MICK BADGER

did he live on the Kelvin flats 71 ish

yes I know Cliff James he was a shift super when I started, Rod Pettifer Ray Austin,, Keith Crookes Mick Turner, Tony Turner Pete Stephenson Dave Revit No 1 machine man, Howard Guest, Mick Garvey reelers, Pete Pleasants, Eric Rowlands, Chris Bownes, Eddy Smith Roger Crofts I must put a EWR in

Tony Brocklehurst?

was you in blade grinders or boilers

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, "It could have been worse." To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it. On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!" "That's awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse." "How in the heck," asked his bewildered friend, "Could it have been worse?" "Well," replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I'd be dead now!"

I love the look on people's faces, standing freezing at the bus stop as I drive past them. It's partly why I became a bus driver.

I woke up this morning coughing badly, think I may have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it's hard to say

Canned Heat the original line up 1965 to 1970

I thought they were from Liverpool

Paddy gets a job as a carpenter on a building site, but on his first day he forgets to wear his hard hat. As he walks under some scaffolding, a workman above drops a stanley knife and it slices Paddy's ear clean off. As Paddy screams out in pain, the whole site workforce come running, looking for the lost ear. After a few seconds a bloke finds an ear in a pile of rubble and shouts "Is this it!?" Paddy looks up and shouts back "no, mine had a pencil behind it..

yes he was and so was James Hunt the 1976 F1 world champion

I went into a chemist shop and asked "Do you have any bedpans?" The assistant said "I'm afraid we haven't sir. Have you tried Boots?" I said yes but it runs out the lace holes.

I love watching Nigella Lawson

Historians in Ireland have discovered what they believe to be, the headstone of the oldest ever living man He was 193 and his name was Miles from Dublin.

Myrtle on Alexandra road Heeley13 years old

An Australian, and Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out: "My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table. The Irishman calls out across the lounge. "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus?" Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus." He says. Well, the Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him. "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me." The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness. Jesus looks over, raises his glass in thanks and drinks. Then the Australian calls out. "Oy you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus or what?" Jesus nods and says. "Yes, I am Jesus." The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of Fosters for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure. The Scouser then calls out. "Oii whack, would you be Jesus?" Jesus smiles and says. "Yes, I am Jesus." The Scouser beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of bitter for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the table. Finally, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches our three friends. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement..... "Oh God! The arthritis is gone! The arthritis I've had for years is gone! It's a miracle." Jesus then shakes the Australian's hand, thanking him for the lager. Upon letting go, the Australian's eyes widen in shock. "By jingo mate, the migraine! The migraine I've had for 40 years is completely gone it's a miracle!" Jesus then goes to approach the Scouser who says. "Back off, mate! I'm on Disability!"

another under age 13 years old nudging 14 ln the Myrtle on Alexandra road I soon got a taste for beer and never been challenged by anyone cheers

me and a mate of mine had a ride out on our motorbikes and we ended up at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch on Anglesey and we stopped off for lunch and my mate asked the waitress if she could slowly tell us where we are and she replied BURRR.... GERRR.... KING

A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips. Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon. "It's very brave of you to come out here," says Matthew. "Please tell the audience what happened"... "Well," replies Simon, "about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn't save my legs"... "That's terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial"...? Asks Matthew. "No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died. But they also said that his legs were fine and, with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful... "I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year".. A huge round of applause erupts from the audience. Kelly responds with, "That's an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be"...? "Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Half uncle"

the wife went barmy with me tonight because I sold the vacuum cleaner I said it was only gathering dust

During a child birthing class at a local hospital, a nurse says, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.” She turns to the men in the room and says “Gentlemen, remember that you’re both in this together. It wouldn’t hurt for you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.” The room becomes very quiet as the men absorb this information. After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room slowly raises his hand. “Yes?” says the Nurse. “I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk.”

my wife yelled down from upstairs and asked do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like somebody's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it no I replied she responded how about now

Please send prayers for my mother-in-law. She was taken to hospital this morning, her face was all red and swollen. A bee landed on her face. Luckily she wasn't stung, I was too quick with the spade.

This elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my son,” said the priest. “Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.” “That’s a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess,” said the priest. “It’s worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors,” continued the old man. “Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly,” said the priest. “Thanks, Father,” said the old man. “That’s a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?” “Of course, my son,” said the priest. The old man asked, “Do I need to tell her that the war is over?”.

I have lived in Liverpool for many years, and not once has my home ever been burgled. All the local gangs and toughs actually keep a pretty good distance and never bother me. All I had to do was stencil "Job Centre" over my door.