Central University Neepsend Tip Site

When I come to power [as surely I must?], I intend to start a new University which will truly cater for the needs of our multiethnic, polysexual, multicultural, post-modern society. Its entrance criteria will be 'non-judgemental', its title, Central University of Neepsend Tip Site. The initials of the name are designed to send out a bold and frank self-appraisal which will contribute, in a very real sense, to the diversity of modern Britain. In, er, a very real sense. We shall be offering some dynamic and highly 'relevant',' non-gendered' courses, such as the B.A. [Hons] Applied Alcopop Studies, the BSc Hard Sums, and the gruelling MSc in Advanced Plasticine Worm Modelling. Already, work has started upon the Bobby Knutt Centre and the Marti Caine Building , with the Clive Betts Lecture Theare practically finished. Our prospectus will be available soon.

We are looking for would-be lecturers to teach highly 'relevant' courses at Central University Neepsend Tip Site. Do you have a course that would interest us? If so, please reply. We are particularly interested in subjects with the word 'studies' tagged on at the end. It doesn't matter about your qualifications, research record or RAE rating. As previously emphasised we operate a 'non-judgemental' admissions and recruitment policy.

What about a course to relieve post Edwards syndrome to us ex Hinde Houses who suffered years of " discipline " from the cloaked crusader....

Timo... It's good to see a caring, understanding, nineties type, such as yourself, the kind whose virtues have been extolled in song by that infamous Aussie warbler, Mr Kevin (expletive-deleted) Wilson, showing a keen interest in the younger element in our society...

I feel, however, that your choice of designation for this forthcoming seat of learning may, by some, be considered as ill-advised as that of the late Lord Baden-Powell, who in 1908, published a book entitled "Scouting for Boys", fortunately that was during a far more innocent era... Such is not the case today and your intentions may perhaps be open to being misconstrued...

Not more bl**dy students!! Sheffield is bulging at the seams already

Cycleracer,

Are the prospectuses not out yet? We actually offer an NVQ in 'Post-Edwards Counselling'. Students gain genuine, 'hands on', workplace experience in counselling elderly veterans/victims of Sheffield's infamous 'Headmaster from Hell', the sinister, caped Welsh Dracula that was Derlwyn Edwards. You may recall that Edwards was turned down as a volunteer for the Das Reich Panzer Division on account of his cruel nature. He then went on to turn Hinde House into an SS Order Castle. Do you recall the infamous incident back in 1974 when those first years went 'missing'? Apparently the poor dears thought they were going for showers.

Pseudonym,

If I am a 'nineties type', please make that 1890s. That would be the age of Lord Salisbury, and the Maxim Gun. In other words, an England of conservatism, civility and imperial victories against treacherous, jezail-bearing Pathans and Wazirs and the murderous hordes of the Mahdi.

Greybeard,

Central University Neepsend Tip Site aims to corner the market in attracting students from marginalised socio-economic groups. Cynics may sneer that we are simply 'keeping chavs off the dole', that our 'cough and drop, spell your name right and you're in' entrance requirements as 'too easy' [or, as the Daily Telegraph's Education correspondent, John Clare put it, 'Frankly a bloody mockery of Higher Education'], but we see ourselves as enablers as well as educators, in a very real sense.

now that we are talking about mickey mouse courses how about media studies?

Originally posted by Greybeard

Not more bl**dy students!! Sheffield is bulging at the seams already

They can't be bothering you out in Bradfield though Greybeard......

And lets not forget - the two Universities in Sheffield are HUGE employers.... jobs are jobs.... plus all the other student related revenue (It's not just pubs and landlords that benefit - student population = money in the city)

Allthough to be fair, I wouldnt like to live next door to a household of six of them or in a prodominently student populated street...... Ho hum.....

What about about adding sociology to our list of mickey mouse courses? A wonderful subject enabling students to enter the wonderful world of employment as sociology lecturers.

The prospectus may not be ready, but the cross-dressing football squad have their new kits

Originally posted by max

What about about adding sociology to our list of mickey mouse courses? A wonderful subject enabling students to enter the wonderful world of employment as sociology lecturers.

I was going to suggest Sociology!

Not forgetting Personal Studies.

Did anyone mention Media Studies yet?

Hillsborough faculty of procrastination studies would like to offer a BA(Hons) in Timewasting (advanced)

I will write the prospectus.

Tomorrow.