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How not to write English- the HSBC way

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The Bank tells me this:

We’re still working on fine-tuning the new platform to ensure we roll-out the changes in the best way possible to you. Once the fine-tuning is complete, we’ll let you know the start date of the pilot.

 

Way too many buzzwords! What’s wrong with saying:

We’re still preparing the changes so that they’re as good as possible. We’ll let you know when they start.

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Assuming that the recipient has more than one GCSE is not a bad thing.

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The Bank tells me this:

We’re still working on fine-tuning the new platform to ensure we roll-out the changes in the best way possible to you. Once the fine-tuning is complete, we’ll let you know the start date of the pilot.

 

Way too many buzzwords! What’s wrong with saying:

We’re still preparing the changes so that they’re as good as possible. We’ll let you know when they start.

 

Sometimes in your posts you have a signature. It suggests you are a lawyer.

 

Irony?

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The Bank tells me this:

We’re still working on fine-tuning the new platform to ensure we roll-out the changes in the best way possible to you. Once the fine-tuning is complete, we’ll let you know the start date of the pilot.

 

Way too many buzzwords! What’s wrong with saying:

We’re still preparing the changes so that they’re as good as possible. We’ll let you know when they start.

 

The pedant in me would have preferred a semi colon between 'possible' and 'we'll'.

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The Bank tells me this:

We’re still working on fine-tuning the new platform to ensure we roll-out the changes in the best way possible to you. Once the fine-tuning is complete, we’ll let you know the start date of the pilot.

 

Way too many buzzwords! What’s wrong with saying:

We’re still preparing the changes so that they’re as good as possible. We’ll let you know when they start.

 

Sounds perfectly understandable to me both ways.

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The pedant in me would have preferred a semi colon between 'possible' and 'we'll'.

 

Not sure if anyone requested a grammar check.

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Not sure if anyone requested a grammar check.

 

That's literally the whole point of this thread....

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I don't think that grammar was the actual point if the OP, just an over-wordy statement by HSBC.... tautology, iirc

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I don't think that grammar was the actual point if the OP, just an over-wordy statement by HSBC.... tautology, iirc

 

This is the most pedantic thread ever - I approve!! :hihi:

 

The title was 'how not to write English...', so my comment did fit!

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That's literally the whole point of this thread....

 

Nope, no one mentioned grammar. Its like someone saying look at the titanic what a disaster and a person saying, yes those door knobs should have been 1/2 inch higher according to regulations.

Edited by TimmyR

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