olliefrancis

“Showcasing creativity in Sheffield; working together for a better world.” Music, Art and Spoken Word showcase. Free monthly event, last Sunday of the month at Riverside Live (formerly The Riverside) from 5-8pm. Come along, enjoy a beer on a lazy Sunday evening and see some homegrown Sheffield talent! Find out more at www.voxsheffield.com

Good ideas. I like the suggestion about the handshake. Thanks.

Nope, you're absolutely right. I was trying to use some kind of stereotype for their characters so that I could pay more attention to Ted. I didn't want to create too strong characters for them as I thought this might take the attention away from our elderly hero, so they just became a kind of mish mash of my own preconceptions etc. I might have gone a little too far if they became a distraction. I'll try to think a little harder about my 'set piece' characters on the next story and see if it works. Thanks for the help Ron Blanco! Really appreciate it. More please!

Hi folks, Been a member for a couple of months, but only just got around to posting anything. Ooops! I'm an English teacher, productivity freak and lover of green tea. Stick me in a well stocked kitchen and I'll be happy all day... Writers: Douglas Coupland Khaled Hosseini Audrey Niffenegger Niccolo Machiavelli

Brilliant. I love the normality of the coughs and twitches. 'feigning minor illness'. Wonderful observational humour.

This month's story - and my first submission. Much critical feedback appreciated: this was fun, but I want to get better. -Ollie Ted's Mistake.

To everyone in the Sheffield Writing Group, Some friends of mine are setting up a new arts night at the Riverside Pub with a focus on making connections between the arts in Sheffield on a grass roots level. If anyone is interested in having any of your monthly short stories, or any other work you might have, presented at the night, you can contact me at ollie@voxsheffield.com for a slot. It's a free night and should draw a really friendly crowd. We put on three nights in 2008, but it's now going monthly. Have a look at voxsheffield.com if you might be interested. Next night is Sunday the 31st May. The Riverside bar is at 1 Mowbray Street, Neepsend, S3 8EL, Tel 0114 2813621. Here is their WEBSITE and also a MAP

Wonderful. I love the comical ending! Laught out loud moment. Well done.

Thought it was a great story. Loved the twist - genuinely didn't see it coming! Only a couple of suggestions. beady eyes - dark eyes? small eyes? or even just 'eyes'? It's a bit cliched otherwise. repetition of 'gruesome' check apostrophes check comma use between subordinate and main clauses Could the 'officers' be looking for how the old lady could have got hold of such a terrible piece of equipment, rather than a motive? Mice might be fairly clued up that humans don't particularly like them(!) Haven't made enough time to write up my own story so I feel a bit of a hypocrite for nit-picking. But I did really enjoy reading it. Thanks for sharing it, Nerd! Well done!

Yes. Light just falls into them. It's like watching skinny black holes walking around the room. P.S. If you are a Millionaire and were thinking of writing me into your will, then I am deeply, deeply sorry - you looked fabulous.

Better to take the trip out to Hathersage. The Champaign Bar and Grill is a little too pretentious for my liking. And the lighting is ghastly - felt like I was trapped in a glowing blue box with no windows.

Piccolinos for best chain restaurant - if not best overall (I'm sorry all of you local supporters!) If you want good local Italian style food, Casanova in Crookes is well established and run by people with very authentic sounding accents. The food is not as good as before they refurbished the place (strange that it now looks better but doesn't quite hit the same taste mark), but it is still one of the best in the area.

The best Italian style restaurant in Sheffield is Piccolinos by the peace gardens. I know it's a chain, but i have also tried others of the brand, including their flagship in London, and the Sheffield restaurant is in a league of its own. It's all down to the managment - there is an excellent young manager there who is always on top of everything and keeps his staff happy to serve you - there is one guy who can sell you a desert like no-one else I have ever seen.

Dam House: last time I was there it took 55 minutes for them to bring out a bowl of chips. I asked for them twice and then complained and they decided to do nothing about it. No free drink offers, no 'would you like to see the manager'; just a quick sorry and then away again. I am a fickle customer. I have not been back since.

Tapas will still be available in the bar, although they say that it is going to be a much more 'authentic' Spanish style finger food selection. If you want something to fill up on, get something from the restaurant menu. Anyone know when it opens?