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Everything posted by Fareast

  1. Echos of the old Max Miller joke, " I 've been married for 40 years now......and I 'm still in love with the same woman. If the wife finds out, she 'll kill me ".
  2. Some time ago there was a heated discussion in the media about the motivation of female ' high flyers ' vis-a-vis male high flyers and whether females lacked aggression [ in general ] in the business rat-race. During the last few months I 've noticed a definite pattern connected to this topic. In almost every edition of ' Mastermind ' and ' University Challenge ' there seems to be 3 male contestants to every 1 female. Obviously to be entered for either contest does not require brawn or brute strength-------so I genuinely wonder what the reason is ? Also, I 've been playing chess on-line and 'over the board' for 60 years now and noticed roughly the same situation as above. There are some brilliant lady chess players [e.g. the Polgar sisters from Hungary ] but compared to the number of men and the quality of play, they are few and far between. Comments please !
  3. This could only happen in an infantile country like the one Britain has become ! Our nicks are bursting at the seams with every kind of offender one can imagine and we 're asked to consider the question of smoking in prison ! Deckchairs ? Titanic ?....... A bucket of water ? The Great Fire of London ? Well, I suppose it 'll give the control freaks something to do........
  4. I wish the unemployment figures would increase by at least four, i.e. The Cameroon, Osborne, Balls-up & Milimetre. They could then perhaps pass the time by forming a sort of Punch & Judy show ? After all, they 've had plenty of practice at our expense.
  5. Only in the UK could Prescott, Mandelson, Hull and Culture be mentioned in the same paragraph. What on earth next ? Rotherham, Johnathen Wosspot, Diane Abbott ? Barnsley, Ed Millimetre, Boy George ? Ee, by gum, whatever next ?
  6. I wonder how old the hostages were ? Perhaps his wife, of a similar age and wife 's boyfriend ?[ " Now come on, Hank, put that gun down and have a nice cup of cawfee.........if you don 't mind, I wanna finish knitting these socks for your mother. " ] Whatever, I hope I have the energy left, if I live to be 107 years-old to pick up a gun , never mind have a shoot-out with the Old Bill.
  7. Is the country full up ? Well, hang on a minute ; as soon as I get this bloke's elbow out of the way, I 'll try and answer that. There 's 3 of us squashed up in this hospital bed [ no details, sorry ] and mealtimes are a nightmare. We saw a doctor last week. He didn 't have time to speak or anything-----we just saw him. My kids were coming to visit me this evening but they're on the night shift at school this week. They say a woman in the neighbouring ward nearly suffocated 2 days ago on a bus and Heathrow 's gridlocked again. I can 't understand all this overcrowding. Why don 't a few million go and live on Dartmoor or the Lake District ? Too selfish to ' up-sticks ' I suppose.
  8. The really interesting question is------why or how have educational standards fallen so far in the last 40 years or so ? Also, to widen the question-----why have a lot of other standards fallen too ? Is it merely that special, mysterious ' X ' factor that pushes countries and empires up to a higher level ? Or, conversely drags them down ? I bet people thought the Roman Empire would last for ever. Our country once seemed to have every advantage-----a literate population, compact, temperate climate, minerals on and off-shore and, generally international respect. Now we definitely seem to be on the slide ! Education is just part of the decline. Watched t.v. recently ? Oh, well, it was nice whilst it lasted, I suppose ?
  9. Well, AndrewC, a complicated subject-------but to put it at its very simplest, I think that the people largely in charge of the UK, will not admit that we have some serious problems in the UK which are getting worse. This means they can carry blithely on without having to deal with the problems. Meanwhile, the majority, the rest of us, who are not making the rules are standing by, looking on at all the corruption, incompetence, stupidity, crime and infantile culture. Maybe......maybe....one day, there will be a reversal but unfortunately it 's usually power-hungry bureaucrats who make the rules and they are very entrenched at the moment. By ' Hand-Wringers ' and ' Do-Gooders ' I meant those people who feel that we must never offend anyone in the course of imposing discipline, respect, honesty, stamping out violence......etc.....etc.....and that of course makes curing the problems almost impossible.
  10. The downhill trend has been going on in Sheffield and in the UK for about 50 years.......but.....the Hand-Wringers and Do-Gooders will simply not open their eyes or their minds to it. They seem to believe that there is always ' progress '-----which flies in the face of historical evidence. Countries and Empires can and do deteriorate. I 'm afraid the UK is deteriorating fast ! Sadly, it 's probably too late to do much about it now [ short of sending all the scum off to a UK-style Alcatraz ]. I 'm just glad my remaining years are not being spent in Sheffield or any other UK city. Good Luck everybody and Rule Britannia !
  11. Bangs ? Fireworks ? It might be people enjoying themselves. Now that 's not really allowed in Sheffield unless the Elf & Safety Goblins have it under complete control. Where do these people think they are ? Abroad ? On the other hand if it was properly organised as a Firework Pride Parade............
