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Padders

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Everything posted by Padders

  1. Nice one Irene, helpful as ever.....
  2. No it's not smutty, I always thought that I'd read a post where you did a bit of scaffolding. Could have mixed you up with someone else though.. Me smutty, never!
  3. Milk floats, petrol cars, electric cars. Brown Bayley Steels used to have a steam truck.
  4. Apology accepted Mr. zach.
  5. Very good Mr. Zach. That exercised my chuckle muscles. .
  6. What is it about these diddy men. Why are they aggressive and know all's. I've been to ASDA this morning and used the self-service till, I always pay by cash, so usually I have to wait a few minutes till one becomes available, Grrr.. So this morning I wait for one, Found one, checked out my purchases and attempted to pay, but it wouldn't accept my cash. I called upon the assistance of a very small guy and told him my problem.. "It's card only" he told me in a very authoritarian way, as If I was dumb or summit. No it isn't I said, and pointed to the pole which said "Cash and Card" "Open your eyes" he said and pointed to a piece of cardboard stuck on the side of the till with cellotape that said "card" only. I had a bit of a set to with him, and told him to get the "Card and Cash" sign covered up. Anyway, I had to bag all my purchases up and find another cash till. Ruddy jobsworths. However, here's the thing, I absolutely support legislation that forces employers to consider people from all walks of life, no matter how much they dribble, or how many times a day they need to pray. Sure, for every jobsworth, there's a Douglas Bader who overcame the loss of his legs to get back in a spitfire, or a Michael Bolton who overcame an astonishing haircut to become a pop star... David Blunkett, Admiral Nelson, history is littered with disabled people who have not just got by, but got on. Andrew Lloyd Webber made it, even though at some point in his teenage years his face melted, and every year millions of people have to overcome the massive problem of being born American. So, if I was an employer and wanted a footballer, I'd get someone who was good at football and wouldn't care where they were from, what shape they were or even if they had a face like an horse. If I wanted a secretary, I'd get someone who could type and wouldn't care how long her legs were, or if she had sumptuous breasts. But there's only one type of person I wouldn't employ under any circumstances. A Small Man. Smallness trumps everything, it's not normal to be small, it defies national characteristics, to be born Italian and male is like winning the lottery of life, but that isn't so if your the height of a normal persons navel. I mean it doesn't matter if fate deals the short arse a hand stuffed with aces, he simply won't be able to achieve a state of happiness if he has to go through life banging his head on coffee tables. If your small, it doesn't matter whether your rich, poor, Aries, Leo or ginger, they will be consumed with a sense that people aren't just physically looking down on you , but mentally as well. This makes them permanently aggressive, and equipped with a chip so deep they need to wear a tie to stop themselves falling in half. I've never once met a small man who is balanced, they misinterpret every kind word, and treat every gesture as the opening salvo in a full-on war. Taller people are at the cutting edge of civilisation, these people, lets say 6 foot are bound to be the brightest and cleverest and most advanced humans the world has ever seen, but those under 5 foot 1 are somewhere between the amoeba and the ape.. Anyway that's it, I'm boycotting ASDA for a few weeks, with a bit of luck they might have just got shut of him........
  7. Right, so I turned up at the Docs last Monday to have my ears syringed, previously the nurse told me to put drops of Olive Oil in my ears. Me, of course, being a smart ass, went one better. After managing to prise a £10 note out of my wallet, I purchased a bottle of Otex £4-99. Got to the docs on Monday, and the nurse asked if I'd put Olive Oil in my ears. With a sexy shake of my head, and the smuggest look I could conjure up, I told her no, only Peasants use cheap stuff... Oh dear, she wasn't amused, She went into great detail about them containing Peroxide, and she wouldn't be able to syringe them. So I finished up with a flea in my ear! Got to go back next Monday for another attempt, I've poured about a gallon of Olive Oil in them, hope that satisfies her.
  8. Oh thanks for that Mr. Blob. That answers my last post.
  9. Yep, in full view.. How do you view them Fran. I have to google"Sheffield Peregrines" Previously I could view them on the actual thread.
  10. Not to worry Irene, I'm sure Albert Einstein made the occasional mistake..
  11. Try changing a flat tyre on an Artic, toppa Woodhead pass. Middle of January, force 10 gale blowing a blizzard, and temperature -8. All done in a T-shirt. Thas not lived Rocker!
  12. Stop encouraging them... It's calmed down a lot.
  13. My main means of transport is Shanks Pony.
  14. Do you remember that cafe owner in Castleton. The rudest man in England?
  15. I never went to nurseries, I was going up and sweeping chimneys for 16hrs a day. No need for nurseries back then.
  16. Doesn't matter how much you shake your peg, The last few drops go down your leg.........
  17. I can see this going on into the early hours.
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