maidinsheff

Actually, I was complaining about 'Ignorant 4x4 Drivers' not all of them.

I have just walked to North Anston as First Bus say they are operating on main routes only. No joy. No buses anywhere. On the way there I was passed by a 4x4 driver, I stepped off the road (which I was walking on as the pavements are buried under 27 inches of snow around here) to allow him to pass and the smug pig didn't even have the decency to slow down. I was splattered with filthy black sludge and my jeans are soaked through. I have had to walk back home to get changed. What gives them permission to treat other people with such contempt?

Anyone read the book Secrets of Hightower by M G Naylor? This was self-published via Matador/Troubador press and unfortunately it shows. The proof-reading and editing is very poor - which is sad as it could be a really good read. It needed sharpening up to take it from mediocre to excellent. Still, the guy is in print - which is more than I am. He's from Chesterfield by the way, and now lives in Sheffield. (Ooer hope he's not a SWG member and is reading this!)

Hi ShirleyF Just one small observation - do you mean pro's or prose? MIS

Hi Dave - nice to meet someone who loves the classics as well. I can't stand most of the tripe that is on offer these days - I'm often told that my writing style is 'old fashioned' and I always take that as a compliment (even though I know it isn't meant as one).

No No No! Your original piece was tons better. I loved the rawness of it. I was a little confused at first but then the words grabbed me and I understood what was going on and dreaded where it was going. I felt like the eleven year old - helpless and on a roundabout that she couldn't stop or get off. I could hear the child in the first rough draft. In the redone version you seem to be outside looking in and it's an adults voice speaking. My daughter is an actor/singer/dancer and I could just envisage your first draft being performed on stage by a group of young people - it was excellent - please don't spoil it by trying to follow some rigid rules re how a poem should be set out - the beauty of poetry for me is that anything goes and its how the poem affects the reader that is most important not how it is set out or whether or not it rhymes properly loved it - a REAL diamond!

Hi Mantaspook I would really appreciate some feed back from you for the first chapter of the book I am attempting to write. It's aimed at the 10-12 year old market (and at grown-ups like me who love reading kids books). I'm trying to keep away from the Capn Underpants, farty Knickers, full frontal snogging ilk and create something that will last beyond the latest fad. Hope you can spare the time. Thanks MIS

Here's something I have been working on for too long and have become very disillusioned with - any comments (particularly encouraging ones) would be most welcome. http://sheffieldwriters.ath.cx/SFStoryArchive/1289939679.doc

Hi Ron I have read your story but think I need to re-read it more thoroughly - unfortunately I sort of sussed out the ending fairly quickly which spoiled it for me and had me skipping forward to see if I was right, which I was. I'm not sure that the argument works - there doesn't seem to be any real build up to the nastiness and the sudden 'wedding's off'! It all feels a bit too flimsy. I'll have another go and see if I feel any differently. Maybe a more unpredictable ending would help! MIS

Hi Coyleys - oh dear! Have I really driven you to drink

Hi Mantaspook Thank you very much for your comments and encouragement. I agree with your recommendations and have amended the story. Actually, I was tempted to make it clear that the 'aliens' were telepathic but thought that this would be too much of a cliche. I will give it another think. I would be interested to know what other folk think but only a drunken Coyleys has responded so far!

I liked this poem but feel it is too cumbersome. I don't think it is too light-hearted put it needs to be punchy - maybe cropping some of the longer lines would help. I'm not a poet by the way but I enjoy reading poetry. Maidinsheff

Here's the link to my short story inspired by November's 'Ticking Clock' theme Clockwork.

Sounds good - although 500-1000 words only is a bit tight

From a day in the office where crap versus **** to a crawl on the Parkway c/o 'snail-paced git!' to a cold house that's been wrecked by the dog once again and a bill from NPower I am going INSANE...... I switch on the laptop coffee in hand and wonder what else my tormentors have planned 'Goodbye Cruel World' sounds right up my street A poem by Sir Nigel and I'm in for a treat Brilliant, I loved it! Clever stuff. Just the tonic I needed. ........now where did I put the gin?

Years ago, I was a member of a writer's group whose leader was obsessed with James Joyce's Ulysses. He enthused about it so much that I went out and bought it and sat down to enjoy what I was assured would be the best and most influential book ever written and that I would ever encounter. So after an hour of trying...... I'm thinking...... Er.......I'm not getting this...... am I stupid or something? Seems more like self-indulgent drivel to me. The group leader had spouted that it was a book that 'defied summary'.....well let me summarise. It is about as interesting as watching paint dry and Molly Bloom's inane ramblings, which are laughingly referred to as a 'soliloquy' (Shakespeare must have turned in his grave), had me scanning forward for a full stop so that I could comfortably fall asleep before reaching it. Joyce seems to have been totally hung up on Greek Mythology - perhaps seeking glory by association? Ulysses is the only book (and books are precious to me) I have ever chucked in the bin along with the cat litter and vegetable peelings. The only influence Joyce had over me was the decision to stop wasting my time at that writer's group and to avoid his works like the plague. And is it me or does anyone else find the Harry Potter books bloody boring........formulaic..........zzzzzzzzz.....snore

Hello World - thanks to my wonderfully geeky son I now have a working laptop - it is a really old one which he had with him at university as a museum piece! He has got it to work and has managed to get it to connect to the internet. It is happy with a remote mouse (it has one of those blinking thumb mice things in the middle of the keyboard which no longer works) but it won't accept a remote keyboard. This is only a nuisance as its own keyboard is missing several keys. However, so long as I don't need a figure eight, an asterisk, a pound sterling sign, a hash mark and one or two others that don't seem to respond I can start work again! How fitting that this month's theme should be Crash! But do I want to re-live the experience?

