ohmyword

Excellent point, sir, but the locals would take one look at my immaculate dress sense (a rather splendid Harris Tweed Green Windowpane jacket and Cinnamon corduroy trousers combo) and they would surely set upon me in a fit of jealousy. They’d snap my rod too. The ‘have nots’ of society seem to have a real problem with anything outside their vacuous world of beer, the Sun and football hooliganism. Fly fishing and ballet dancing (for instance) simply aren’t afforded due respect around Richmond Pond.

Thanks Miffy. The book arrived today. It's rubbish. It's actually called 'Fly Fishing'. That J.R. Hartley dude is crazy. Fly fishing?! Been sat here at Rother Valley for the last 8 hours with a slice of bread and jam on my fishing rod. Haven't caught a single fly. I'm going to eat the useless bait for supper and jog home back to Woodthorpe. What a waste of a day off work.

Good evening Miffy. That is an excellent idea and I hadn't even thought about it. I've seen them fishing programmes with that former soldier guy from the telly, Robson Jerome. I reckon I could bring the darts skills to the world of fishing. Just ordered a book off Amazon by some guy called J.R. Hartley so I should be an expert in no time. Is there a 'Buying Maggots in Sheffield' megathread or should I start one?

Thank you Mr Hat. It's good to know that there is still people around that is not just jealous sinnicks who belittle other men's sporting achievements.

Hiya Em. Good to see you on here again. Well, put it this way, a lot of my friends actually express their surprise when I tell them about my prolific tungsten prowess, but I can assure you that it is one hundred per cent truthful what I say. Ever heard of John Smiff’s beer? Well, they did a thing a few years back called the People’s Darts Finals. It was for casual players like me and guess what – I entered it and got to the 2nd round (proper fluke that I got drawn against Stephen in the first round, especially as he’d just bust his thumb falling over drunk in the Winter Gardens LOL!!!). So yeah, I was a bit of a dartist in my glory days!

Well, here’s a bit of a shocker. As I was enjoying my leisurely stroll by the duck pond early yestereve, I noticed some good sized CARP rolling around the top. I turned down my ipod at this moment (got Linkin Park on you see) and exclaimed to myself, “Marvellous, marvellous!” Of course, I returned home to retrieve a cut loaf, which I took to the pond to feed the aforementioned CARP. Well, this is when things took a rather bizarre twist. Suddenly this bedraggled old man came rushing over, SCREAMING at me to stop feeding the ducks! I can assure you that I was only feeding the CARP with the bread, and NOT the ducks! As a rather handy darts player in my younger days, I was able to throw the bread tactically so that only the CARP would consume it. That guy was so rude to me though and just made assumptions about me without even listening to me. I felt threatened in my own village!

I get your point, Christian but I hate it when people call me 'love' or 'lover' in the officeplace. When men call me that it really creeps me out to be honest. In that case I'd rather actually them call me mate! It's a viscous circle for sure!

I’ve had this job for a while now and sometimes it makes me think. What you get a lot of is people going around calling each other “mate”, “pal” or even “matey boy” (???). I was brought up to expect nowt but hi-standards office environment (even though all I do is a bit of admin and clearing the filling cabinets). When did this sort of informal ways of talking to people become the accepted norm? I reckon it was with those types of Channel 4 presenters such as Toby Armistice and Simon Amsel and Sar Pong. Standards have been slipping for years now it seems. What do you reckon? Is it OK to call someone “mate” even if you never been drinking with them?

Alan, what you on about? Got it threw one of them agencys near the big church thing in town. ---------- Post added 03-05-2018 at 20:55 ---------- Some really crucial points here Oliver. To be honest, I'm more of a sans-culottes kinda guy but each to his own isn't it. The fact that some people reckon it's OK to wear the flip flop foot-where makes me just realise that there is no more common decency in Sheffield workplaces no more. This makes me sad.

But we know we're humans don't we? Reminds me of that Killers song where he sings “Are we human? Or are we bankers?”. Actually, that’s exactly the same as the point you’re making, Sir! It’s fine to be a punk rocker but not in work time. That’s my point. You leave your weird lifestyle at the door and you do a good job to the best of your ability. Doubt it’d be safe for one of these so called ‘punks’ to come to work with the safety pins everywhere. I’m passionate about health and safety and I just envisage problems there. Also, don’t they sniff the glue (or Tippex in the office environment). I’m sure he was a nice man but that’s just inappropriate for the Sheffield workplace. It’s prejudice against both gheys AND cowboys. No. Not on. Not on at all. ---------- Post added 02-05-2018 at 14:12 ---------- I know what you mean, but FYI I do look rather dapper in my specially tailored three piece suite.

