Tikva

All of you are only giving individual stories. I feel very sorry for you if things happened just as you said. However, I suspect that you are not being honest with yourselves. I know lots of parents whose children are in care and they continue to blame the social worker, the neighbours who reported them, the family who reported them, anyone but themselves. In all honesty social services have too much work to do to be bothering with families that do not have any problems. Even if all your stories are as you say they are your few experiences do not consuetude a conspiracy between social works, social services and courts. They are a few personal experiences. Try these for balance: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/apr/16/becky-hope-all-in-a-days-work-child-protection http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2007/aug/24/childrensservices?INTCMP=SRCH http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2008/jan/15/children.familyandrelationships?INTCMP=SRCH http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2010/mar/24/social-worker-abuse-online?INTCMP=SRCH http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/sep/06/children-babies-parents-care-barnardos?INTCMP=SRCH

http://www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/2007/08/01/105334/The-public-service-is-not-a-serial-child-snatcher-Anthony.htm This is another very interesting article giving the other side to this story.

I am not going to reveal details of where I work or the details of the families that I work with. I know that you will say that I am hiding behind confidentiality but please think how you would feel if you recognised details of your family on here. What I will do is point you towards sources that demonstrate that actual research into the issues of children in care not just daily mail scare stories : “Few of those managing or researching the care system find extensive numbers of children who shouldn’t be there.” http://www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/2007/08/01/105321/Children-in-care-reducing-the-numbers.htm And that the abuse of children is under reported in this country. Which would suggest that more children should be in care. “Children are most at risk within their own family and they are much more at risk of physical and emotional abuse than of sexual abuse. One in 14 respondents had been severely physically abused by a parent or carer, and one in 17 experienced sustained emotional abuse... The NSPCC study also confirms what is widely known from adult survivors about under-reporting of abuse. Almost all of the respondents said they hadn't reported the abuse to a teacher, policeman, social worker or anyone else in authority..." NSPCC research http://www.communitycare.co.uk/Articles/2000/12/19/29235/Is-it-time-to-revise-the-rulebook-on-abuse.htm If you have never had contact with dysfunctional families I don’t think that you can understand the awful things that go on. I think that nothing could surprise me but then every day I am surprised by the horrible things that families do to each other that they think is perfectly normal. Think what those figure mean above. 1 in 17 experienced sustained emotional abuse. How many children are living on your street? The two streets near you? How many of them will be experiencing sustained emotional abuse without you ever knowing? I know that you do not believe me but lots of children are abused every day in Britain and Social Services have their hand full dealing with them. They have all on taking the babies off dangerous people without having to worry about normal families. All I am trying to do is add some balance to this very one sided thread.

Nothing can ever be perfect. The system gives both sides the opportunity to state their case. There are often independent reports commissioned by the courts and the courts do not always accept what social services say. There are arguments to say that the family courts should be public like other courts. However, would you really want the detals of your family being accused of abuse being in 'The Star'. The Star could give up all its non stories with pictures of people looking glum and report real scandel.

Hi, I am not a social worker, or a social worker in the family courts. I do work in the charity sector with families that are having difficulties. As I explained, Social workers do have to present their evidence in court and parents / carers have their opportunity to present their evidence. It is common for courts to order independent reports such as psycological reports on parents. And I do know of cases where courts have not agreed with the local authority. I also know of cases where children have been returned to their parents. I am not saying that the system is perfect. But the system does get it right more often than it gets it wrong. I am also saying that the posts on this thread are very one sided. And that few parents like to admitt that they might be doing something / not doing something that is harmfull to their child.

