My daughter refuses to get up and go to school

Powerage · 24-02-2012, 13:13

I know most of the questions on this topic are about young kids but thought someone may have advice

My daughter is 15 and due to do her GCSE's in the summer, she has targets of mostly A's that she is expected to get so is not unintelligent, but for the last couple of months has totally refused to get up and go to school on time if she goes at all.

I and the school have tried everything talking to her arranging her extra help as she was saying she was stressed and getting behind, I have taken her to the doctors they took blood tests etc said there was nothing wrong with her.

I am afraid she is just letting any chance of further education drop from her grasp and will end up with nothing just another youngster getting jobseekers.

Every morning she gets extremly aggressive and nasty it is really starting to get me down now and affecting my health is there anything else I can do to try and sort this problem out any more help I can get from anywhere?

Alien52 · 24-02-2012, 16:00

This really is a sad situation.As a retired teacher with 35 years experience of working with children of this age group I am afraid to say there probably isn't anything you can do.I really do feel sorry for you.

SpeedDemon · 24-02-2012, 16:29

Is she having problems at school, with her friends for example? Does she see her school mates out of school? My daughter has just turned 16 n it's really hard trying to explain to them how important this year is

jenz245 · 24-02-2012, 17:36

I was exactly the same at her age. I did however get 6 A-C's, I gained employment straight away, I then went onto to working for an International insurance firm for 6 years, I Had a daughter and am now returning to studying. Im 27 next and I do believe I could have got better grades if I had tried but I also think the choices I am making now are much more informed and at 16/17 I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do or achieve. I now have a pretty clear goal and am working very hard to achieve this.
My parents drilled into me that being academic isn't the be all and end all BUT if I chose not to study I had to be working or else I could not stay there. May sound harsh but it sure did work. I now the employment climate isn't great and if she does end up claiming job seekers you could be firm and insist she carried out some voluntary work.
Good Luck

CHEZZFAYE · 24-02-2012, 19:18

is she getting bullied, she may not admit it to you but at school i got bullied and reacted in the exact same way.

if she is you need to act fast i ended up moving schools but i had dropped that far behind i went from the top of my year in year 9 to the bottom level in year 10. i finished year 10 and never went back

shazeroo · 25-02-2012, 08:11

Theres such a lot of pressure on the kids at that age - especially those with high target grades.
My daughter was the same. Every day she went to school and loved it up until year 10. Then the pressure was just too much for her. She was misserable and hated everyone and everything.
She finally got her head together in year 11 and was adament she didnt want to do A levels or go to university but she wanted to be a nursery nurse so she has applied for college in september. But the amount of hassle she had from teachers was unbelievable. Because she is an A* student they all 'want her grades'.
I ended up going to school and basically telling them to leave her alone - its her choice - I support her choice and they must stop bulling her into doing something she doesnt want to do.

If everything is ok with her friends - then I would look at her teachers.
They need encouragement at that age not pressure to get the school grade targets to look good.

Good luck and just remember she will come out of it with your love and understanding and support. Just let her know your there and you care.

CeeCee · 25-02-2012, 08:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Powerage

I know most of the questions on this topic are about young kids but thought someone may have advice

My daughter is 15 and due to do her GCSE's in the summer, she has targets of mostly A's that she is expected to get so is not unintelligent, but for the last couple of months has totally refused to get up and go to school on time if she goes at all.

I and the school have tried everything talking to her arranging her extra help as she was saying she was stressed and getting behind, I have taken her to the doctors they took blood tests etc said there was nothing wrong with her.

I am afraid she is just letting any chance of further education drop from her grasp and will end up with nothing just another youngster getting jobseekers.

Every morning she gets extremly aggressive and nasty it is really starting to get me down now and affecting my health is there anything else I can do to try and sort this problem out any more help I can get from anywhere?

Oh the joys of parenthood these days, wouldn't have happened when I was a kid one look/word from my mother or father and off to school we would have gone. To be honest we wouldn't have even tried it on as it was a given that we got up and went to school........ Try and be a bit more assertive as you are the parent and they are the child ! Good luck

pottedplant · 25-02-2012, 11:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by CeeCee

Oh the joys of parenthood these days, wouldn't have happened when I was a kid one look/word from my mother or father and off to school we would have gone. To be honest we wouldn't have even tried it on as it was a given that we got up and went to school........ Try and be a bit more assertive as you are the parent and they are the child ! Good luck

To be fair the OP does seem to have tried many things - how would you define "be more assertive"? what would you actually do?

I am sure they have tried cajoling , encouraging , giving sanction etc but when a 15 year old just won't go she can hardly be picked up and carried there.

Powerage · 28-02-2012, 12:12

Thank you for your answers. I really dont think she is being bullied as always has plenty of friends and a good social circle.

I think it may be the pressure off the teachers for the grades, I do really feel for the kids of today.

We have had a few words over the last few days and she has promised to go from now on and concentrate on her work so we shall see. Her exams are in the summer and she has applied to do A levels so she still is expecting to get her exams.

To CeeCee yes I have tried all you mentioned but have you tried forcing a 15 year old to school it's not that simple and she is very stubborn!!