Teekins

Yeah, I'm on the mini pill but my concerns were actually the other way round - I definately do want more babies, probably with one coming at the end of next year, so I don't want to be over-contraception-ised!! Thanks for all your interesting replies - it's really good to know there are others out there doing it. It's such a shame that it's not more widely talked about or seen. I saw an article on This Morning the other day on which it was reported that 75% of women BF at birth and only 2% carry on beyond 6 months. 2%!!! What a shame!! My four best friends and I have all BF beyond the 6 months mark so I hope that we have upped the statistics...in Sheffield at least!!

That's nice of you to say, babychickens and a shame you are working! Vanessa, a total of 5 children is surely a playgroup! If you're house is big enough, as mine unfortunately isn't, perhaps we could do half a day each? You could get an afternoon to yourself and I could have the morning to sleep after a night-shift...

That's good news, actually... Not ready for bambino two just yet but certainly want one in the future and wouldn't want breastfeeding to prevent that! Babychickens you are the voice of reason as ever! Perhaps if I have two children they will look after each other, thus negating the need for childcare?!?! And one final question... (my book's not arrived yet!) If an older baby or toddler chooses to feed sporadically, ie twice a day for a couple of days and then a couple of days with no BF, then back on again, will the breast milk dry up? Not a chance of this at the moment with a poorly babyT comfort feeding any chance she can get!

Thanks for your reply, Hennypenny! Wow - 4.5 years! How often did you breastfeed beyond the 2 year mark? Did you breastfeed in public? Did you tandem breastfeed/breastfee during a subsequent pregnancy? Questions, questions! Another general question for anyone who knows the answer: Of course we know that breastfeeding up to 6 months can reduce the chances of pregnancy but not remove them. If you are still BF a child of 2, say, are the odds of getting pregnant still lower?

Just realised it may be off-putting for some people considering childcare-sharing to read I am a student, so just a bit more about me: I am a mature student having started University after working for the NHS for 6 years. I am studying Biomedical Science at Sheffield University and intend to study Midwifery after I graduate. I have been a Beaver Scout Leader in Crosspool for 2.5 years and prior to that was a Rainbow Guide Leader for 3 years. I live in the Hunters Bar area with my 11 month old daughter and fiance. If anyone is interested in sharing childcare I would suggest we both have CRB checks done and visit each other's homes, meet the children, etc. I hope that makes this idea sound a bit more appealing, or at least trustworthy!

Thanks so much for all of these replies - it's good to know there are some other like-minded people out there! I have bought the 'Mothering a Toddler' book which I am looking forward to reading as it also comes highly recommended by Amazon, as well as yourselves. The following sites which you suggested have been excellent: La Leche League Association of Breastfeeding Mothers (this one was particularly helpful) Baby Cafe However it seems that, apart from the LLL meetings in Penistone there are no Sheffield-based groups for breastfeeders of older babies and toddlers. Would anyone like to meet up informally, perhaps in the city centre?

Has anyone out there done it/is doing it? Baby Teekins is approaching 11 months and I'm intending to carry on BF, providing she still wants it, beyond 12 months. No idea yet as to when I will stop/she will stop of her own accord but I can't find any books at all about breastfeeding toddlers (is a 12 month old a toddler??) - I'm a prolific book-reader as I like to be armed with all the facts. Plus it would be good to have the facts to hand in case I encounter negative attitudes from the public/family/friends! I wondered if anyone had had any issues with public BF, how often you have had to BF your older child (ie when they wisen up to it, do they demand superfluous BF's as well as the necessary 3/day?) Does anyone combine BF with cows milk feeds? Any info/advice/anecdotes gratefully received!!! Thanks x

Hi! Does anyone need any childcare this summer? I am a student with one daughter and I need to work this summer. Baby Teekins is in nursery for 2 - 4 sessions (half days) a week but I need another day's-worth of childcare so I can work part time. Tryng to cut down on costs... would anyone like to share childcare, ie I look after your child/ren for, say, a day per week and you look after mine for the same amount of time? Look forward to hearing from you!

Babyboo, many nurseries hire out their large rooms at weekends for parties, etc. The University of Sheffield nursery on Brunswick Street (where Babytee goes) hires out a large room, adjacent to a kitchen, toilet and outside playground with use of indoor soft-play equipment and piano for £25 for 2 hours - bargain! Last time I went to a parent's evening there we all had a lovely glass of wine so there's obviously no problem if you want to toast baby-babyboo's first year in the world (within reason, presumably!)

It's a tricky one, certainly! By the way, Cyclone, what does AFAIK mean??!!

As always, I agree with all you have written, Babychickens! It is a tricky one but there are indeed some very good reasons why in some cases grandparents should be granted legal access to their grandchildren (for child safety reasons, etc.) However I do think that it could become problematic in 'normal' households where for legitimate reasons the parents do not want the grandparents to have any kind of relationship/more than average contact with the grandchildren. Of course by granting legal rights of access to one set of grandparents, the floodgates are opened and the legalities applicable to all! So next week, politics, prostitution and paedophilia...! Let's debate 'em all!!

Has anyone seen this in the news today? Well, I'm assuming GMTV counts as news (it certainly does when you're on maternity leave!) A group of grandparents have established a support/campaign group to help other grandparents gain legal rights of access to their grandchildren - in one example the grandparents won their case (their son's partner had refused access after the demise of their marriage.) Us Forumers had such varied views on my previous thread 'Access to Grandparents' which discussed the average/reasonable visitation schedules of grandparents/grandchildren and I was interested in what people thought of this. As you can imagine I would be absolutely horrified at the thought that my in-law's parents would be able to take us to court to gain access to baby teeky. She is our daughter and although I share many of the Forumers views that the relationship between grandchild and grandparent can be beneficial, warm, memorable, special, etc, it certainly is not a right. I am sure this thread will start an interesting conversation!!

