[falpere]

My daughter came home tonight, and my wife and I noticed bruising on her left arm. After a while she owned up to having one of these http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...ung-as-12.html

Her story is that all the girls have them to help control their periods.

She went to the family planning clinic to have it put in without our consent. She is FOURTEEN!!

I am a little upset at the moment to express my true feelings on the matter, but feel I need to warn parents about what is going on.

No daft replies please, could do with a little support on how to deal with the matter.

[donuticus]

What is it that you don't agree with?

She can ask for birth control and the clinic do ot have to inform her parents. She can consent to a medicl procedure if she can be seen to fully understand the implications.

Personally I would be a little disappointed that she hadn't spoken with me before doing it but would be proud that she had used her brain and made a conscious decision to do something.

Before you panic you should ask her why she has had it fitted. It may not be as a method of birth control, if that's what you're concerned about, but I know of two of my friends who have had them fitted as they help relieve period pains.

[millhouses24]

Originally Posted by donuticus

What is it that you don't agree with?

She can ask for birth control and the clinic do ot have to inform her parents. She can consent to a medicl procedure if she can be seen to fully understand the implications.

Personally I would be a little disappointed that she spoken with me before doing it but would be proud that she had used her brain and made a conscious decision to do something.

Before yu panic you should ask her why she has had it fitted. It may not be as a method of birth control, if that's what you're concerned about, but I know of two of my friends who have had them fitted as they help relieve period pains.

I agree. Bad period pains = missed exams/classes/work as well as sometimes being absolute agony (I've had teachers call an ambulance for me because I looked so green and virtually passed out at times ) so it's a good and responsible idea.

Contrary to what certain right wing newspapers say, being responsible about contraception and your reproductive health is NOT a bad thing.

[Plain Talker]

So, I take it you'd prefer her to suffer the painful periods, then?

Do you think it's better that at 14, she's mature enough of thinking to have treatment for the painful periods, and that she is also seemingly forward-thinking to also be taking sensible steps to ensure she doesn't make you and Mrs Falpere into grandparents before you (And she) are ready?

[HayleyJayne]

Originally Posted by falpere

My daughter came home tonight, and my wife and I noticed bruising on her left arm. After a while she owned up to having one of these http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...ung-as-12.html

Her story is that all the girls have them to help control their periods.

She went to the family planning clinic to have it put in without our consent. She is FOURTEEN!!

I am a little upset at the moment to express my true feelings on the matter, but feel I need to warn parents about what is going on.

No daft replies please, could do with a little support on how to deal with the matter.

I am 21 so not long a teenager... 14 year olds girls are more mature than you think and personally I think she is being sensible as it not only helps with periods, its stops her getting pregnant. I always went to my mum about most things but it depends on your parents and their reactions... If I was you I would speak to her like an adult, she has made a very mature and adult decision regarding her own body and you should use it as an opportunity to talk to her about why she made the decision to have it and show your support.

I am watching the same thing with my nieces and it is strange as I still see them as little girls but they grow up fast in the world we live in...

When I was a year older than your daughter I ended up pregnant, with my long term boyfriend at the time, and had to have an abortion, I didnt tell anyone for years - however I handled it suprisingly well. I was using protections by the way... it just didnt work.

At least with the implant she isnt going to go through this anytime soon and if you respect her decision and speak to her like she is an adult you will get the same back. She may even use it as an opportunity to open up about 'grown up stuff' and ask questions and she will probobaly suprise you.

I know this sounds strange but if my niece (aged 14) was mature enough to make such an informed decision by herself I would be very proud. But that is just my age and generation.

[HayleyJayne]

Originally Posted by Plain Talker

So, I take it you'd prefer her to suffer the painful periods, then?

Do you think it's better that at 14, she's mature enough of thinking to have treatment for the painful periods, and that she is also seemingly forward-thinking to also be taking sensible steps to ensure she doesn't make you and Mrs Falpere into grandparents before you (And she) are ready?

I agree... I think she sounds like a very mature and sensible young girl!

[medusa]

I spent my teenage years passing out through the pain for 5 days a month- if implants were available then I'd have had one. No questions and I know that my mum would have been fine with it because she was the one who picked me up, hugged me and tried to help me be OK with it all.

[falpere]

Originally Posted by donuticus

What is it that you don't agree with?

She can ask for birth control and the clinic do ot have to inform her parents. She can consent to a medicl procedure if she can be seen to fully understand the implications.

Personally I would be a little disappointed that she spoken with me before doing it but would be proud that she had used her brain and made a conscious decision to do something.

Before yu panic you should ask her why she has had it fitted. It may not be as a method of birth control, if that's what you're concerned about, but I know of two of my friends who have had them fitted as they help relieve period pains.

Birth control before the age of consent is one of my worries. But my head is all over the place at the moment and my main concern is that she is being groomed by some perv or pimp.

She had her ear pierced about two years ago and I had to be with her to give my consent.

All of a sudden children can turn up at a clinic and have something inserted into their bodies to prevent pregnancy before the age of consent without their parents being informed.

What is it that I don't agree with!!!?

Are you serious?

I asked for no daft replies. Not too much to ask is it?

A lot of parents are not aware of what is going on, I am/was one of them.