Hiya. I got a new temp job of recent working in a office in the city centre doing typing and filing etc. I do letters to people about there insurance and boring stuff like that. Anyway, there’s this thing they do at my workplace and it just seems weird to me. They do these ‘dressdown days’ where everyone is free to come to work in civilian attire, if you see what I mean. People come every Friday in scruffy jeans and even t-shirts with slogans emblazoned on them! One gentleman even wears a based ball cap!! It just makes me think are there no standards of decency anymore in modern British workplaces? I was brought up to expect people to do there best and that includes ‘looking the part’ when working in offices.

Hey! Leave Damon alone. I've never met him. He might be a idiot for all I know but your just rude. He makes nice burgers and that's good enough for me (and Stephen). Also, watch out 4 rogue bits of pumctuation when you right your posts. Did'nt you learn no grammer at school?

Went to the DAMON’S at the weekend (Stephen’s birthday so we got a fake meal!). Anyone been recently and know where the Marilyn Monroe picture from the toilets / bogs area has gone? Bleedin spellchecker! It was a free meal not a fake meal!

Nirvana - Heart Shaped Box "Hey, Wayne! I got a new cool plane" I presumed he was bragging to his mate from the Flaming Lips about how rich he was following the success of Nevermind.

Why did the need to change them? This has ruined my Chinese new year. Sheffield's unique culture is being dismantled brick by brick. I had to alight in disgust earlier and walk from Manor Top to Halfway.

They've gone!!! This is terrible. All the voices have changed. Does anyone know how I can get hold of the original studio sessions?

Don't stop scoring baby, you're the one that drives me crazy...PLAYER NAME x2 (must have same number of siller bills as WIGGLE WIGGLE)

Thanks for these Mike. I'll bang em on when I get home from work. I remember the Barnsley Red Tykes getting up into the Premiership (honestly LOL!!). They used to sing that Daydream Believer song but proper ripping into Wolf manager Mark McGhee.

That's interesting about the Scousers in the 60s. I know the obvious You'll Never Walk Again by Jerry Pacemaker but did they sing stuff like Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da too? I imagine that'd work really well. Maybe summat like "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Emlyn Hughes oh! Emlyn Emlyn Emlyn Hughes!" Also, what books are good?

Sometimes I ear a song and I think how good it would be as a football chant what people do In the crowd. The White Stripes ‘7 Nation Army’ is one that is widely used these days (in darts too for MvG and even in politics for that scruffy Labour guy). Strangely, even the depressing goth song ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ by Joy Division is used in football too (it was mostly for Ryan Giggs but it’s other players also such as that tricky Welshman at Bramall Lane). But what I really wanna know is: what other songs do you think would be really good for football? Personally I think there’s a lot of potential for the Kraftwerk song ‘Pocket Calculator’ to be a good one. You know the bit between the descriptions of his calculator (“Na na nat nat, na na na nat nanaaaa”). What do you think? Also, how do we get them 'approved' as football songs?

Yes. Most of them are not even proper acronyms either. According the a thing I saw called 'Oxford Engerlish Dictionary' this is what an acronym is: An abbreviation formed from the initial letters of other words and pronounced as a word (e.g. ASCII, NASA). A lot of what you hear in a workplace isn't even pronounced as a word. It's just loads of letters what don't spell nothing. Hoping for better in 2018.

I remember one with The Daily Thompson on it but I think the music was like headbanger stuff and guy was running down a track. I always used to think he was swilling Lucozade around in his mouth as he was running but my Gran always said don’t be stupid.

Another thing I thought was this: What if Damon was on his lunch break? Surely that's alright but just not when he's meant to be working.

Some people are way too pedantrick when it comes to words, spellings, ect.

I don’t usually watch the news cos it’s boring and pointless but I saw it this morning by an accident and they were talking about some government man called Damien Green who some people reckon has been going on the porno websites on his laptop while he’s meant to have been doing policies and other political stuff. None of it is defo true tho. A woman was saying he should be sacked but some politicians were saying that it’s not been proven and to leave him alone. Got me thinking though – is it ever actually OK to watch that sort of thing at work? Personally I say “no”, unless it’s a laptop and your in a private place such as bogs. Even then you’d better turn the sound down lol!