Wow! What a response! Thanks as always, Forumers for providing such a diverse range of answers - food for thought indeed. All of the points made are clearly very valid and I obviously knew that this thread would show up feelings far left or far right of my own. I must respond to some of the points made... bear with me: Babychickens - make no apologies for being active on this thread. In my absence you have EXACTLY described and defended my stance on this. In particular your comment that if anything is to split you and your husband up it would be your in-laws rings true at this end. I too, since early pregnancy, have kept the whole extended family (both sides) involved by sending copies of scans, photo's, texts after each MW/HV appointment, 1st tooth, etc which amounts to more than once a week at times, on top of the weekly general phonecall I have with all parties. I agree, BabyC, that weekends certainly aren't restful and in fact do help to 'gear you up' for the week ahead. It's also a lovely time to watch Baby interact with her Dad, this time of course being precious as he is at full tme work during the week. Em2007 - you asked if I didn't get on with the in-laws. On the contrary, we've enjoyed many a lovely evening together. As is the cliche, however, the in-law grandmother has a touch of the green-eyed monster now Baby is here. I have a sense that she feels she has lost her son to his wife and, as a particularly broody individual, she feels that somehow this time is her second chance at motherhood. There have been comments (via my partner, of course) about them missing Baby's first sitting up unaided, her first big bath, her first meal! Surely it is agreed that those events are for the parent's to view and regale via conversation to the rest of the family? Em2007 - you also suggest letting Baby stay overnight on her own every 2 weeks. Breastfeeding is a slight, though not unsurmountable issue currently but like BabyC said, in-law would be happiest if I was out of the picture altogether so I'm reluctant - at this stage - to give them full reign overnight. I am sure my confidence at letting her go will come over time though. This covers lisaH's suggestion that I allow my partner to take Baby over own his own, I think. Last time I 'allowed' that they'd planted all sorts of idea's in his head about teething remedies, feeding (Baby is vegetarian like me but, as you can imagine, in-laws are none-too-pleased) and how Baby is small for her age (compared to her larger niece. I am only 5'2" myself though!) Cosywolf - you make the excellent point that extended family is only a positive thing. I have a wonderful sister who has looked after Baby for full days as needed, a brother and step-brother who also spend time with her and a Nana who dotes on her. I also have my own parents as I mentioned. Fitting in quality time for all of these people to spend with my daughter AND managing to spend time together as a family is absolutely exhausting. Someone made the point that perhaps my own parents feel they'd like to spend more time with Baby - yes, they do, but they have also always made it clear they have their own lives to lead and so when we get together it is often 6 weeks since the last time, simply because that is the first available weekend where we're all free. And finally (sorry again for the length of this thread but I did want to respond to all of these interesting comments) Minesadouble suggested that Baby could grow up hardly knowing her grandparents if only seeing them once a month. Is this really true? I saw my own grandparents once every 2 months or so throughout childhood and have an excellent, close relationship with both.

God, isn't it awful! During yet another row with my partner about it he said he'd have never had the baby if he'd have realised all the hassle of grandparents that came with it... and for a split second I agreed! Just want to live my life with my gorgeous daughter and it feels as though it's being ruined. Shame the old cliches about Mothers-in-Law are true!

How often do your children see their grandparents? What is a reasonable amount of time/visits per month, etc? I have an 8 month old daughter and we, as a family unit, live very independent and busy lives with activities every day, a good routine and lovely weekends together. I have divorced parents, both sets of whom keep in touch but do not impose themselves on us at all. We probably see them about every 6 weeks or so for lunch or the occasional over-nighter. Despite this infrequency we are fairly close and speak on the phone more than once a week and they are always delighted to hear/read texts about baby's progress. The paternal grandparents, however, are putting increasing pressure on us to visit more often. This all started when I was pregnant when I was near-suffocated by them (they are very well-meaning but overbearing considering I am not used to seeing the extended family so often) and their suggestions of staying with us for a week after I had given birth (I nipped this in the bud!) and of providing regular weekly childcare (although I know this works for some people I am absolutely against family childminders and prefer Nursery School, though this is a different story!) were insensitive and unwanted. Since the birth we have seen them [paternal grandparents] roughly every 3 weeks, with half of those visits being borne of some ludicrous excuse, eg didn't want to post a birthday card in case it got lost, etc, however the pressure to see them more often is now immense and my partner is doing little to divert this, saying that he is in the difficult position of being in the middle. This is causing problems between us as a couple. I, rather generously I thought, offered them total use of the last saturday of each month (which is far more security than my parents have been offered) but they have told my partner that they want to drive over every week for an hour to see baby in addition to the saturday. Firstly it will never be just an hour, will it. Secondly I absolutely don't want to commit to this level of regularity and thirdly my daughter and I, and my partner, have a wonderful routine and very much are enjoying finding our own way as a new family. How on earth can I resolve this issue??? I imagine the only way is if I speak to the paternal grandparents myself and lay down the law (nicely but firmly) since my partner is not doing the job properly but I fear this will cause tension. I don't by any means want baby never to see all of her grandparents but I want it to be at reasonable intervals, not to interefere with our own lives too much and I don't want to be bullied! Anyone else had the same problems? Sorry for long thread!!