Writing for publication

[mikomi 10]

I think Pl has gone out for lunch.

[Peacock Lady 10]

Nope, I took the day off and went to Scarborough with the children. Gorgeous weather--we went in the sea!

 

I've just got back, and have to catch up, so will get back to this in a few days. Please, no more extracts now: there's a lot to look at all ready if you're interested in how an editor evaluates a piece of writing. Instead, look at your own work and see how many cliches you can eradicate, and how many superfluous modifiers (adjectives and adverbs, usually) you can strip out; then check and recheck your punctuation (and this means you, Manta, as there are still errors in your reposted piece!).

 

Meanwhile, if anyone's interested, can you suggest WHY cliches and modifiers are such bad news in writing? What effect do they have on the reader, do you think?

[Hopman 46]

The obvious danger with clichés is that, by their very nature, we have heard them all before. Are we reading something new, or is it just a rehash of someone else's work? Ideally, they are to be avoided, (I hesitate to compare them with any disease) unless there is a good reason for resorting to them e.g.

 

"It was a dark and stormy night," began Dick. His audience groaned. They were expecting another of Dick's cliché-ridden tales and this was living down to expectations..

 

Here the use of the familiar is to show something about Dick's character. He lacks originality. Will he do something original at the end of the story? Only if someone or something can change him.

 

Anyone who read the original form of Bernard's Drum Roll a few months back may have noticed that the three paragraphs submitted to Peacock Lady had been altered. I had selected the first three paragraphs, but the word count was too high. I cut it down to fit the brief of 250 words. After her comments, this was further reduced. Has it lost anything other than volume, or in the language of the kitchen, has the flavour been concentrated?

 

Looking again at the latest version (notice I did not write final version), I notice that I have used the adjective wooden too much. I don't think anything would be lost by removing the first and last occurences to give:

Bernard's sweaty fingers gripped the drumsticks as he waited for his cue.

 

The square was crowded except for the centre where a sturdy wooden platform had been erected. Two men stood there looking at the crowd who stared at the middle of the platform, where Bernard's handiwork, a wooden construction stood. Two tall arms pointed skywards...

 

We could eliminate one of these by replacing it with oak but here I would need further reading to discover if this would be historically accurate.

[Peacock Lady 10]

Or we could assume that the reader will understand that both structures are wooden, and miss one of the "woodens" out completely...! Cutting like this does concentrate the work, and it improves pace: added value, if you like.

 

Cliches can be useful in dialogue, if they're showing the character of the person. Otherwise they're damaging: and by working hard to eliminate them, you add to the freshness of your writing.

 

What about adjectives and adverbs, by the way? Why remove them? We know cliches are too familiar, but what problems do such modifiers introduce to a text?

[andco 10]

Or we could assume that the reader will understand that both structures are wooden, and miss one of the "woodens" out completely...! Cutting like this does concentrate the work, and it improves pace: added value, if you like.

 

Cliches can be useful in dialogue, if they're showing the character of the person. Otherwise they're damaging: and by working hard to eliminate them, you add to the freshness of your writing.

 

What about adjectives and adverbs, by the way? Why remove them? We know cliches are too familiar, but what problems do such modifiers introduce to a text?

 

 

Thank you so much for starting this thread, PL. It has helped me clarify my thinking on some guidelines I am preparing for an off-line media. I find modifiers such as adverbs and adjectives, clutter sentences and undermine the power of the writer or speaker. It is an important point which I will add to my guidelines.

 

Once again, thank you

[pattricia 575]

Are we not lucky to have Peacock Lady in our Writers Group.?

[Peacock Lady 10]

You are either deluded or desperate.

 

Now shut up and write something.

[pattricia 575]

You are either deluded or desperate.

 

Now shut up and write something.

 

:hihi::hihi:

[Peacock Lady 10]

Emoticons don't count. You need to use verbs and nouns and... and... oh, you know. Those WORD things.

[pattricia 575]

Emoticons don't count. You need to use verbs and nouns and... and... oh, you know. Those WORD things.

 

Yes, I know. Im afraid Ive lost my imagination, but enjoy reading everyone elses stories at the moment. Ive noticed what a lot of stories you have had to read and correct. Thats why I said we are lucky to have you.

[Peacock Lady 10]

That's a good start. I'll give you some prompts if you've lost your imagination: use the character who has lost her imagination; who is grateful for a stranger's advice; and include a white hatchback car, a bird in a tree, and the smell of coffee on the air.

 

Go on. I dare you.

 

And while you're doing that, can anyone suggest why modifiers are such bad news for fiction? (clue: why do some words need modifying while others don't?)

[smith-07 10]

Hi Peackock Lady, This is part of a short (ish!) story I'm writing. I hope you have the time to read and evaluate it.

 

Thank you

 

 

"Miss Kelly Lyall was extraordinarily late home from work, and was looking forward to cooking her microwave meal for one and catching up on her favourite soaps on TV. To any outsider it wouldn’t seem like much to look forward to at all, but Kelly was obsessed with her career and didn’t have time for nonsense like a boyfriend or even proper cooking for that matter. If she wanted to really treat herself she might open a bottle of wine later from the fridge. As soon as she walked through the door into the drab ground floor hallway of the apartment building she knew something was wrong, usually all the lights would never be out like this. She tried the light switch to her right a couple of times, and then once more for luck, but got nothing. She didn’t feel fear of the dark; she was too clever for that. This was just another of those annoying things to add to the list of annoying things that had been her day today. She decided to stop by Jason’s apartment on the second floor before heading up to her own on the fifth; she assumed he would know what was going on."

 

 

Edited to add: Please feel free to visit my blog/website

 

http://enjoytheskyline.blogspot.com/