Living with an alcoholic

Dolz · 15-07-2010, 07:45

I'm currently live with an alcoholic,although he's in denial,I'm looking for a place of my own,he's an x policeman ,with alot of anger ,g
hatred ,jealousy,an as a very cruel streak.he's abusiv ,violent,aggressive towards me.everytime I say leavin or go to family he either threatens suiside or me ,iv been to Womens aid an they can do little,iv rang the police they say it's a medical matter,I'm a prisoner ,no one wants to help ,he went on a drinks binge last week ,he kept sending tx messages sayin he was going to do the same to me as that man who was on the run last week who shot his x an boyfriend ,then shot hiself,I rang the contact from womans aid left a message ,no1 got bak to me,it's only a matter of time bfor he carrys out sum fatality , but no 1 wants to no

Jew Boy · 15-07-2010, 07:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dolz

I'm currently live with an alcoholic,although he's in denial,I'm looking for a place of my own,he's an x policeman ,with alot of anger ,g
hatred ,jealousy,an as a very cruel streak.he's abusiv ,violent,aggressive towards me.everytime I say leavin or go to family he either threatens suiside or me ,iv been to Womens aid an they can do little,iv rang the police they say it's a medical matter,I'm a prisoner ,no one wants to help ,he went on a drinks binge last week ,he kept sending tx messages sayin he was going to do the same to me as that man who was on the run last week who shot his x an boyfriend ,then shot hiself,I rang the contact from womans aid left a message ,no1 got bak to me,it's only a matter of time bfor he carrys out sum fatality , but no 1 wants to no

My bold.
They HAVE to take this seriously. Your partner needs help for his condition but so do you. Contact your GP and ask for his/her advce.
if things are unbareable then you need to leave and unortunatly if he chooses to end hs life because of it then you cant hold yourself responsible for that.
Peace and love to you

*Wallace* · 15-07-2010, 08:00

Very very worrying,get out whatever way you can get out.

capstan · 15-07-2010, 08:05

I totally agree with JB,you need to leave this enviroment as soon as possible,you must put your safety and well being first,His alcohol problem might be medical,but his abusive behaviour is not,keep contacting the relevant authorities until they take action,And as JB says whatever he does to himself that is his choice and you have nothing to blame yourself for. You are not alone and l and many many others are here to help and support you as much as we can.Take care Dolz

gina2007 · 15-07-2010, 08:15

Being an ex police officer shouldnt matter, they should deal with him and his violence towards you. My biological dad was like this (apart from he wasnt anything to do with the police force) and my mum put up with it for 16 years. Find somewhere you can go, get out, forget about how much youve put into the house/material things, you can get those again when you have a better life. Go to a different city/town - do you have relations anywhere else than the place your living? Contact them and ask/arrange to go there. Dont tell anyone else where you are, not even your own mother. Just pack an overnight bag, and go. You can sort out means and ways of living when you reach your destination - crisis loans are available. If you work, ask your manager if you can be transferred to a different place, if it isnt possible explain the situation and they should be understanding but swear them to secrecy - if they cant transfer you, dont tell them where you are going incase he goes and scares someone there into telling them. And if youre really struggling to get to the new area - PM me and my bloke will drive you there. I dont wish this on anyone, I had to watch my mum go through it and when she finally left she got put at the other end of the same estate and the trouble never stopped!! I so wish she couldve flitted to London or Scotland just away from Sheffield. Good luck dolz x

gina2007 · 15-07-2010, 08:17

And delete the history off your computer/laptop - if hes that controlling he'll be checking up on you day after day - if youve got windows 7 browse in private windows

xx

Glennis · 15-07-2010, 08:17

Citizens Advice may also help

halfwaythere · 15-07-2010, 08:19

Hi, so sorry to hear this.....until you make a move then i think he will keep up the drink .....only return when he has proven himself to both of you.lifes to short to keep waiting around for someone with no purpose to have a normal life........is there a underlying issue he has about the past.......usually there is.....get it out of him & make light of this problem.....good luck...i feel for you.

Dolz · 15-07-2010, 09:17

im workin on it trust me

sedith · 15-07-2010, 09:22

He's not a forum member by any chance is he? If he is, it might be an idea to get this thread removed?

