about his being secretive, and how she felt sidelined, and like some "dirty little secret", rather than able to hold her head up proudly...

[Dozy 11]

Well, he and I *coff* she and the bloke had had numerous "disagreements" about his being secretive, and how she felt sidelined, and like some "dirty little secret", rather than able to hold her head up proudly...

 

Oh, dear, he really is a prize pillock, isn't he? She should dump him from a great height, since he obviously has no intention of taking any notice of what she says.

 

He'll probably then go round whining to all and sundry, "I don't understand - what did I do to upset her?".

[Plain Talker 11]

I am reliably informed that he is allegedly "devastated"... *snorts* yeah, right... He's so devastated that he could not be bothered to even pick up a phone.

 

When she said "But, you never so much as sent me a text to say 'happy Christmas'! " his reply was

 

"well.. I didn't think you'd want me to, seeing as I wasn't spending it with you!"

 

Absolutely unbelieveable!

 

She said "Hang on... it would have been nice to have had a hint that you were at least thinking of me, despite being apart..!"

 

Her "happy new year" txt (yes you read this right.. she got a TXT, not "PHONE CALL!" ) was one of those generic ones that you send to any number of mates, not even a specific one.

[medusa 16]

I was frequently ashamed of how much one ex took advantage of everyone around him (stole money from some of my relatives by stealing their Visa card number, then called them all sorts of names for expecting it to be paid back and not wanting to spend leisure time with him, opened well-meaning gifts and then in front of the giver saying that it was tat and putting it in the bin, that sort of thing) but he was at the extreme end of unacceptable and eventually the relationship had to end to protect my mental health, once the violence and verbal ground me down.

 

These days I would expect any partner who wanted to be with me to act as though he wanted to be with me and to treat me, my wishes, desires and aspirations with respect.

 

Of course I would want to spend time together, including on the days that are important to me. By the time I'd been with somebody for a few months I'd expect for the mutual trust and understanding to be flowing freely and for both parties to have understood what makes each other tick. If my partner's family weren't at least aware of my existence within a few months I'd be wondering why...

[HappyHoosier 10]

I'm sorry, PT. It's extremely hurtful behavior, especially from someone who is supposed to care about your feelings and sing your praises to everyone.

 

What's worse is his supposed confusion over why his behavior would be hurtful... Was he born on Mars or summat?