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The Window of Life

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Hi ya all.

This one I started last month (Demotivators) and not had time to finish it, so now I have a quest for you lot, have a go at finishing it, even if it’s just one or two verses. Let's try to keep it AAAB.

I have put it on the open forum so we can all have a go, why not get the kids involved, we may be pleasantly surprised .

The window of life.

1

As we gaze into the autumn sky

We sit and ponder of days gone by,

The loves we lost, the tears we cried

Nostalgic reflections

2

A mother’s love, the sweet embrace

Precious moments from the angel of grace

Now empty room and empty space

Ambiguity of faith

3

We start to grow, we start to question.

Why does God take without exception?

Must our faith take a new direction?

Questioning fidelity

4

A frown appears, we think of school

And always made to look the fool

Despising things we had to do

The adversity of life

5

The school yard bully, we stand alone

And show that fear is yet unknown

With bloody nose, we give a groan

A lesson in limitations

6

The first romance, a stolen kiss

A childhood crush, a secret wish

A broken heart from broken bliss

The trials of love

7

Childhood's desire for maturity heeded

"No short cut, child. Patience needed!"

Mum's spoken words never succeeded

How right she was.

8

Elusive thoughts that fill our mind

Meanings of which we are yet to find

Adolescents can be so unkind

Elucidation of life

9

Words of wisdom from all directions

Hard to find the right connections

Too much advice too many questions

Eclecticism of knowledge

10

Job interviews, curt rejection

Seeking ever new direction

Accept the dole in resignation

The futility of dreams

11

Writing here, writing there

C.V's posted everywhere

Unemployment really is unfair

A lesson in diligence.

12

But what is this I see up high?

A shooting star across the sky

At last a sign of hope for me

Oh sweetest Jubilation

13

Then fall I must from giddy heights

It's hard to see on murky nights

My ray of hope was landing lights

Oh bitter Desperation

14

So does this mean I am that moose

Finding peace at the end of a noose

Nah - don't let the buggers grind you down

Life is for living

15

A letter comes, addressed to me

From a Manager I've been to see

"The job is yours! So, tomorrow at Three?"

A lesson in tenacity.

16

Sitting here as years fly by,

Monday to friday, nine to five.

Bills to pay and axe to grind.

A lesson in reality.

17

Pension day, it comes to fast.

Silver threads in the looking glass.

Creature comforts that’s all we ask.

Humble at heart.

18

A comfy chair to rest my bones,

Clean bill of health and a loving home.

Our children now have kids of their own.

The joyous circle of life.

19

But circles coil and life grows weary

As each new vision sends eyes teary

Tomorrows trend is always dreary

Time to say goodnight.

20

We start to ache, we start to pain

Dreaded thoughts run through our brain

We see the doctor once again

A quest for equanimity.

21

"You'll live for now!" the doctor said

Standing at the end of the bed.

"No worries then?" I replied

Hope is truly eternal?

22

The ravage of old age comes too soon

Long since shed the maternal cocoon

To the reapers call we are not immune

Excepting the inevitable.

23

I scorn the Reaper, Scythe and all

My vision set within Ashkelon's Wall

A votive Silver Calf I see

At last! Eternal rest for me.

 

©Sheffield Forum Writing Group

 

Contributions; (Please check I have numbered yours correctly)

Verse; 7, 11, 15, 21, 23. Shoeshine.

Verse; 10. Sauerkaut.

Verse; 12, 13, 14. Pharedrus.

Verse; 16,18, Sheppo.

Verse; 19. Scotty225.

 

Lots of room for more, it is your poem.

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I really liked it. I thought it was a very well balanced piece of writing that a nice flow about it :thumbsup:

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I struggle with poetry, with appreciating it and especially with writing it. But I like the way this tells a story and if we all add a bit it will be very interesting to see where it goes.

 

I've had a go at one verse but feel free to reject it. Like I say, I don't really "do" poetry! Wish I could!

 

Job interviews, curt rejection

Seeking ever new direction

Accept the dole in resignation

The futility of dreams

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Following on from sauerkraut's offering:-

 

Writing here, writing there

C.V's posted everywhere

Unemployment really is unfair

A lesson in diligence.

 

A letter comes, addressed to me

From a Manager I've been to see

"The job is yours! So, tomorrow at Three?"

A lesson in tenacity.

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Nice one sauerkraut, that’s just what we want.

I’ll put it in the main body.

There is room for more, it looks like we have three verses on employment so try a different time.

:thumbsup:

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Nice one Shoeshine

I knew I could rely on you; I'll fit them where I think appropriate.

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Nice one Shoeshine

I knew I could rely on you, but could you edit them down to a four line verse.

“Conformity is a virtue”

 

Re-edit done as you requested, coyleys...see post No.4.

 

ps will you please edit out my previous piece quoted on your post No.6

 

Cheers. :)

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But what is this I see up high?

A shooting star across the sky

At last a sign of hope for me

Oh sweetest Jubilation

 

Then fall I must from giddy heights

It's hard to see on murky nights

My ray of hope was landing lights

Oh bitter Desperation

 

So does this mean I am that moose

Finding peace at the end of a noose

Nah - don't let the buggers grind you down

Life is for living

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Nice one Phaedrus, not had a post from you for some time, then you hit us with a few brilliant verses.

I will fit them where I think appropriate for the time being and juggle all about later, if anyone has any ideas about arrangement, speak now, it is your poem.

Good Man. :thumbsup:

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Between verse six and seven we need more childhood memories up to the dawning of puberty, while keeping the gender neutral.

 

I hope this fits the bill:-

 

Childhood's desire for maturity heeded

"No short cut, child. Patience needed!"

Mum's spoken words never succeeded

How right she was.

 

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Poetry is one thing I have never been able to write, but I appreciate reading it and this one I liked very much. It told a story and it made sence. Some poems, I have read, seem to try to hard, as if some of the words are chosen merely for the sound rather than the content. This one showed how it could, and indeed should be done.

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Perhaps, as a final verse, coyleys....

 

I scorn the Reaper, Scythe and all

My vision set within Ashkelon's Wall

A votive Silver Calf I see

At last! Eternal rest for me.

 

I hope you like it. :)

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