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Trying to help my son find a better job

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My son has a job, but it's rubbish and he's capable of better.

The job centre weren't much help, he's not actually unemployed.

A national employment agency didn't seem interested, didn't ask about qualifications.

He doesn't have a degree, nor enough A levels to start one. (A level maths and AS physics.)

It's October, so too late to start many educational courses this year, besides, he's 21.

He speaks some Russian, but no other foreign languages.

He doesn't want to do a Tesol trainer course (I don't know why), or a degree (too costly, might need foundation year, 1.5 A level not enough), nor work in Sainsbury's/Tesco (not a big jump/not a career/no branch in Moscow...)

I'm retired, so I'm a bad example.

 

Any suggestions? Blue-sky thinking welcomed, we/I have thought of many options, but he might receive them better from an external agency, who could be more "neutral observers". And I'd welcome new ideas or "where to go" / ""these guys can help" etc.

Offers of employment for a smart lad with high numeracy skills also welcome.

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Here's my view, for what it's worth. Whilst I appreciate your feeling of 'I wish he could do better' I think the impetus has to come from him. I'm in a not dissimilar position - my son is in his middle twenties now and has worked a minimum wage (maybe ever so slightly higher now) job since he left college. It's not very demanding, demands little and has poor prospects for advancement.

Over time, I've come to the conclusion that he'll find something else if and when he wants to, but that for me to push him and moan at him achieves nothing. I suspect he like me and my father before me just isn't massively ambitious in terms of material wealth.

I worked as a psychiatric nurse for almost two decades and now in education for the last eight or so. I'm currently earning a reasonably good wage and get plenty of job satisfaction by virtue of a) having found something I really enjoy and am good at and b) by being lucky enough to have a great boss who saw past a lack of formal qualifications and decided to promote me.

Here's a thought - maybe what might really help is if he saved up a couple of thousand quid (or much less depending how brave he's feeling) and took off travelling for a year or so. It might well open him up to new ideas and experiences which could help shape his thoughts about what he wants to do and there's a not unreasonable chance he'll acquire a skill or meet someone that could lead directly into work.

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Here's my view, for what it's worth. Whilst I appreciate your feeling of 'I wish he could do better' I think the impetus has to come from him. I'm in a not dissimilar position - my son is in his middle twenties now and has worked a minimum wage (maybe ever so slightly higher now) job since he left college. It's not very demanding, demands little and has poor prospects for advancement.

Over time, I've come to the conclusion that he'll find something else if and when he wants to, but that for me to push him and moan at him achieves nothing. I suspect he like me and my father before me just isn't massively ambitious in terms of material wealth.

I worked as a psychiatric nurse for almost two decades and now in education for the last eight or so. I'm currently earning a reasonably good wage and get plenty of job satisfaction by virtue of a) having found something I really enjoy and am good at and b) by being lucky enough to have a great boss who saw past a lack of formal qualifications and decided to promote me.

Here's a thought - maybe what might really help is if he saved up a couple of thousand quid (or much less depending how brave he's feeling) and took off travelling for a year or so. It might well open him up to new ideas and experiences which could help shape his thoughts about what he wants to do and there's a not unreasonable chance he'll acquire a skill or meet someone that could lead directly into work.

 

In education for eight decades? You should be really clever by now. :)

Apologies to the OP.

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Thank you, halibut.

He's got enough money to go to Moscow again, having already been twice to stay with his girlfriend. I deliberately left out some details, in the interest of broader suggestions.

I see your point, I did something similar, working in a shop mending hifi, then computers, moved on to bigger companies because of a lucky break and people who saw what I could do, finally I retrained as a teacher. I just don't like to see him fed up with his current circumstances and I want to help, if I can.

 

And Jim, thanks for that! Made me smile.

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He may not know what he wants to do. I'm 41 and I'm no closer to working out what I'd like to do and what I could actually do and find that dream occupation in that sliver in the middle of that particular ven diagram.

 

But being fluent in Russian must be an asset for somebody somewhere. Maybe look a bit more in London?

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Thank you, tinfoilhat, hadn't thought of London. Not in a nice way, anyway!

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The building industry is tremendously short of qualified tradesmen especially electricians, plumbers and bricklayers. People think that a person has to have a degree to get a job but instead young people need to think about learning a trade instead.

