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False allegations. Social services involved - What would you do?

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I agree.

Unfortunately any answer received on this forum can only be based on the ops side of the story and this would be biased in his favour.

He needs professional advice, someone who has access to previous hearings et al and can draw a correct course of action based on fact.

 

You obviously missed the bit where i asked people to assume for the sake of argument my version is the correct one . Youve no need to worry yourself about any replies being biased. Ive also already pointed out legal help is not possible.

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Even so, the answers you get will be skewed by your bias. But if you are willing to take advice from someone you don't know have you tried 'Dear Deidre'?

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Some months ago my wife left. She did it in her usual way, full or drama and seeking all the attention she could get. To be honest I was glad to see the back of her.

The the police then turned up and arrested me and my problems really started.

She had accused me of all sorts of vile things which I wont go into here but after hearing my side the police decided no further action would be taken. I was not bailed, it was just dropped.

I guess she was annoyed by this so she applied for a Non Mol order, she got an interim order and a couple of months ago I went to court to defend myself, she had a barrister paid for by legal aid so I was well out of my depth and certainly outgunned.

However, in the end an undertaking was made (with no admission of guilt or finding of any guilt) that lasts 6 months. We can talk on the phone about the kids but we are not allowed to see each other face to face in person.

Im fine with this as I felt it would at least be a clean break.

Anyway, she has since tried to get me arrested (without success) and has not kept up her agreement to see the kids regularly or pay a penny maintenance.

As a result of her vile accusations when she left, Social services are involved. Im not too fussed about this because since she has left the house has been a much nicer place, the kids are happier, my daughters behavior, grades and attendance at school have improved out of sight. I maintain this is because my ex was a toxic influence on the household and eventually social services will have to agree and they will be gone from out lives.

The problem is, because my ex has let the kids down so often, the social worker wants a meeting at school with the ex, both kids and myself to hammer out an arrangement for when she sees them.

My problem is this, We are still not allowed to see each other face to face and I am worried that i will be breaking the court order thus leaving myself open to the ex playing her games of trying to get me in trouble. The social worker said I am ok to have the meeting but I am not so sure. I dont have a solicitor for this, I cant get legal aid, the only help I can get is from internet fora like this one.

Can anyone please advise me if I should attend this meeting or would it be a clear breach of the undertaking made with the court.

Sorry for droning on, believe me I left a lot out and tried to keep to the basics but any advice would be massively appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

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Some months ago my wife left. She did it in her usual way, full or drama and seeking all the attention she could get. To be honest I was glad to see the back of her.

The the police then turned up and arrested me and my problems really started.

She had accused me of all sorts of vile things which I wont go into here but after hearing my side the police decided no further action would be taken. I was not bailed, it was just dropped.

I guess she was annoyed by this so she applied for a Non Mol order, she got an interim order and a couple of months ago I went to court to defend myself, she had a barrister paid for by legal aid so I was well out of my depth and certainly outgunned.

However, in the end an undertaking was made (with no admission of guilt or finding of any guilt) that lasts 6 months. We can talk on the phone about the kids but we are not allowed to see each other face to face in person.

Im fine with this as I felt it would at least be a clean break.

Anyway, she has since tried to get me arrested (without success) and has not kept up her agreement to see the kids regularly or pay a penny maintenance.

As a result of her vile accusations when she left, Social services are involved. Im not too fussed about this because since she has left the house has been a much nicer place, the kids are happier, my daughters behavior, grades and attendance at school have improved out of sight. I maintain this is because my ex was a toxic influence on the household and eventually social services will have to agree and they will be gone from out lives.

The problem is, because my ex has let the kids down so often, the social worker wants a meeting at school with the ex, both kids and myself to hammer out an arrangement for when she sees them.

My problem is this, We are still not allowed to see each other face to face and I am worried that i will be breaking the court order thus leaving myself open to the ex playing her games of trying to get me in trouble. The social worker said I am ok to have the meeting but I am not so sure. I dont have a solicitor for this, I cant get legal aid, the only help I can get is from internet fora like this one.