Dozy · 15-07-2010, 09:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dolz

I'm currently live with an alcoholic,although he's in denial,I'm looking for a place of my own,he's an x policeman ,with alot of anger ,g
hatred ,jealousy,an as a very cruel streak.he's abusiv ,violent,aggressive towards me.everytime I say leavin or go to family he either threatens suiside or me ,iv been to Womens aid an they can do little,iv rang the police they say it's a medical matter,I'm a prisoner ,no one wants to help ,he went on a drinks binge last week ,he kept sending tx messages sayin he was going to do the same to me as that man who was on the run last week who shot his x an boyfriend ,then shot hiself,I rang the contact from womans aid left a message ,no1 got bak to me,it's only a matter of time bfor he carrys out sum fatality , but no 1 wants to no

My bold

Absolute poppycock!! If he's violent, then it's their job to respond, it doesn't matter why he's violent.

Contact the police again and tell them about the text messages - say you'll forward them on to them, so they can see just what he's threatening. It's appalling that they think they can get away with ignoring what's happening to you.

Dolz · 15-07-2010, 11:02

i no,he thinks he can get away wiyh anything,he got a speeding fine the other week,he wanted me to lie saying i was driving ,i refused an said i would send for the photogrph evidence,you can imagine what i got next,i think the police should take responsibility for him ,as he says hes like he is cos of what he went threw as a policeman,but in my eyes its easy to blame everybody else for his actions aspeacially against me

daftlad · 15-07-2010, 11:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dolz

i no,he thinks he can get away wiyh anything,he got a speeding fine the other week,he wanted me to lie saying i was driving ,i refused an said i would send for the photogrph evidence,you can imagine what i got next,i think the police should take responsibility for him ,as he says hes like he is cos of what he went threw as a policeman,but in my eyes its easy to blame everybody else for his actions aspeacially against me

I think you should get out, he sounds a pathetic excuse for man, blaming his own problems on you. Tell him to grow up up and get a life. i am sure it was not a bed of roses being a policeman but we all have things in life that are difficult, its just the vast majority people deal with them in a sensible way or seek help. By help I dont mean knocking anyone around or hitting bottle.

depoix · 15-07-2010, 11:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glennis

Citizens Advice may also help

they can ,they have a list of womens refuge centres that could put the op up until she finds a place of her own ,therewill be other women there who she can relate to and im sure it would be a lot of help

shaz112 · 15-07-2010, 11:26

I have PM'd you Dolz. x

Dolz · 15-07-2010, 12:36

thanx for that shaz,i have two small dogs i need to home somewere tempory as well, i dont even trust him with them as he knows how much they mean too me,ill try that number you sent me

shaz112 · 15-07-2010, 12:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dolz

thanx for that shaz,i have two small dogs i need to home somewere tempory as well, i dont even trust him with them as he knows how much they mean too me,ill try that number you sent me

If you create a thread in the pet section I'm sure there's a few people on there who'd be happy to help with your dogs.

Dolz · 15-07-2010, 12:41

thanx again,ill do that

patty1142 · 15-07-2010, 13:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dolz

I'm currently live with an alcoholic,although he's in denial,I'm looking for a place of my own,he's an x policeman ,with alot of anger ,g
hatred ,jealousy,an as a very cruel streak.he's abusiv ,violent,aggressive towards me.everytime I say leavin or go to family he either threatens suiside or me ,iv been to Womens aid an they can do little,iv rang the police they say it's a medical matter,I'm a prisoner ,no one wants to help ,he went on a drinks binge last week ,he kept sending tx messages sayin he was going to do the same to me as that man who was on the run last week who shot his x an boyfriend ,then shot hiself,I rang the contact from womans aid left a message ,no1 got bak to me,it's only a matter of time bfor he carrys out sum fatality , but no 1 wants to no

leave him now, or live his life. your choice.

Dolz · 15-07-2010, 15:38

iv been trying to leave for so long,i av had no were to go,ive tryed everything,housing private rents, but private rents never accept pets,an i no its sad but theyve been my saviour these past few months,im pullin out all stops ,im trying my best to find somwere