Diddles

Where I work a CEO is a Court Enforcement Officer - any more variations around?

I've also noticed more people saying this when I'm queueing for my sandwich at lunchtimes. Another saying that I have noticed is when people say 'I would of' instead of 'i would have' - what's that all about?

Yuk, Dysons. I can't stand to see all the dust and muck swirling about in the see through bit.

I've been married for 37 years. Got married when I was 17, so we haven't done too bad, considering that my mum said it wouldn't last!

Wind turbines - just because I'm frightened to death of the bl**dy things with their huge swishing arms. Aargghh!

Last Christmas my Secret Santa pressie at work was 2 Racing Grannies. We had loads of fun racing them round the desks carrying staples, pencil sharpeners etc in the baskets on the front of their zimmer frames. Loads better than organising conferences etc

If brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off !!

I used to work at a hospital years ago and amongst the people registered there were Aaron Mycock and Fanny Hole to name but two. There also used to be a guy listed in the Sheffield telephone directory as Fungus the Bogeyman, but I suspect that he inflicted that name upon himself.

There's a guy called Mike Hunt who works in the offices at the same firm as my husband. He had to phone him a few weeks ago and wasn't quite sure how to ask for him when someone else answered his phone.....

In a bit when I've logged off here, I'm taking my mum shopping - she's nearly 80 and not too fast on her pins, so I expect they will be kicking us out of Morrisons at 10pm - again!

Pink blancmange - whatever happened to blancmange?

I found out that one of my friends is finally going to meet the little girl she is hoping to adopt - she's been waiting for this moment for ages. I'm so pleased for her.

My mum used to smoke Cadets and I used to fetch them for her from the shop up the road - I was only about 12. They cost 1 shilling and 9pence.

And if you are relocating your business up North, you will need this http://www.uktfs.co.uk/manuals/humour/wordfornortherners.pdf

The one where someone keeps shouting 'Bring on the trumpets!'. I don't even know what the advert is for

Diddles can't wait for Friday 30th January... 'cos that's the day I have my stitches taken out - god they are uncomfortable

My OH used to make a cracking risotto using Batchelor's Savoury Rice. I can taste it now........

And the stuff tastes bloody awful! Bring back proper rice, now!

I recently cancelled my mobile phone contract with 3, and today I received my final bill from them - for 24p! It must have cost them more in administration costs to send the letter etc, and will probably cost them more when they receive my cheque (processing etc). I can't quite get my breath....

We've got really noisy neighbours - 4 kids and laminate flooring don't go well together.......

Just J20 for me as I'll be driving home, the other half will be making up for my shortfall in the alcohol department!

In the day time I'll be working, and in the evening me and other half are going to my daughter's to see in the New Year with a few drinks.

Try this link http://users.breathe.com/mickus/sheffield-ish.htm there's quite a few Sheffieldism's on here

I've read somewhere recently that there is a Santa, down the pit at the National Mining Museum (Caphouse Colliery). How different is that?? http://www.ncm.org.uk/news.asp?id=156

I thought it was the Coop adverts that are good with fud?