peregrine82

hi , i have a little boy who is 18 months old and has down syndrome. have you been to the sheffield down syndrmoe support group? there's quite a few little ones under 5 there. they meet the last saturday of every month at st mary's church, bramall lane. ready steady go run playgroups at childrens centres across the city for children under 5 with special needs.

at the mo i'm free on the 1st. don't mind what we do, but pub might be annoying! i swear i'm craving beer!

was good to meet everyone on sat - we'll have to do it again sometime!

cool, hopefully shall see you all there!

just so you all know - went to see midwife yesterday who explained a few things... the NICE guidelines are just that, guidelines - so if you want more (or less) than 10 appointments, there's nothing to stop you booking in to see a midwife. antenatal classes are either run over a 5 weekly period at jessops, or at a local venue which usually take place on a saturday, and you only have to go to 1 session! midwife has the numbers, and it is advisable to book early! hope that clarfifies a few things!

ooh, this is exciting! i'm free on saturday too. i'm sure there's other people who live further afield than i do, as i'm pretty central, so can be flexible about where we meet, what we do. city centre will be heaving, but i don't mind if that's the easiest option for everyone...

yeah, i'm working till december too. can't decide when to start my maternity leave. i have no plans for this weekend as yet. what were you thinking?

starlet83, you said 'Sorry I dont mean to sound rude or harsh but do you not think that alot of this is your responsibility? Your midwife should have been in touch but why have you not rung her?' - i had no idea she was supposed to get in touch with me at any point during the pregnancy, is she?! i wasnt told i need to inform her of my due date, not by her nor the people i saw at jessops. so id dint think anything of it. the only infomration i was given by the midwife on the initial visit said an appointment at 8 weeks and 25 weeks, (and then the ones further on). i didn't know i was supposed/entitled to have an appointment at 16 weeks, otherwise believe me, i wouldve made one. ' antenatal classes are normally done quite late in your pregnancy. As far as I know they are done at Jessops or Stocksbridge. And you have to ring and book that appointment yourself.' - again, not told anything about this. i have no probs phoning up and making appointments. but at no point has anyone told me that i need to book in to these classes or who to contact to do so, i was given the impression that because they are so much further on, nothing needs to be done. i was just concerned after hearing that there might be no room left. 'I just wonder how you expect your midwife/doctor to know you need help if you havent asked for it? ' - i think that's my point, i'm not sure what help i am entitled to, if any! i don't want to be taking up time with questions that can be easily resolved, hence asking here. i'm all too aware that there are not enough midwives and i'm sure there are loads of women out there who have more probs/concerns during pregnancy who need the care. also, it's not always so easy for everyone to access resources on the subject. i don't have regular internet access, i work 2 jobs and can never get to the library while it's open.

thanks ever so much folks. leahlacie - those guidelines are very useful. i wonder if i didnt get 16 weeks because we chose not to have any tests done? doesn't seem right though, we still have lots of questions! fabgirl - im on the commnity midwife thing too. and so far not impressed at all, especially if there's better care availiable. ironic, because i thought i'd joined the best dr's in my area, seemed like a real community dr's. i'm starting to think that because it's a relatively wealthy area a lot of people might be paying for private care or ante natal classes, which just isn't an option for us. however i might have to just pay for nct classes because at the end of the day it's a life we're talking about. anywa, thanks

hi all, sorry for not replying and thanking everyone for their comments and help - i actually didn't see a lot of them until today becuase i don't have internet access. but it's lovely to see how many people care enough to respond. so a big thanks! i am now 20 weeks gone and obviously, am going to be a mum in january, eek! i still have very mixed emotions about the whole thing, i'm not scared/excited, but i'm also not not scared/excited! however, my partner is excited and scared enough for both of us! the decision we made was very much based on... well you know i can't really tell you because we just let it be more than anything, there was no definitive moment or reason. i think on some level i knew there was no other option and that i might regret having a termination, which having had friends go through that, is not something i want to live with for the rest of my life. so yeah, just to let you all know. x

is ligament stretching when the sides of your belly and underneath really hurt? i keep getting horrible little stabbing pains, but they come and go..

