Feeling so guilty..

redstar1987 · 20-05-2012, 08:49

Yesterday after work I decided to pop to the local shop for a few things, before I went in a noticed a young dog tied up outside. Didn't really think too much of it as people do it all the time, but couldn't help but feel it was a bit risky as there are a lot of mean people out there who wouldn't hesitate to take the puppy.

When I can back out, it was still there. Someone was fussing it so I went over thinking it was the owner. It wasn't, and the man warned me that the dog had nipped him. As I was stood there it jumped up at me and rubbed its head against my hand. I gave it a stroke (I know it isn't advisable to go up to random dogs but it was a moment of weakness). The gorgeous little thing just wanted to play and be fussed. It did nip a couple of times, but it was clear it was only a young puppy and it was excited. I told it to stop and it did and just sat there calmly and let me stroke it.

Not long after, a woman came out of the shop, with a pram and another 3 or 4 kids with her. She was looking at me so I asked if it was her dog and she replied "It was". Obviously I asked her what she meant and she said she didn't want it anymore, and then offered him to me! I politely said no and questioned why she didn't want him and she kept saying he was horrible and she just didn't want him. She kept trying to get me to take him but I kept saying I already have 2 dogs and 3 cats and wouldn't be able to afford another one (plus just the day before my mum said there was no way we were having any more animals - she didn't want us to keep the cat we found in December). Also our dogs are going through a naughty stage at the moment and bringing a puppy in, even temporarily could be a bad idea...

I was trying to tell her that puppies are a little overexcited and (I had a feeling the nipping may be part of the problem) a bit mouthy but they will grow out of it. It took our dog a few months and then he settled down. She told me the puppy was 4 months old and I said it was normal behaviour and he just needed to be taught it wasn't acceptable.

She then made it fairly clear she was just going to leave the dog. I practically begged her not to, and said if she really REALLY didn't want him, to contact a rescue centre to see if they could help. She said she didn't have internet access so couldn't look any up, and said no to the question of whether a neighbour would allow her to use theirs. She then said "You contact them" to which I reponded that it was not my responsibility. I then (reluctantly) said that if she wouldn't contact a rescue, please at least contact the pound. I hate the thought of that, but it is still better than being dumped on the street...

None of the children looked happy about what the woman was saying, but they didn't look surprised either and I think they had just accepted it.

I left them and waited around the corner for a while to make sure they had gone, and went back to check they had taken the puppy with them, which they had.

It took all of my self restraint not to completely flip at her with what she was saying, especially in front of the children. What sort of lesson is she teaching them? Something isn't perfect straight away so give up on it?!

I have spent all night in tears wishing I could have taken him away from her, as she clearly doesn't care, there was no emotion in her voice at all. But I knew it wouldn't be fair on my other animals, even for a couple of hours as the puppy is very excitable and my dogs don't like others jumping on them, and it would probably terrify at least 2 of my cats. And this isn't my house, and my mum was at work, I couldn't just bring another animal back when she had made her feelings on the subject clear.

But I know, if I see the woman again and she still has the dog and asks me again, I will probably say yes... I just really hope she sorts something out that is good for the dog, and doesn't keep offering it to random people on the street...

eeejay174 · 20-05-2012, 09:29

oh poor you, I'd be heartbroken too. What a horrible woman, rehoming a dog is never an easy decision but because its a puppy? and she cant be bothered with the most basic training?? You did do the right thing, it isn't your responsibility. she has got be left to sort it out. I doubt she would have left it, she saw you were an animal lover and thought she'd try it on, and try and guilt you in to do doing it all for her. Can you remember what type of pup it was, colour etc?? might be worth asking the pound ladies, or on here, etc to watch out just so you can get peace of mind for a follow up. hopefully she'll find someone just as nice as you to take him, dont feel bad, you did do the right thing, ((hugs)) em

Berkana · 20-05-2012, 10:22

Just out of interest - what type of dog was it?

redstar1987 · 20-05-2012, 10:31

My first instinct was that it was a Shar Pei x Staffy from the build and the face. But When they are only young a lot of pups are a bit chunky and have a few wrinkles so I'm not 100%. It was mainly white with big light brown patches.

I really wish I had taken it now. When I told my mum she said she was very pleased I hadn't but understood my concerns. I know I did the right thing for my situation, I just really hope she either works with the pup, or finds him a good home, or at the very least leaves him in the care of a rescue or the pound...

ccit · 20-05-2012, 10:32

What a very sad story. Is it at all possible that you could find out who the woman is and where she lives? It would be best for puppy if it was taken to a rescue centre prior to rehoming. I am not recommending this but was just remembering a thread on here from a few days ago from a lady who wanted a free puppy. If any further information comes your way perhaps you could check it out?
The thread is here.

redstar1987 · 20-05-2012, 10:43

This was outside Co-op in Firth Park. Guessing they live fairly local. She was reluctant to give me any information, not even about the puppy. All I know from her is it is a 4 month old male, who is apparently 'horrible' but I saw no evidence of a bad dog, just a playful puppy. And I was so stunned at the lack of emotion I didn't question her as much as I should have. I would definitely know her if I saw her again and I am going to keep listening out locally as well...

angel22 · 20-05-2012, 22:31

If you see her again, take the dog off her. I'll have him until i can find him a decent, loving home. What a horrible person. (The dog's owner, i mean, not you redstar)

That must have been really hard for you to walk away from. A horrible situation to be in.

