paulabear

R.I.P Summer my thoughts are with you and your family. Jake I hope u pull through thinking of you and your family. Such a terrible tragedy thoughts are with everyone involved

especially stagecoach!!!!

Hi I don't know if your interested in this, my son is 20yrs old and as learning difficulties he doesn't work due to having had a illness. He as trouble socialising etc he lives for his Xbox live he to loves cinema which it's usually me that goes with him. He was diagnosed with dyspraxia. I have mentioned this and my son asked if he wanted to add him on the x box if not it was just a thought thanks

First of all you sound an amazing Father and the kids are so lucky to have you. A suggestion is to get a box and seal it put a slit in top and get kids to write or draw pictures a xmas card anything they want to put in it tell them you won't read or look in, you could do same. It's a private box and put it in a place they know its there. Suggest to them that ur building new memories and ask if they want to do anything new. Kids are tougher than they look and seem. I remember when my kids were younger I had a similar situation (father wasn't totally out of picture) and my youngest wanted to go window shopping sounds strange I know but his Dad hated it. We went to meadowhall didn't buy a thing except food we were there hours, he loved it. When the box gets filled do a little fire and ask kids if its ok to burn it. I had several boxes until they said yes. Hope you have a good xmas you and the kids deserve it

R.I.P simon sendings hugs and thinking of his family

Its ok i know how I felt when I was diagnosed. visit http://www.neadtrust.co.uk/events.html that will tell you where and when for next group. think its September 14th NEAD that's a open group then there's private one. You will be surprised how many of us are out there

hi, the support group is nead and private nead on Facebook follow links. The group meets every couple of months in Sheffield town center. I have suffered with this since 2009 its an horrible to deal with and frustrating. Its a good group for support hope this helps!

Hi, I too had a similar up bringing to you. Not very good parents(which I won't go into) all types of abuse (which I wont go into). I have siblings what have gone through same and we all have kids and we all bring our kids up differently. There is no right way to do this we all learn at it and I am still learning my children are 23 and 19. The first thing that I would advise you is try and put your kids to one side I know this will be hard but they are being taken care off at moment. You need to think off yourself put your well being first cos If you don't, no one else will, if your not right who's there for your kids anyway. You wont be able to move forward. You need to look at your life in a different prospective look at the abuse as a learning curve, learn things from it. Like just for example secrets in our family we don't have them everyone is up front. we call birthdays and xmas surprises etc and this might sound pathetic to some people but with abuse secrets creates power over someone. I learnt that the only person I depend on is myself and if people need me to support them I do that 100% I give everything cos I know the feeling off being let down. You cant change your past but you can influence your future. my mom let me down, I became a good one to mine. I make mistakes but everyone does, I don't blame myself if I get it wrong. I will not let my past keep me in my past, I am not a victim I was a victim but I'm not anymore! I am a survivor and a fighter and so are you. You may not feel it but you already took the steps by posting. Counselling is good, it might seem it doesn't work, but you do take things in and work things out. A bit of advice don't do anything else the day you have counselling. take time out for yourself. When I had counselling years ago I was to upset to function that day, so I had a cry had a bath did things I wanted to do. My kids were younger then and I remembered that day we had takeaway for tea and kids loved it. we had a film night this worked for me, it might not for you but try different things. I hope this as helped in some way. The advice other posts have posted as been good take bits and use them your way and remember you are entitled to a life. You deserve to be happy You control that not people from your past! Go to your doctors ask for therapy like you stated, they might have one at your doctors which should be quicker but if not the doctor should have a list of counselling centres, it can take time but it will be worth it and also ask your doctor for a referral to social services or mental health team for yourself, don't be frightened of that the more you talk the easier it will become. good luck!!!!

Hi can I ask how old you are, I don't mean to be rude but just curious. My son is 19 and he has similar problems. He is waiting to hear from hospital to see if he has Asperger's, he already has dyspraxia and is dyslexic. And on top of that he is just recovering from kidney cancer. It was actually his consultant that suggested he has Asperger's, and a few nurse's. It sounds really dome and gloom but he has a good sense of humour about things(between his family ) The thing that gets him down is having no friends, he finds it really hard work. He does the usual teenage lads do x- box live but no real human contact with actual friends. He's been bullied in past, he just doesn't always get other lads banter. So that as scarred him a little. He's got an older brother but I don't think its same as having friends. As for you getting a job, I would go down the route of volunteering that way if you have a bad day and can't make it in it won't be as bad. Start of small like an hour or so and build up. My son deferred college for a year and he's going back in September, but he is so nervous and anxious. I hope things work out for you, as I am sure they will.

Depends on what you want out of it. Depends on how much you charge for existing customers. Add on petrol and whatever profit. I suppose it depends on if you want to build up your round and profit in long run or what the profit now. Up to you really

What about basic hourly rate for a probation period then put it up and extra for mileage that seems to work for people who work in care. Couldn't you send the mileage in to your accountant. I don't know all legal stuff but that's what I think I would do just to start yourself off then once it's all off the ground then pay above national rate of pay

I don't know legal requirements for employment but I would pay an hourly rate. What Would stop them from taking the round themselves like smithy said. Make sure it states it in contract get legal advice. Good luck!

It's good to know. If there wasn't people like you we wouldn't have places like the teenage cancer trust. My son is on the mend thanks getting there slowly but we are winning it so far!

They do fantastic work, I have witness to this. The unit at Weston park is amazing. My 19 yr old son as had papillary kidney cancer. His main treatment was at hallamshire as they didn't suspect this type of cancer. He had a 8cm Tumour but they thought it benign. He had his kidney out biopsy showed this type cancer. So he was transferred to Weston park, we were shown round by staff on teenage ward. He as never been admitted on to that ward but when we have appointments, scans we sit up on ward so my son doesn't get board t.v Xbox and more importantly tea haha (for me). The staff up on ward are amazing, they work in such a difficult situation but always smiling. They take my son on trips, give advice from hygiene hair eating generally everything. Nathan & Caroline support workers are fantastic and so is Jan. Jan was fantastic for me to talk to I don't know what I would have done at beginning without her. Louise is social worker for click Sargent another trust which is amazing, help with holidays days out anything she can. Then theirs jimmy teens another fantastic part of teenage cancer trust they work hand in hand with each other. They are all truly angels and I applauded them for what they do for the families but most importantly the kids.

I have been told in October everyone who claims housing/council tax benefits will be paid directly and it will be up to you to pay the landlords council or private yourself.