Please lets get some perspective here. Social Worker have no powers at all. In order to remove a child they would have to either 1. Get a policeman to take the child to a place of safety under a police protection order. This order would only last 72 hours and this cannot be renewed, or 2. Apply to a court for an interim care order. The local authorities solicitors present their case to the judge and the parents / parents solicitor presents their case and then a judge makes the decision. The decision can be appealed all the way to the high court if necessary. No one is taking children to be adopted for some very good reasons. 1. There are not enough adopters for the children that need to be adopted. Bringing more children in to care is not going to increase the number of adopters. 2. Local authorities have far too much to do working with families that are having difficulties to be going out finding random families to harass. Social workers work under strict checks and balances. If you think that you are being treated unfairly get yourself a solicitor and make complaints to the local authority and the General Social Care Council (GSCC) who register and regulate Social workers. But, before you do. Be honest with yourself. No parent likes to admit that they might be harming their children. However, think about what the Social Workers have said. Think about what they have said that you are doing wrong. Think about what they have said that the effect of what you are / are not doing could have on your children. Think about a day in the life of your child. Really think about things from your child’s perspective. If you do not know the answer to those questions then ask your social work. Keep asking until you understand what they are saying and then really consider what they have told you. Really think about it. Please.

Are you for real!! Are you really that ignorant that you are not aware that gender is far more complex than what one’s genitals appear to be. If I were you I’d broaden one’s knowledge about the world.

I’m think that’s not far off the mark. I tried internet dating when I was in my early 20’s and was contacted by men in their thirties. Now I’m single again and 30 years old I’ve tried internet dating again and being contacted by men in their late 40’s and 50’s. These men are nearer my Dad’s age than mine!! What is it with men that they think that a women 17 years their junior would be compatible with them. I’m not saying that age gap relationships never work but I am asking why men seem only to want a partner substantially younger than them?

No one can be a perfect parent – but parents must be good enough. Everyone makes mistakes when raising their children but it depends how big those mistakes are and if parents learn from them or if they keep repeating them. You’re right that loving one’s children is a good start. But it is not enough. A parent has to have the common sense to know what is appropriate and what is not. For example is it appropriate to leave your young children in the house alone when you go for a night out? Is it appropriate to shout at your child and call it vile names every time it comes for you for attention? Is it appropriate to leave your small child day in day out in front of the television? Is it appropriate to stay in bed most mornings and not take your child to school? All of these parents will tell you that they love their child and wouldn’t want any harm to come to them but they don’t have the common sense and basic parenting skills to know that they are causing harm. All of these parents will tell you that they want their children, even if the pregnancy wasn’t planned. I think that in your first post you are equating bad parenting with not wanting their children. That is not so. Most parents will tell you that they want their children. They just do not necessarily have the appropriate skills to be a good enough parent.

I think it’s a minority who really don’t want their kids once they have arrived. Often, I think that, the children are unplanned and the parents don’t have the skills to be good parents. I’d agree that this tends to run in families, unfortunately. People who have not been well parented tend to go on and badly parent their own children. Though, luckily, some people do manage to break the cycle. An often heard refrain is “I love my Kids!” this is great but it doesn’t mean that you know how to be an effective parent. That’s the problem.

I was an ok kid at school. I did struggle a bit because i have dyslexia that wasn't spotted. When we did exams in the last year at primary school to determine what sets we'd go into at secondary school i did really well. My teacher said that he did not know how I'd done so well but he'd make sure i didn't get into the top sets. He obviousley didn't have much influance because i was put in the top setts. Several years latter an RE teacher said that i wasn't "really university material" at a parents evening. I've gone on to get a 2:1 in RE and do community work.

I've got an interview this afternoon. At the end of the interview when they ask you if you've got any questions I never know what to ask. I've already got most of the basic information such as salery and holidays and i think asking intellegent questions makes a good impression but I'm at a loss as to what to ask. Has anyone got any idea's?

He applied to be a police officer and was recruited in a mass recruitment thing.

You are right. I'm just trying to get a rough idea because there is only so much that you can negotiate.

I don't mean to sound angry with you. I'm not, so sorry. I am angry at the situation. Thanks for the link. It might say that they take everyone's personal circumstances into account. What i am saying is that in practice they don't look at people's individual issues, they have this blanket ban people who have taken anti despressants till they have been medication free for two years. This seems contry to the spirit of the DDA. My posts have been trying to generarte some advice and discussion of the issues. Only you, though, loopylass seem remotely interested.