hi all, i'm a bit confused about the care (or what i'm starting to feel is the lack thereof) i'm recieving during pregnancy. i am about 20/21 weeks pregnant with my first child and i have only seen a midwife once for my booking appointment when i was about 8 weeks. the first thing she asked was where i'm having my baby, which took me totally aback - i basically didn't have a clue and it completely freaked me out as i didn't, and still don't have the information i need to make that decision. anyway, at the end, she asked if i had any questions, and maybe it was my own fault for being unprepared, but i couldnt think of any, i was just completely blown away by the amount of stuff i'd been eating which i shouldn't have (salami!!) and all this other stuff i had no clue about. i guess i thought she might go through some common worries/concerns with me. since then, i've been for my 12 week and 19 week scan, and heard nothing from the midwife (based at my dr's). i've cheated a bit, and booked an appointment for next week even though the calendar i was given says i shouldn't be going until my 25th week. however that would then leave 4 months without seeing a midwife which i feel really uneasy about. there's loads of things i'm getting concerned about, like ante natal classes. i have been told that these are few and far between in my area and get booked up really quickly, and that i may have no option but to go to jessops or a different areawhich i really don't want to do - the whole point to me is to meet other local mums, as i know no one!! but how the hell do i find this stuff out when everyone keeps telling me to ask my midwife!!? then ther's all the questions about what's normal re: movement and stuff, growth (i'm not showing at all) it's not even like i'm particularly anxious about anything, nor do i expect to have my hand held through it all but i ahve no idea what to expect because i have never been pregnant before. i told my mum, and she went crazy, and said she had 31 appointments while she as pregnant with me and my bro(in the 80's, in wales) and i spoke to a friend who had kids in 2002 and she had an apointment every week. (which i do think is excessive, but...) she said i should demand to see my doctor, but as far as i know there's no medical reason to do so and i dont really feel comfortable making an apointment just to say 'i'm not getting enough help' because maybe this is all everyone in sheffield gets! clarity, folks? and sorry about the essaY!

hi both, i'm due jan 16th and do not know a single pregnant person in sheffield! have friends with babies, but it's not quite the same... i am also crap at going to classes, like pregnancy yoga, as i get really tired and decide i can't hack it - so would be up for meeting for lunch/drinks/walking or something less hectic!

hi folks, just found out i'm pregnant (only about 5 weeks) and i am literally sick with worry. i don't know what to do - i don't have a doctor so can't go and talk to them about it, and i think my partner is in denial -he's so busy fixing our house up he doenst have the time tot hink about it, basically. have done a bit of research online but the more i read the more freaked out i get. i just don't think i can hack having kids - i don't have the stamina amongst other things. one of the main things is that i'm really uncomfortable already - my belly is painful and feels streched, like it's going to snap, and just really tender. if nothing else, i don't think i can cope with the pain for another 8 months - is this normal? i have lots of concerns, i cant possibly go through them all here, but i live in a house thats falling apart - i own it, but there's dust evertywhere, no heating, its so cold in winter its untrue - i can't fix it cos i cant afford to. my relationship with my partner is far from stable, even though we're been together 5 years. i'm nearly 30 but i feel about 16, and act it! i feel like i have years to have kids (my mum had me when she was in her 40's) ...most of my friends from home have kids but i've never wanted them (wanted to adopt if anything) and i don't have a maternal bone in my body. i don't even like being around children! i find them exhausting and bloody hard work. i know all this is very negative but to be honest i have a pretty appalling relationship with my mum and i can't really see anything positive in ebing a parent (or a child, for that matter!) also, my sheffield friends dont have children and i'm worried about being isolated. i'm rubbish at talking to new people anyway and just the thought of sitting around with lots of other super excited mums makes me feel angry, because i don't feel that way! however we have been through this before, very early on in our relationship i got pregnant and we decided to have a termination. (didnt have any of the pain that time) my gut reaction was that i was going to have a termination and i can honestly say i have never regretted it. it was the right decision. this time, i just cried. and if i wasn't at work (the only place i have internet access) i'd be crying right now. if it was just me, i know what i'd do, but my partner wants kids i think (although he's said he'll support me whatever) and i dont know if our relationship would survive having another termination. i really love him, too, and i don't want to share him with a child, not yet. i know this post will probably upset/annoy some people, but please don't judge me. i'm just being honest about the way i feel; i'm not looking for answers, i'm just desparate and need a bit of support - even if it is from strangers on the internet... thanks