Can anyone please advise me if I should attend this meeting or would it be a clear breach of the undertaking made with the court.

Sorry for droning on, believe me I left a lot out and tried to keep to the basics but any advice would be massively appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

 

Hi Dimple,

 

Sorry to hear that your saga is still ongoing. I'm sure lots of posters will let you know how risky it is to be accepting any kind of advice from a forum. I am not a lawyer and I have no experience in the matter.

 

It did intrigue me though. I did a little bit of research and found some info that I didn't know. Seems that a non molestation order isn't like a restraining order. It doesn't seem to restrict meetings, but just restricts the tone/content of the meetings i.e. they can't be intimidating or harassing. Source for thiis info is here: http://childlawadvice.org.uk/tag/non-molestation-order/

 

This site also gives a brief overview: http://www.wbw.co.uk/faq/what-is-the-difference-between-an-injunction-and-a-non-molestation-order/

 

Without trying to pry, does the non-molestation order against you have any specific statements or clauses regarding meetings/chance encounters?

 

If you do go ahead with the meeting, you may want to ensure that you have a witness accompany you everywhere so that allegations of violence or intimidating behaviour can't be made against you (or if they are then they can be easily refuted).

 

I guess all of the above is the same info that you will have researched on your own... maybe someone with more specific knowledge and experience can help!

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I am not a lawyer and I have no experience in the matter.

 

Well I am an internet lawyer and I have plenty of experience putting my nose into other peoples' private affairs.

 

Your wife has triggered what we internet lawyers call an Article 50.

 

In the eyes of us internet lawyers, this is very bad news, because it will inevitably lead to what we internet lawyers call a Hard Brexit. The short-term consequences of this will be very severe, but the long-term effects are still unknown.

 

BEWARE - You'll get a lot of people claiming to be internet lawyers that tell you to ignore my doom-mongering, but these so-called internet lawyers don't have a clue about anything.

 

So I'm afraid that the short-term outlook is that you'll be hit financially, very very hard.

 

There is some good news though. Many, many years down the line, you'll regain control of your own destiny. That is, assuming you ever gave away control of your destiny in the first place. Chances are you didn't, but some folk will believe anything if it's written on the side of a bus in big letters, won't they?

 

And when your ex-wife sees how well you are doing outside of this toxic relationship, she will come crawling back to you, begging to make a trade-deal. However, you'll hold all the cards at that point, and you can make a deal strictly on your terms.

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One of the defences to a Breach of a Non Mol is 'reasonable excuse'

Get some paperwork from the Social Worker or whoever is arranging the RV and you've got a 'runner' if there's any comeback.

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Hi Dimple,

 

Sorry to hear that your saga is still ongoing. I'm sure lots of posters will let you know how risky it is to be accepting any kind of advice from a forum. I am not a lawyer and I have no experience in the matter.

 

It did intrigue me though. I did a little bit of research and found some info that I didn't know. Seems that a non molestation order isn't like a restraining order. It doesn't seem to restrict meetings, but just restricts the tone/content of the meetings i.e. they can't be intimidating or harassing. Source for thiis info is here: http://childlawadvice.org.uk/tag/non-molestation-order/

 

This site also gives a brief overview: http://www.wbw.co.uk/faq/what-is-the-difference-between-an-injunction-and-a-non-molestation-order/

 

Without trying to pry, does the non-molestation order against you have any specific statements or clauses regarding meetings/chance encounters?

 

If you do go ahead with the meeting, you may want to ensure that you have a witness accompany you everywhere so that allegations of violence or intimidating behaviour can't be made against you (or if they are then they can be easily refuted).

 

I guess all of the above is the same info that you will have researched on your own... maybe someone with more specific knowledge and experience can help!

Thank you for your reply. The links you provided were very helpful.

I did consider going to the meeting with a witness. I am keen to have the meeting as it will benefit the kids in the long term.