Moonbird · 21-05-2012, 13:00

You shouldn't feel guilty Redstar you just cannot save the whole world, I would have taken the puppy then worried about it because I'm pretty stupid like that

but like you I would have met a wall of disapproval from the family, really struggled for space and with existing animals, and would have had to find it a rescue place asap.

When we live with other people we do have to take their wishes into consideration, at least you tried to help as best you could and gave her good advice, some people just can't manage to be responsible for their own live and problems can they

angel22 · 21-05-2012, 13:08

Agree with Moonbird. You shouldn't feel giulty. You helped the best you could. Was thinking about this poor dog all night though. My friend works at the co-op in Firth Park, i'm going to text him and ask him to keep an eye out for this poor dog. If she's still trying to give the dog away, i'll tell him to take it and bring it to me. I know of a rescue that have a place for him. I'd keep him to start with until he was fully vaccinated then he'd go to them for rehoming.

redstar1987 · 21-05-2012, 13:24

Thanks for your replies.

I can't stop thinking about the dog and I'm really hoping that she does the best thing for the pup.

I am keeping a look out for the woman, and I am checking in windows to see if she posts about him in any. A couple of the people who work at Co-op saw the dog too that day, but had gone back inside before the woman came out.

I just don't understand how anyone can be as cold as the woman appeared to be. I guess I probably don't know the whole situation though.

And thank you angel22

angel22 · 21-05-2012, 13:28

My friend is going to keep a look out for the dog. He thinks he knows who the owner is. Well, he doesn't know her personally, only knows of her as a customer.

Rainrescue · 21-05-2012, 19:06

That sort of colouring - its possibly an american bulldog type puppy. The usual scenario is a mate breeds their dog, kids see puppy - ask for cute cuddly puppy and take it home to play with.

Mother stressed with so many kids around, can't cope with kids, let alone puppy that wants to bite and test its teeth out, also pees and pooh's all over the place, jumps up and scratches everyone. Mum finds out about dog crates, dog gets shoved in crate 20 hours a day (if its lucky its only that short), puppy comes out of crate - jumps all over everyone full of pee and pooh cos its SO pleased to see them all.

Mum just wants the dog to go away - kids end up wanting it to go away cos it makes mum mad.

Dog gets tied up where someone will find it.

Rescues are full up - or closing down. Pounds are bursting - there simply isn't enough room to take in all the dogs that idiots keep on breeding.

Take the dog back to where she got him/her from I would suggest. Let them cope with the trouble of finding him another home - maybe won't be quite so quick to breed another litter for the same to happen to yet again.

Sadly - we just see it all too often. Stop idiots over breeding and make them more of a desirable commodity - not a throw away item. Poor little one - doesn't stand a chance by the sound of things but certainly better away from that home if possible.

It must have been hard to witness and believe people could do this sort of thing - but believe me - it happens daily.

redstar1987 · 23-05-2012, 16:13

Rainrescue: You are probably right about the breed, and how they aquired it.

I really wish people would think more before they get a pet, too many are just being abandoned.

If only the government would realise that something needs to be done about irresponsible breeders. Make spaying/neutering complulsory and fine anyone found with an entire animal that is of an appropriate age/weight and has no health issues that are preventing it being 'fixed'. Anybody who is then found to be breeding (who is not registered and checked) then get a larger fine. It may not stop irresponsible breeders completely, but it would probably make it so that people don't think it is worth their time breeding.

angel22: Has your friend seen this woman since? I was telling a neighbour about it yesterday and they said they think they have seen her before and described her to me. They then said "Is it the brindle staffy she wants to get rid of?" So from the sound of it she has another dog as well if my neighbour is right...

Bubble3082 · 23-05-2012, 20:27

If you have no luck finding her and still want to, maybe its worth putting a few posters up? Not sure if it'll amount to anything but at least you'll know you've tried. Although I think you've done more than enough already hun; some people just treat animals as property and no amount of persuading will change that. Its not you who should feel guilty....you have a heart.

I3lade4life · 24-05-2012, 09:28

Maybe it would be worth looking for her near the local school. Thats if the kids she had with her were of school age???

redstar1987 · 24-05-2012, 10:27

I was thinking about that. I have a few people looking out for her but so far nothing. Wondering if she isn't local like I thought.. I'm just starting to think that a bit of time has passed and the dog may be gone now...

hello1964 · 25-05-2012, 08:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by redstar1987

Yesterday after work I decided to pop to the local shop for a few things, before I went in a noticed a young dog tied up outside. Didn't really think too much of it as people do it all the time, but couldn't help but feel it was a bit risky as there are a lot of mean people out there who wouldn't hesitate to take the puppy.

