Jobojack

This is a bit random, but I am looking to find out what has happened to a lady of that description. I think she had Alzheimer's or something. I used to see her in Hillsborough all the time and we always chatted. We worked out she probably delivered me as a baby because she was one of very few midwives doing home births in Sheffield in the 70s. But every time I saw her, she would never remember meeting me before so I think she was a bit poorly. I know she had no children of her own, but I'm fairly sure she had relatives in Hillsborough as I saw her eating with them in Morrison's cafe. I've not seen her for ages and I really want to find out if she is okay. She was/is a lovely, kind lady and I was very fond of her. If this rings a bell with anybody, I'd love to know ---------- Post added 04-11-2018 at 01:07 ---------- I am pretty sure she trained as a general nurse at the Northern General but later specialised in midwifery I think she was late 70s/early 80s.

Thank you very much. Really helpful.

I’m looking to buy a house next year. My Mum bought a house in Sheffield in the early 80s. According to my Mum the house buying system in Sheffield is some sort of closed bids system and people often end up paying a lot over the advertised price. She thinks this is still the situation. I’ve tried googling this and not turned up any results. Could any kind person tell me if this is still the situation?

You’re very much trying to tell us what we should do. I don’t think it is a rational argument at all. You’re arguing for ‘agency, agency, agency’ and the right for homeless people to decide what they want rather than being given things. But you’re ignoring that the givers also have a choice to use their own agency not to contribute to self destructive behaviour or fund the people who are feeding their habit who in turn oppress other people with fear and violence through the smuggling, production and supplying of drugs. And given that we are in a position to exercise our own agency more responsibily (hence we still have the jobs that allow us to pass on the money). Actually she’s done it since I was a teenager and I am incredibly grateful to her. There was a point when I would have spent it on fags and cider or worse. Her vouchers kept me in a reasonable state of dress and more importantly meant even through the worst times I still had books and kept on reading which meant my mind didn’t go to mush and I was in still in good stead to get an education when I got through them. You see at the time she knew she could make a better choice for me than I could and didn’t want to help me self destruct even though she wanted to do something kind. I feel use a similar thought process when not giving cash to people on the streets. Because perhaps if having their own money to spend as they wished was a huge priority for them they would be doing things like looking to get clean and change their lifestyle? Many of them will be in receipt of benefits and have spent that as they wished and are looking for a supplement. Frequently their benefits will have gone on drugs and booze as well, as will any other ‘supplemental’ begged money. Making a decision to give someone a bacon sandwich that gives their body a little bit of extra strength to make it through the next onslaught of alcohol and drugs when you know they won’t get something themselves is a kindness of making a good decision for somebody who isn’t currently capable of making a good decision themselves. A rise? For one thing not everybody is going to stop, there’s always someone daft with more money than sense. And plenty of that minor crime along with prostitution already happens to fund habits. In an ideal world that sort of crime would be detected and interventions made to assist recovery. I’m not sure giving money to stop those things happening is either useful or effective. For one thing they are usually done in tandem rather than separately in order to have enough to fund their habits. For another it’s a form of enablement which helps people keep going and stay off the rock bottom they need to reach before they face up to their demons and start to deal with their addictions. It puts off the inevitable rock bottom and prolongs the pain rather than alleviating it. Unless it kills them. And who wants to pay for the fix that kills somebody? There was one woman I used to buy cider or lager for alongside a sandwich and some food for her dogs. But that was because she was so far gone she used to mentally lose the plot and become frightened and deranged as she sobered up. But to be quite honest she was the one person who ---------- Post added 17-10-2018 at 21:37 ---------- Do you honestly think the police would come out for that? No waaaay.

It’s unusual for anybody to give things away without conditions or expectations. If you sign on, you have to look for work. If you get sick pay you have to provide a doctor’s note, we have to pay stamps for our pension or we’re old and poor enough to need help, or we have to turn up to work. Even why my Nan buys me a book token or a topshop voucher for Christmas she is placing an expectation I will spend my money on that clothes or books and not on fags and cider. Regarding agency: first of all you seem to be assuming that agency is always a good thing. It’s not. Many people punch, kick, rape, fight, kill, rob steal, abuse harm, commit terror attacks, start wars out of their own agency. Agency is sometimes not that great. At it’s extremes we even send people to jail for using their agency destructively or in a way which harms others. Now we as a society do tolerate those who use their own agency to harm themselves with drugs or alcohol much more. If they have the money and don’t harm others in the process it’s tolerated. But if they have to beg then they are entirely dependent on the agency of others. Which is where the other problem with your prioritisation of agency. What about the agency of me, the_bloke, redruby, fudbeer, whoever? What if we don’t want to collude in the violence they are inflicting on themselves? Why doesn’t our agency matter? Why Cyclone, it does sound like you are trying to take our agency away from us, you rotter you! You use your agency to give them money, we use our agency to buy them a sandwich and you cannot take our agency away! The third thing is that they do still have agency. They are using their agency to beg to feed their habits. Tomorrow, they may use their agency to go down to the Archer project and ask for help with their addictions. It does happen. I know people who have done it. What you’re ignoring is that turning up for work is not the only expectation of employers. You are expected to turn up to work clean, washed, appropriately dressed, fed, alert and healthy. Someone who chose to spend all their money on booze and spice rather than somewhere to live, sleep, wash, launder their clothes and feed themselves will not be employed for much longer. We are given money by our employers with the expectation that we are capable of using our own agency to make responsible decisions which won’t negatively impact us and them. If we’re found to make poor use of our own agency, that right is withdrawn and our employers use their agency to sack us! For many people, when they see see someone harming themselves with drugs or alcohol they make the decision that person is using their agency harmfully and use their own agency to choose not to support behaviour which harms them. Agency doesn’t just come from one side in the transaction, if you’re going to argue agency is all important and must be preserved then the givers agency is just as important, particularly when the giver is in a better position to exercise good judgement.. ---------- Post added 17-10-2018 at 11:00 ---------- You don’t have to ‘catch’ something for it to be a disease. You don’t catch Cancer or Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s or Multiple Sclerosis but they’re still diseases. If you think people with serious addictions drink or take drugs because it makes them feel ‘awesome’ you are seriously deluded and obviously don’t have much experience of addiction. By the time they get to the point of addiction they are taking things just to get temporary relief from the absolute depths of emotional and physical anguish, it may make them feel a bit less awful temporarily, it certainly won’t make them feel good or even okay, let alone awesome. I’ve overcome my own addictions and I have an awful lot of sympathy for people who still have them and I give regularly to the Archer Project & St Mungo’s who help people in these dreadful situations. But I won’t give money to facilitate them harming themselves. That doesn’t mean I can’t sympathise or understand the awful almost hopeless situation serious addiction is.

Grandad, Navy WWII. Torpedo loader. Was traumatised by it and troubled for the rest of his life that he actively participated in killing people. When the torpedo’s hit their target you would hear the screams as the ship went down. All the time knowing you may well die the same death.