Phaedrus

Nice one Coyleys. As a fellow Yorkshireman (well nearly) I also like to see dialects put to good use, especially with gritty expressive words like tranklements. It deserves to have one of those quirky and interesting etymologies, but my guess is it shares some latin root with the french word 'tronquer' to truncate. One tiny niggle though. Surely 'bairns' is a Geordie word. Never heard or read that in a Yorkshire context before. Or maybe Mrs Maor has semi-Tyneside roots, but she has lived with Mr Maor in Yorkshire most of her life, so only the odd bit of Geordie slips out from time to time? Yes, that must be it. Looking forward to the next installment from Wynn Manor.

I've no idea why you think I would know much about poetry, I never did English beyond A'level. In any case, poetry is far too big a subject to condense to a forum sticky. If you really want to examine the nitty-gritty of the conventions, Wikipedia has a good overview : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poetry Another school of thought is that poetry shouldn't have rules, as pointed out in this little rhyme I found THE RULES OF POETRY by Douglas Florian Keep it short. Leave it long. Use bad grammar. Spell words wrong. Let the letters All f a l l down. Print a few lines Upside down. Change the rhythm. Never rhyme. Force the meter All the time. Find your keys. Lose your tools. By the way -- THERE ARE NO RULES! I've absolutely no idea who Douglas Florian is. I have disgracefully pinched his poem from another web site. The internet has no rules either. Sue me. Phaedrus.

But what is this I see up high? A shooting star across the sky At last a sign of hope for me Oh sweetest Jubilation Then fall I must from giddy heights It's hard to see on murky nights My ray of hope was landing lights Oh bitter Desperation So does this mean I am that moose Finding peace at the end of a noose Nah - don't let the buggers grind you down Life is for living

Poems seem to be the flavour of the moment, so here's my effort. It actually contains the word trapped, so it's also my contribution to the May theme. Slipstream Man.

Forgive me if this has been covered elsewhere, I expect it's a very common subject on forums, but I feel the need to ease Coyleys pain. The writer’s group seems to have a hard-core few who do all the writing and commenting. That’s fine, but I’ve noticed a few posts like the one above complaining about how few members contribute. You need to remember that the forum is something you are keen on for whatever reason, you get something out of it, maybe it’s become a bit of a hobby, all of which is great. But for most people, like me, they just want to dip their toe in the water from time to time, it doesn’t mean that much to them. Think about it – isn’t it the same with all clubs, societies, guilds…etc. There are always the crucial few who take it seriously and keep things going, and there are always the crowds of hangers-on who just want the occasional peek into whatever activity is going on. Some people don’t even want to dip in, they just want to be a spectator and nothing more. There’s nothing wrong with that. You have the choice, you can close ranks and “make things compulsory” which will drive away all those non-serious onlookers, or you can just accept that different people have different levels of interest. You never know, one day you might write something so brilliant that the most shy of all those spectators is prompted to post his first comment. Make that your challenge. Your audience, however silent, should encourage you, not be a source of frustration.

Virgin writer here, be gentle with me. My fridge conked out today, so there was only one thing to do, write about it...... A tale of two fridges.

£40 is very cheap. I hope you kissed his feet and gave him tea and biscuits. Anyway, my advice is now too late, but for your future reference this is what I would have posted: This advice applies to anyone with any kind of pop-up or virus problem, in fact most things which interrupt or slow down your computer. If you like you can spend hours/days/weeks with all manner of anti-virus, spyware and adware type programs. In my experience you will save yourself a lot of time and heartache by ignoring them all and doing the following: 1) If you haven't got a backup hard drive, get one and install it. 2) Transfer all your precious photos and data (NOT programs or windows) to the backup drive. 3) If you use Outlook for email you will need to find 3 files in a hidden folder (outlook.pst, archive.pst and extend.dat) and make copies onto the backup drive in order to preserve your emails and contacts. 4) Learn how to boot from your Windows CD (loads of sites will walk you through this procedure) and do a fresh install of Windows XP on C drive. Don't just repair or re-install Windows - make sure you completely delete all partitions, so Windows will then be installed onto a freshly formatted partition and drive. 5) Re-install all your drivers, programs and transfer your data back (including the 3 Outlook files if applicable). All of the above will take a couple of hours, maybe 3 or 4 if it's your first time. That is a lot less time than you will spend downloading all sorts of programs claiming to be your saviour and fiddling around with them, only to find a day or 2 later the pop-ups re-appear. Unlike any of them, this method works 100% GUARANTEED every time. Also, don't be surprised if your computer suddenly runs like a cheetah - a fresh install is like getting a new machine again.

I've got a pair of Sennheiser PMX40 brand new in box that you could have for much less than retail, but unfortunately I'm in Manchester. Google them, you will find they get great reviews, you can get them from many places. Of course you can get better for your budget of £30, but I'm not sure you would get much benefit using an ipod, unless of course you will also use them with a hi-fi system.

Sorry if this is a really dumb question, if so just ignore, but have you recently cleaned out your Temporary Internet Folder including deleting cookies? If so, you just need to re-enter the username and password once for each site you log into, which will create a new cookie. I'm sure you already tried that, but you never know, you could be one of those non-techies that doesn't know how cookies work and doesn't keep a note of passwords.

ignore previous post, I'm a moron. I read your title as saying freeserve, not freeview. Thought you were just incorrectly using analogue and digital to mean 56k modem and broadband. I consider myself viciously slapped around the head.

There are a few £350-400 bargains around at the moment, all much of a muchness. But just before you buy, think about one thing. You can still get 'normal' 4:3 ratio screens from some places, many of which are also bargains because of the current craze for widescreen. But think carefully about what you will use the laptop for. If you intend to watch DVD films on it, then fine, you can ignore the rest of this post. But most people buy computers to do computer stuff, so I just don't understand the fad for widescreen. If you are working on a document you will only see a quarter of the page at full width, instead of a third or more on a normal format, unless you shrink the document to the centre part of the screen, which will give you effectively something like a tiny 10" or 11" working area, somewhat defeating the object. A normal 14" or 15" would give a much larger working area. The same applies to games - they will play in the centre of the screen, giving a tiny viewing area. Maybe the very latest games are now written with a widescreen format option, but I don't think you'll be playing the latest games on a budget laptop anyway. Unless I'm missing something fundamental, a widescreen budget laptop is a massive waste of money unless your main interest is watching films, which seems barmy to me because most films look and sound naff on a laptop.

It depends how far away from the monitor you are sitting and what you mean by 'computer work'. For text and photographic work, or desk work, get a smaller TFT monitor, unless you have really bad eyesight and need icons 2 inches high.

You're right. When you've finished adding this and taking away that, they all end up about the same, Dell, Mesh, Evesham...etc. It's no different to choosing between Toyota, Honda and Nissan - the myriad of options just complicate things. Just decide what spec you need and find a 'Deal of the Month' or some special offer that fits the bill. Consider yourself lucky, you're not into games, so you've already simplified things no end. Any current new model will have a good enough processor for the needs you describe, just make sure you get at least 512mb RAM and a hard drive big enough for your downloading habit. You have lots of choice for £400.

Follow the Tom's Hardware links. Your decision will be very easy then.

Most of the big online suppliers now have 19" for around £125 and 17" for around £100. The difference is too small to make the 17" worth bothering with. Yes they are the same resolution, but the icons and text on the 17" are too small unless your face is right up against the screen. I reckon if the gap closes much more then 17" will fade out just like 15" did. Go 19", then in a few years time it might actually still be worth something, unlike the 17".