Here is the draft of my dragon themed story - didn't get to finish it or edit it etc because of the laptop disaster. It does have a happy ending and the dragon escapes and lives happily ever after. http://sheffieldwriters.ath.cx/SFStoryArchive/1284205335.doc

Hi Guys My laptop died on me! I switched it on and nothing happened. It was perfectly fine the evening before and then it was dead. Of course all my writing, my OU work, my family history were all on the hard disk which was now inaccessible. I have my work in hard copy but it wasn't backed up anywhere else and all my other stuff wasn't backed up at all. My laptop has been my trusted companion for nearly 8 years so you can imagine how much stuff was on there. I felt suicida. I have just finished my first novel and there it was gone! Fortunately for me, it was the motherboard that had died and not the hard disk and I have a geeky 20 year old for a son who was able to talk me through (over the internet and using a webcam) how to attach my laptop's hard drive to my daughter's pc and rescue all my work. I now have it backed up on a flash drive. Now I am bereft. I have no money for a new laptop and only limited access to my daughter's pc. Like all teenagers she is addicted to facebook and practically lives her life online. I had started a piece of writing for the August project but haven't been able to finish it. I will post the bit I managed to do before the disaster later. What I am trying to say is for goodness sake make sure all your work is backed up somewhere - it cost me £8 for a 16Gb flash drive and I can't begin to tell you how it feels to know that I haven't lost all that work - years and years worth of the stuff!

It's such a pity then that they didn't teach English at your school. Obviously, with such a superior IQ you didn't deign to learn it. I am so glad I am not where you are from. Please don't lower yourself to reply - I've already split my sides laughing at your stupidity!

oops picked up the wrong message to reply to - apologies

You can still get Burdalls Gravy Salt - they sell it at Morrisons.

Hi Repunzel I enjoyed reading your script and it flowed very well. What I didn’t get was any feel for the different characters as they all seemed to be very similar. There are rules about the correct layout for scripts and these are different for plays, film and radio scripts. For plays, the recommendations are: Put a cast list at the start of the play and include essential information for each character, eg SARA – Middle-aged housewife. Mother of two young children CHRIS – Sara’s ex-husband. Male chauvinist nearing the big four ‘O’ Use 12 point type and a clear font (eg Times New Roman) Give clear scene headings and numbers (if used) in bold type or underlined with concise details of setting and time, eg SCENE 1 ACT 1 Late afternoon - four adults seated around dining table. Sun can be seen shining through open door and windows. Noise of children playing in garden beyond Use single-line spacing with continuous sections of dialogue and stage directions Leave a clear space between speaker’s name and dialogue. Speaker’s name should be in capitals followed by a colon. MAN: What do you think you are doing? BOY: Minding me own business. Dialogue should not appear under the speaker’s name but in a separate column Put shorter stage directions in brackets within the dialogue, you don’t need to start these with a capital letter or have end punctuation. You shouldn’t overdo the stage directions as the Director and actors would want to be able to use their own imagination. Also you need to use stage directions for when people move off or around the stage: SL – stage left (ie actor’s left when facing the audience, SR – stage right, DS – downstage (to the front of the stage) etc so (SARA exits SL) and not ‘Sara exits room and dinner getting cold’ – the ‘dinner getting cold’ is irrelevant. The physical appearance of a script is important and if it isn’t laid out correctly then it will probably not be considered worth reading. Agents are horribly pedantic people. They are only interested in making money and not in nurturing talent. Believe me – been there done that and have the scars to prove it! Like everyone else I find it difficult to criticise other people’s work. I am always worried about offending other writers. I hope the above helps. There is lots of stuff on the internet about script writing – trouble is most of it is confusing and contradictory. It may be worthwhile buying scripts for plays and looking at their layout.

Here's what came into my head for the August topic. I wanted to have a lay in this morning but my brain had other ideas http://sheffieldwriters.ath.cx/SFStoryArchive/1281257613.doc

Hi Coyleys and Ron Maybe I should have put 'A perfect sky on an imperfect day.' so thanks for picking up on that. The Nazi's kept everything low key and inviting during the early days of the holocaust - people actually thought they were being taken to new lives, accommodation, work etc, anyone who was the least bit suspicious was taken to one side and dealt with out of view of the rest of the people - a single bullet to the brain from a low calibre fire-arm. I did also think about adding to the 'warehouse' scene by having a rumour spread amongst the crowd about there being showers to look forward to.