When I can back out, it was still there. Someone was fussing it so I went over thinking it was the owner. It wasn't, and the man warned me that the dog had nipped him. As I was stood there it jumped up at me and rubbed its head against my hand. I gave it a stroke (I know it isn't advisable to go up to random dogs but it was a moment of weakness). The gorgeous little thing just wanted to play and be fussed. It did nip a couple of times, but it was clear it was only a young puppy and it was excited. I told it to stop and it did and just sat there calmly and let me stroke it.

Not long after, a woman came out of the shop, with a pram and another 3 or 4 kids with her. She was looking at me so I asked if it was her dog and she replied "It was". Obviously I asked her what she meant and she said she didn't want it anymore, and then offered him to me! I politely said no and questioned why she didn't want him and she kept saying he was horrible and she just didn't want him. She kept trying to get me to take him but I kept saying I already have 2 dogs and 3 cats and wouldn't be able to afford another one (plus just the day before my mum said there was no way we were having any more animals - she didn't want us to keep the cat we found in December). Also our dogs are going through a naughty stage at the moment and bringing a puppy in, even temporarily could be a bad idea...

I was trying to tell her that puppies are a little overexcited and (I had a feeling the nipping may be part of the problem) a bit mouthy but they will grow out of it. It took our dog a few months and then he settled down. She told me the puppy was 4 months old and I said it was normal behaviour and he just needed to be taught it wasn't acceptable.

She then made it fairly clear she was just going to leave the dog. I practically begged her not to, and said if she really REALLY didn't want him, to contact a rescue centre to see if they could help. She said she didn't have internet access so couldn't look any up, and said no to the question of whether a neighbour would allow her to use theirs. She then said "You contact them" to which I reponded that it was not my responsibility. I then (reluctantly) said that if she wouldn't contact a rescue, please at least contact the pound. I hate the thought of that, but it is still better than being dumped on the street...

None of the children looked happy about what the woman was saying, but they didn't look surprised either and I think they had just accepted it.

I left them and waited around the corner for a while to make sure they had gone, and went back to check they had taken the puppy with them, which they had.

It took all of my self restraint not to completely flip at her with what she was saying, especially in front of the children. What sort of lesson is she teaching them? Something isn't perfect straight away so give up on it?!

I have spent all night in tears wishing I could have taken him away from her, as she clearly doesn't care, there was no emotion in her voice at all. But I knew it wouldn't be fair on my other animals, even for a couple of hours as the puppy is very excitable and my dogs don't like others jumping on them, and it would probably terrify at least 2 of my cats. And this isn't my house, and my mum was at work, I couldn't just bring another animal back when she had made her feelings on the subject clear.

But I know, if I see the woman again and she still has the dog and asks me again, I will probably say yes... I just really hope she sorts something out that is good for the dog, and doesn't keep offering it to random people on the street...

Someone like that will never do a thing to help any dog, her own or others`.
She needs to be made aware by the authorities that she cannot do this.
But they don`t care.

angel22 · 27-05-2012, 21:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by redstar1987

Rainrescue: You are probably right about the breed, and how they aquired it.

I really wish people would think more before they get a pet, too many are just being abandoned.

If only the government would realise that something needs to be done about irresponsible breeders. Make spaying/neutering complulsory and fine anyone found with an entire animal that is of an appropriate age/weight and has no health issues that are preventing it being 'fixed'. Anybody who is then found to be breeding (who is not registered and checked) then get a larger fine. It may not stop irresponsible breeders completely, but it would probably make it so that people don't think it is worth their time breeding.

angel22: Has your friend seen this woman since? I was telling a neighbour about it yesterday and they said they think they have seen her before and described her to me. They then said "Is it the brindle staffy she wants to get rid of?" So from the sound of it she has another dog as well if my neighbour is right...

No, my friend hasn't seen the lady unfortunately.

I think she'll possibly no longer have the dog by now if she really wanted to get rid of it. Poor little thing.

redstar1987 · 10-06-2012, 10:35

Sorry I haven't posted on here for a while. I didn't want to keep posting just to say that there was no news, but it seems like that isn't going to change.

Every time I am out I look out for her, and I have got my family and a few neighbours doing the same but I just haven't seen her since. Also, I go and hang around the shop each Saturday at about the same time I originally saw her. Nothing.

I spoke to one of the ladies who works at Co-op, who saw the puppy that day, and she says she hasn't seen him since...

Like angel22 says, she most likely no longer has him anymore.. I just really hope that whatever has happened, he is ok...

And my mum will have to be prepared for if something like this ever happens again...

angel22 · 10-06-2012, 15:53

My friend hasn't seen her about either. Poor little dog.