No idea how to arrange care for relative.

[Bonny 10]

Hi, i'm after some advice please. Father-in-law took ill before Christmas and has been in hospital ever since. We're hoping he'll be out soon. He will probably need access to oxygen at home among other medications.

 

Basically, he lives with mother-in-law quite a distance from us (3hr by car) and about 2.5 hours by car from other relatives. It's increasingly clear that they can no longer manage entirely on their own and we're desperately trying to sort out a solution which they will be happy with and which will enable us to be confident that they are ok.

 

I'm not sure where to start, can anyone offer any advice?

[pinklady 10]

Get in touch with your local authorities social services and get him a social worker, they'll sort everything out

[Siân 10]

Your FIL's GP & district nurse team may be able to help too

[Bonny 10]

Thanks guys. Social worker may be a good start. The GP where he lives hasn't really been very helpful so far. He was diagnosed as type 2 diabetic but (not sure if this is a generation thing, I reckon so) him and MIL decided between them that he wasn't really diabetic because he's always had sugar etc etc Anyway, he hasn't been to the GP's for nearly twelve months and no-one's been near to check up on them or anything - that's what we've been told anyway, whether that's accurate or not is another matter.

 

It was only when sister-in-law picked them up to take them to her house for over Christmas and New Year that we found out how ill he was. MIL said he just had a cold... It's taken a few weeks but they think he's stable now, he's at the hospital near sister-in-law and she wants them to stay with her for a few weeks until he's stronger as we all feel if they go home, he'll end up going down hill quickly.

[JayneRay 10]

Go and look around nursing homes yourselves, make a general appointment for sometime that day, obviously avoiding meal times as staff tend to be busy. Pinklady's advice was good.

[TopKat1 10]

You could try asking the nursing staff at the hospital he is in now if they could put you in touch with their duty social worker. Hopefully they would be able to have a chat to your family and assess your needs and get the ball rolling for when he's discharged.

[Bonny 10]

Father in law was discharged from hospital, thankfully he is improving, slowly. He and MIL are back at their home and not managing very well.

 

Been in touch with Social Services in their local area and they're going to go out and do an assessment to see what help they can provide - but they can only do this if the in-laws agree - and they're not keen.

 

Once someone is 70, they have to get a letter from their GP to confirm they're still fit to drive I think. But what happens after that? Do they have to provide a similar letter every so often?

[WTAW 10]

Hi Bonny, I know it's a while since you posted but I was just looking for some similar advice. My father in law was taken ill in January also and has been in hospital since, he was very boarder line for staying at home prior to this. We have just sent an application in the Places for People for extra care sheltered accomodation. Hopefully we will get a place for him (fingers crossed) I don't know if this would be an option for your in laws but it may be worth looking into. It is a big up heaval for any one to leave their home but I am a big believer in quality of life especially as we get older. The Places for People offer sheltered accomodation on four levels depending on what assisstance you require level 1 is fully independent and you have a flat in the seprate building across the road where you cn come and go as you please. Levels 2-4 depend on what assisstance you may need depending on your abilities. These levels provide your own flat with your own front door but are attached to the main building which offers 24/7 assistance if required. The best thing is these a fairly new homes (opened in 2004) with averything you need to live life independently if you want but they provide cooked meals in the dining room 5 days out of 7, one of the days they don't cook one of the staff takes orders for the local fish and chip shop. They also provide morning tea and will prepare tea's as well (sandwiches etc). Obviously these all cost extra but the service is there. They also have social afternoons and evenings so no need to sit in being lonely. And they have their own bar! It may be worth mentionig this to your in laws, the point being they could make a move together whilst they have a chance and both make theirs lives easier, it would be much worse making the move when there is just one of them because they don't want to leave the home that they had together - if you know what I mean. I know places for peopl have other places around the country if they don't want to come to Sheffield. Try http://www.placesforpeople.co.uk. There are of course lots of other places being purpose built as demand is getting higher for quality, safe homes for the older person, another one is due to open in Woodhouse soon, sorry don't know any of the details for that. Good Luck