  12. There was a very strange story doing the rounds about 40 or 50 years ago------to the effect that as robots and computers became more widespread, everyone would need to work fewer hours and thus have more time for the finer things in life. [ Broadly speaking----more time to pursue Culture ]. Everyone would be working around 20 or 30 hours a week-----the work would be evenly spread out, so to speak. Something has gone sadly wrong with this fine plan----to say the very least ! Now, we 've got millions of people dashing around all day like loonies on speed----always at the beck and call of their mobile or laptop ; other poor saps are commuting about 3 or 4 hours a day to some soulless London or inner-city office. Meanwhile, millions of others are slumped at home on the settee, watching Big Brother and cookery programmes. It was also predicted in days of yore that by now we 'd have an almost paper-less society. THAT must be the biggest joke of all time !
  13. Of course it will benefit almost everybody ! e.g. if you're a factory worker or a retired person, living in the North, by about 2025 [ ? ] you 'll be able to get to London 30 minutes quicker---provided of course that you 've saved up a bit of cash to pay the return fare, there 's no snow on the line, the system isn 't snarled up or the rail staff aren 't on strike. Anyway, instead of having High Tea in the Ritz, you could be having a Late Lunch instead ! And think of the joys of an extra half hour in London with its multi-faceted delights---muggings, pick-pocketing, druggies and drunks, petrol fumes and a sense of excitement round every corner ! We know that only in big countries can fast trains save a lot of time and that nowadays lots of important businessmen work from home or link up from their offices ; we also know that the Channel Tunnel rail cost was originally estimated at 1 billion pounds .........but actually cost 11 billion pounds. But, so what ?? This great country of ours, full of happy, ambitious people MUST keep up with every other country in every way. As a bonus, people from Sheffield would be whizzing past the Midlands, often in dark tunnels, and wouldn 't have to look very long at untidy back gardens or the back of ugly factories. Rule Britannia !!
  14. Well, what 's 80 billion to our wonderful, wise politicians and civil servants......etc........? Mind you it would be a bit cheaper [ and more accurate ? ] to let them do their estimating and calculations with a biro and a beermat.
  15. The Soviet system may have ended about 20 years ago------true----but has anyone told the Sheffield Council Holidayma------oops, sorry, I mean ' delegates ' of course.
  16. Well, the wastrels and squanderers needn 't worry [ Did they ever ! ]. The stout yeomen of S. Yorkshire will, surely, carry on voting in the same old parties, the same old faces.......as they have been doing blindly for around 90 years now. Trebles all round !
  17. It 's hard to imagine that these days anyone DOESN 'T know about drug smuggling and its penalties ; someone would have to be blind, deaf and daft and have lived in remote Greenland all their lives not to be aware of the dangers. Perhaps these latest ' victims ' are just lucky they 're not in the Saudi judicial system ?
  18. I remember what most of the previous posters have mentioned. Also, as far as I remember we had to go to a small clinic on Leopold Street for our medical, just near the junction of Orchard Lane [ ? ]-------anyway, bang opposite the main entrance to the Grand Hotel. This would be around 1956.
  19. I get a bit cheesed off with all the ' experts ' telling us what 's going to happen with the economy. There are so many imponderables and unknowns in the equation, that the best they can do is to make a [ sort of ] intelligent guess. Hence the Wall Street crash and all our recent economic set-backs. There were so many ' experts ' dishing out their opinions that no-one seemed to predict anything very accurately. It 's exactly the same with Global Warming [ and its alleged horrors ] and predicting our future life-styles. Remember the ' paperless office ' when many 'experts' said that computers would do away with the need for paper ? Somebody sure dropped a clanger there ! Immigration statistics, elections, large-scale project costs...........you name it, the 'experts' invariably get it wrong.Cheaper to buy a crystal ball or look your future up in the astrology column in the Sun.
  20. Shanes teeth-----SO, it was YOU who was picking my nose ! I 'm a bit short-sighted and just assumed it was a fly or a beetle .....or something. I won 't mention what was picked next as this is a respectable Family Forum [ or it WAS ].
  21. Wine !! Music in a field !! This is South Yorkshire, NOT Glastonbury or Chelsea !
  22. Ee by gum, 'as Yoorkshire Day cum round agin ? Well, A 'll g 'to our 'ouse ! Same fur me, this year------big bowl o ' tripe an' cowheel an 9 pints o wallop dahn at t' local. Kid's birthday tudday......burra din 't gerrim owt. Kids er too spoilt these days an' cost a fortune ! When I were 'is age........................................
  23. Electerrific-----Just as a matter of interest, exactly which of your parts do you think of as ' private ' ? A lot may be hanging on your answer. Then again, it could be just a little ?
  24. Well, it wasn 't me picking my nose in Costa today........but I did scratch my bottom, belch and also emitted wind once or twice [ pickled onions from last night ]. Hope this didn 't spoil your coffee and sandwich ? Not your day, is it, really ?
  25. I 'd guess you more or less HAVE to be an alcoholic to want to go and live in New Zealand.
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