Forehead-slapping moments of stupidity?

Looking for spectacles when they are on your head ?? DO'H !!!

On a related note, I once got off a bus, then as someone got on, ran back on and beseeched those still aboard to help me look for a glove which I seemed to have lost and dropped in the course of the journey (it was winter and important!). People stared at me blankly and were reticent in helping. I left the bus, a little indignant that they had been so unhelpful, when I noticed the glove clutched in my left, already be-gloved hand.

I had some fantastic opiate-fuelled mush-brained moments last year after major surgery, but I was so mush-brained I appear to have forgotten them all.

One new year, I had the brilliant idea of cutting the christmas tree up with a pair of secateurs and chuccking it on the open fire. Unfortunately I was paying no attention to what I was doing as was performing 'blokes multi tasking' - (not a good idea) and watching telly at the same time. I suddenly realised I'd cut the end of my finger off right through the fingernail !. Blood everywhere! Dee daa dee daa deea daa Doh!

Oh yeah ... another christmas I went for a lovely winters walk at Cressbrook with my girlfriend. She knew I was accident prone (a disease I think) and told me not to look over the edge of the cliff.. guess what - I did and promptly fell off it into a raging torrent of water about a hundred foot below. The river was very swollen because of meltwater from the snow and I was washed underwater for a couple of hundred yards. My gf thought I'd drowned ! I asked her to take me to the pub but she took me to hospital instead... Doh!

I had a very blonde and embarrassing moment today.

I took a watch to have a new battery put in it, as it wasn't going.

Only one little problem...

It was a wind-up mechanism, not battery-driven!!

Yorkshire water authority, 1979... I had just started on the job and I was digging a long trench along a footpath with a pick and shovel.

As I dug I realised that I was digging through white powdery stuff and the pick kept getting stuck as I chopped down into it.

Eventually the pick lodges fast and I couldnt get it out no matter how hard I pulled so I sat on the end of the trench to have a little think...

As I looked along the trench I noticed little holes that appeared to be blowing a strange smelling... sort of... "Gas" out of them....

I wondered what it was and made myself comfortable on the side of the trench to decide what to do next....

Then I lit a fag....

Baboom...

The good people of Attercliffe never did find out who caused the 12 foot crater in the middle of Attercliffe common and my eyebrows, hair and pubes grew back....eventually.