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My son has a job, but it's rubbish and he's capable of better.

The job centre weren't much help, he's not actually unemployed.

A national employment agency didn't seem interested, didn't ask about qualifications.

He doesn't have a degree, nor enough A levels to start one. (A level maths and AS physics.)

It's October, so too late to start many educational courses this year, besides, he's 21.

He speaks some Russian, but no other foreign languages.

He doesn't want to do a Tesol trainer course (I don't know why), or a degree (too costly, might need foundation year, 1.5 A level not enough), nor work in Sainsbury's/Tesco (not a big jump/not a career/no branch in Moscow...)

I'm retired, so I'm a bad example.

 

Any suggestions? Blue-sky thinking welcomed, we/I have thought of many options, but he might receive them better from an external agency, who could be more "neutral observers". And I'd welcome new ideas or "where to go" / ""these guys can help" etc.

Offers of employment for a smart lad with high numeracy skills also welcome.

 

On the face of it, he should be looking at apprenticeships, but as others have said, if he doesn't want to/CBA, then it's either not going to happen, or happen half-heartedly, or he'll be unhappy.

 

If he's capable of better, and wants better then he'll make the effort. You can't make the effort for him.

 

Tremendously frustrating, I imagine. I have boys not quite that age, and they want to head to Uni, so naturally I want them to get on the best course they can in the subject they want. Do they make the best use of their time to achieve that? Nope.

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Thank you bargeboard, if only he'd try it, but he tends to say "I'm not qualified"

 

Pattricia, good points.

Good luck with the boys, too.

 

The lad's got an interview with a bank for a customer service job, tomorrow, that would be great if he manages to get it.

Edited by MrChemist

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My son has a job, but it's rubbish and he's capable of better.

The job centre weren't much help, he's not actually unemployed.

A national employment agency didn't seem interested, didn't ask about qualifications.

He doesn't have a degree, nor enough A levels to start one. (A level maths and AS physics.)

It's October, so too late to start many educational courses this year, besides, he's 21.

He speaks some Russian, but no other foreign languages.

He doesn't want to do a Tesol trainer course (I don't know why), or a degree (too costly, might need foundation year, 1.5 A level not enough), nor work in Sainsbury's/Tesco (not a big jump/not a career/no branch in Moscow...)

I'm retired, so I'm a bad example.

 

Any suggestions? Blue-sky thinking welcomed, we/I have thought of many options, but he might receive them better from an external agency, who could be more "neutral observers". And I'd welcome new ideas or "where to go" / ""these guys can help" etc.

Offers of employment for a smart lad with high numeracy skills also welcome.

 

Have you looked at the various jobs involving Russian / English translation? Some are full time but some offer free lance to he could try before deciding if its for him.

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Thank you bargeboard, if only he'd try it, but he tends to say "I'm not qualified"

 

Pattricia, good points.

Good luck with the boys, too.

 

The lad's got an interview with a bank for a customer service job, tomorrow, that would be great if he manages to get it.

 

If thats a counter-type position, having a second language has to be a help.

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My son has a job, but it's rubbish and he's capable of better.

The job centre weren't much help, he's not actually unemployed.

A national employment agency didn't seem interested, didn't ask about qualifications.

He doesn't have a degree, nor enough A levels to start one. (A level maths and AS physics.)

It's October, so too late to start many educational courses this year, besides, he's 21.

He speaks some Russian, but no other foreign languages.

He doesn't want to do a Tesol trainer course (I don't know why), or a degree (too costly, might need foundation year, 1.5 A level not enough), nor work in Sainsbury's/Tesco (not a big jump/not a career/no branch in Moscow...)

I'm retired, so I'm a bad example.

 

Any suggestions? Blue-sky thinking welcomed, we/I have thought of many options, but he might receive them better from an external agency, who could be more "neutral observers". And I'd welcome new ideas or "where to go" / ""these guys can help" etc.

Offers of employment for a smart lad with high numeracy skills also welcome.

 

If he has A level Maths and AS Physics, an apprenticeship in Engineering is certainly a viable option.

 

My only advice is, like said earlier in this thread, he has got to want to do this for himself. ATB.

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