However, my problem is this. The ex is quite spiteful. Ill give you an example. Her relationship with our daughter is poor. Very poor infact. This pains me so ive been doing all I can to help improve it. I suggested that she (the ex) take a more active part in our daughter sports. I am building some facilities on the garden for our daughter next year. It will be getting done around April which will be after the non mol has expired so I suggested to my little girl that she asks her Mum to come over and help plan it out. I will do all the prep and building but I thought if Mum took part in planning it it would show our daughter that her mum cares and every time she used the facilities she would have a reminder.

Her Mum not only refused to help but she was verbally abusive towards myself and our daughter on the phone.

Then she phoned the police and made a report of domestic violence.

The police went to see her, took a statement but didnt follow it through but It just gives you an insight into what I am dealing with.

Regarding the meeting my worry is a simple one. I worry that the ex will just at some point decide to report me for breaking the court agreement. Technically by meeting her I will be breaking it. Even if I go to court and prove it was for a good reason I will still likely be arrested in the first instance before I am able to show it was for a valid reason.

The social worker is totally on her side and has a very low opinion of me. Despite the fact the kids tell her frequently how happy they are now things at home are better, calmer and more fun and despite the fact our daughters attendance, behavior and grades at school have all improved a lot.

It seems she has her opinion of me and come hell or high water she will prove I am no good. To be honest this in itself does not bother me. It just proves what an unprofessional individual she is but what does concern me is how she could back up the ex and say I was hostile, threatening or abusive just to make the 'facts' fit her opinion and validate her opinion of me.

 

---------- Post added 23-09-2017 at 21:37 ----------

 

Well I am an internet lawyer and I have plenty of experience putting my nose into other peoples' private affairs.

 

Your wife has triggered what we internet lawyers call an Article 50.

 

In the eyes of us internet lawyers, this is very bad news, because it will inevitably lead to what we internet lawyers call a Hard Brexit. The short-term consequences of this will be very severe, but the long-term effects are still unknown.

 

BEWARE - You'll get a lot of people claiming to be internet lawyers that tell you to ignore my doom-mongering, but these so-called internet lawyers don't have a clue about anything.

 

So I'm afraid that the short-term outlook is that you'll be hit financially, very very hard.

 

There is some good news though. Many, many years down the line, you'll regain control of your own destiny. That is, assuming you ever gave away control of your destiny in the first place. Chances are you didn't, but some folk will believe anything if it's written on the side of a bus in big letters, won't they?

 

And when your ex-wife sees how well you are doing outside of this toxic relationship, she will come crawling back to you, begging to make a trade-deal. However, you'll hold all the cards at that point, and you can make a deal strictly on your terms.

That made me :hihi:

 

---------- Post added 23-09-2017 at 21:38 ----------

 

One of the defences to a Breach of a Non Mol is 'reasonable excuse'

Get some paperwork from the Social Worker or whoever is arranging the RV and you've got a 'runner' if there's any comeback.

 

Thank you. Ill give that a go. Ill have to go to the Social workers manager though as the SW is not back at work until the day of the meeting.

Thank you again .

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A friend of mine (through no fault of his own) has social services sifting through his life.

There is a core group meeting, he has not been invited despite being the children's primary carer. The ex has been invited, the school has been invited but he has not.

I have told to him to seek legal advice as it seems the social worker is clearly favoring the word of his ex over his and the kids. When the kids give an opinion the SW says he is influencing them. When he gives and opinion the SW claims he is angry at the ex. When the ex gives an opinion it is taken as gospel despite her erratic and unstable behavior. He is in the process of submitting a formal complaint regarding the SW's behavior and I as a layman feel he has a good case. However I am worried about the fact that everyone other than him has bee included in a meeting regarding his kids and I am struggling when it comes to advising him. What are your thoughts? Is it normal for social workers to pick sides? Is it professional? Most importantly should he be worried?

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On such a serious question, maybe professional advice would be the solution, not a webby site forum, just saying.

 

Angel1.

 

Over the years I have found forumers advice to be very helpful, but on this subject I have a friend whose partner tried to get the house by accusing him of knocking her about. This nearly happened. She was caught out when she admitted to an aquintance that she had inflicted the injuries to herself.

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