Home brewed Listerine ..

As the need for fresh breath increases, so does the price of Listerine. It's sadly many times over the price of petrol now.

As a fresh breath addict, who smokes about 700 a day, I'm finding the prices surprisingly crippling. Gargling with petrol is not an option though (mainly due to the fire risks involved).

As such, I want to brew my own Listerine. It's green for starters, so common sense and rational deduction suggests to me it's got quite a lot of washing-up liquid in it ... I presume the rest's made up with melted Polo mints or toothpaste?

I'm thinking along the lines of a diesel based mouthwash, utilizing the power of extra strong mints (maybe Worther's Original) ... does this make sense to you? Diesel is surprisingly hard to ignite ... especially from a Bic lighter. This would obviously keep face and teeth explosions to a minimum.

Any suggestions as to what else I could put into my home-brewed Listerine ... let's not beat about the bush here ... I'm going to call it Alcoline.

Some pure alcohol from the chemist (for liquidness)

Mint essence what you use for baking and 17 melted polos (for flavour)

Washing up liquid (for colour, Asda smartprice one, dont want it to bubble up)

Baking powder (for teeth whitening)

That should do it

Just buy it from Home Bargains, cheaper there.

So many posts to answer to! I'd be befuddled to do it all in one!

To Leah-Lacie ... I'm unsure as to wether chem1st would supply cheap alcohol (don't worry ... I consider him as a friend).

To alcresearch ... I know you can get discount bargains on Listerine ... it just that it costs £17.50 to get to Home Bargains on the 52 from Crookes (unless you're buying in bulk ... in which case, the 52 becomes obsolete anyway ... unless 'upstairs' is aquatically sustainable. Hardly a bargain when all's said and done, and would make the 52 top heavy for going round corners. I'll go down the diesel route to be honest. Makes sense.

I may start producing 'Red Diesel Listerine' ('Alcoline') for fresh breath farming fanatics ... think there's a corner in the market there.

Oooh! ... I've just answered all the posts!

What about making your own vodka (a breath freshened on its own if mythbusters is to be believed) then add polos ? Diesel is too thick for effective mouth washing IMHO.

What about making your own vodka (a breath freshened on its own if mythbusters is to be believed) then add polos ? Diesel is too thick for effective mouth washing IMHO.

Constructive suggestion there Mr.Hat, but I'm sticking with the diesel ... four star at a push. (I did watch the 'Mythbusters' thing ... mainly because I like Kari )

I take onboard though what you're saying about the thickness of diesel ... I was thinking of going down the cellulose thinner route as an additive to bypass this problem. I fully realise this could have serious repercussions whilst trying to light a fag. Something I'll have to live with I'm afraid. My teeth aren't very good anyway, and I don't mind losing a few due to minor large explosions.

At the mo, I've got three petrol cans on the brew ... two containg a mixture of diesel, Worther's Original and Polo mints, and an experimental cask/petrol can, containing four star and Fishermen's Friends (In small dosages obviously ... I'm not stupid). I've run out of washing-up liquid though, so there's little chance It'll look like the proper Listerine.

I'm frankly not bothered though ... so long as I can kiss my G/F with impunity ... teeth or not.

You may(or may not)remember from a recent thread that The worst job I ever had was drilling the middles out of Trebor mints to make Polo mints.The only upside to this job was that when I left I was allowed to take with me the minty "swarf" residue in lieu of a settlement for unfair dismissal(another story!)

I have in my possession 128 Bournvita tins (8oz) of minty snippings to which you are very welcome.I don't know how much the bus fare would be to our house to collect them but I can't imagine it's as much as £17.50.That sounds to me like a down payment to BUY the bus!

You may(or may not)remember from a recent thread that The worst job I ever had was drilling the middles out of Trebor mints to make Polo mints.The only upside to this job was that when I left I was allowed to take with me the minty "swarf" residue in lieu of a settlement for unfair dismissal(another story!)

I have in my possession 128 Bournvita tins (8oz) of minty snippings to which you are very welcome.I don't know how much the bus fare would be to our house to collect them but I can't imagine it's as much as £17.50.That sounds to me like a down payment to BUY the bus!

Once again, you spring to the forefront of mankindliness Mr.Teeth. I congratulate you!. I also understand your grief ... I used to have to drill the holes in washers. Didn't even have a vice ... lost the majority of my fingers. Some have grown back thankfully and my thumbs work again after major re-constructive surgery and anti-rejection drugs ... 'prehensile' is pretty important in my books.

I'm pretty tempted by the Bournvita offer, although I've just (today) clinched a deal on six tubes of Menthadent (with stripes). I feel this may work well with the diesel, due to opacity factors.

I'll bear it in mind though if the deal falls through.