[rubydazzler]

I have to confess that I'd gone ape**** if my daughter had been given medical treatment of that sort without my knowledge at the tender age of 14 For a start, how would you not know if she was suffering from painful periods? You'd have sought medical advice for her about it. So I think we can throw that reason out of court.

What about safe sex, just to reduce it to basics? Are kids just going to have unprotected sex and throw the idea of keeping sexually healthy out of the window? No wonder we've got so many young people with STDs. And something like this being put into immature bodies, who knows what the long term effects might be. It's also leaving girls especially with no 'excuse' if they're being pressured into having sex before they're ready for it.

I don't know what you can do realistically, if it's actually legal for the medical profession to do this sort of thing, but I do think it's wrong. I'd certainly be wanting to have a straight talk with whoever sanctioned it at the family planning clinic.

[Alien]

Originally Posted by falpere

My daughter came home tonight, and my wife and I noticed bruising on her left arm. After a while she owned up to having one of these http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...ung-as-12.html

Her story is that all the girls have them to help control their periods.

She went to the family planning clinic to have it put in without our consent. She is FOURTEEN!!

I am a little upset at the moment to express my true feelings on the matter, but feel I need to warn parents about what is going on.

No daft replies please, could do with a little support on how to deal with the matter.

Hi...Is the issue more to do with your daughter not confiding in you prior to making the decision she made?

[Squiggs]

Originally Posted by rubydazzler

I'd certainly be wanting to have a straight talk with whoever sanctioned it at the family planning clinic.

Ah but be thankfull you'd have the time. Otherwise the trip to the family planning might be for another reason

[millhouses24]

Originally Posted by falpere

Birth control before the age of consent is one of my worries. But my head is all over the place at the moment and my main concern is that she is being groomed by some perv or pimp.

She had her ear pierced about two years ago and I had to be with her to give my consent.

All of a sudden children can turn up at a clinic and have something inserted into their bodies to prevent pregnancy before the age of consent without their parents being informed.

What is it that I don't agree with!!!?

Are you serious?

I asked for no daft replies. Not too much to ask is it?

A lot of parents are not aware of what is going on, I am/was one of them.

Do us a favour? Stay on this thread and listen to a few of the replies before talking to your daughter

I've never had an implant, but if it works in the same way as the pill it can be used for controlling period pains as well as for preventing conception (help me out here Medusa ).

HAVING THE IMPLANT DOES NOT MEAN YOUR DAUGHTER IS OR IS BEING ENCOURAGED TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE.

[donuticus]

Originally Posted by falpere

Birth control before the age of consent is one of my worries. But my head is all over the place at the moment and my main concern is that she is being groomed by some perv or pimp.

She had her ear pierced about two years ago and I had to be with her to give my consent.

All of a sudden children can turn up at a clinic and have something inserted into their bodies to prevent pregnancy before the age of consent without their parents being informed.

What is it that I don't agree with!!!?

Are you serious?

I asked for no daft replies. Not too much to ask is it?


A lot of parents are not aware of what is going on, I am/was one of them.

The implant doesn't just prevent pregnancy as several other posters have also said it can help to relieve period pain and stop very heavy periods.

Maybe the fact you've jumped down my throat for pointing this out is the reason she felt she couldn't speak to you about it.

Why not ask her why she has had it fitted? Is it as a birth control method or as a way to control her periods?

Either way at least she has the intelligence to make a concious decision about her health.

[falpere]

Originally Posted by medusa

I spent my teenage years passing out through the pain for 5 days a month- if implants were available then I'd have had one. No questions and I know that my mum would have been fine with it because she was the one who picked me up, hugged me and tried to help me be OK with it all.

And you would have consulted your mum before having the implant.

My daughter does not suffer from severe period pains, We have a good understanding between us about this matter, so much so that I nip out to the local shop to fill the basket with nothing more than a packet of tampons much to my embaresment! but I get on with it.

This is more to do with pier pressure, and the fact that a young teenager can have something inserted into her body without the consent of her parents.

[missflirtuk]

I have the implant in and it has made my periods worse if anything. It could make hers worse as well each individual is different. I agree with the fact that surely they could have asked you before they put it in. God damn it she's 14 not even the legal age for sex. If my daughter had it put it in without explaining about her bad periods I would go mad, as I am sure there are stuff the doctors can do or give to calm her periods down instead of having an implant put in. I was told it can make your periods disappear, stay the same or have light spotting. It makes me have even more bad pains than I did before, I always feel sick, get really cranky and feel absolutely shocking for about a week. Then I have bleeding in between (but they can give you a pill to help with that) but I would rather put up with all the negatives I have just listed than have another baby yet. Be angry with the person who put it in and didn't check it out with you rather than your daughter.

[AJ sheffield]

Regardless of the benefits I still cant help think this is just another step towards the sexualisation of children.

[HayleyJayne]

Originally Posted by falpere

Birth control before the age of consent is one of my worries. But my head is all over the place at the moment and my main concern is that she is being groomed by some perv or pimp.

She had her ear pierced about two years ago and I had to be with her to give my consent.

All of a sudden children can turn up at a clinic and have something inserted into their bodies to prevent pregnancy before the age of consent without their parents being informed.

What is it that I don't agree with!!!?

Are you serious?

I asked for no daft replies. Not too much to ask is it?

A lot of parents are not aware of what is going on, I am/was one of them.

14 isnt a child though... 14 is a young adult! It is her body, let her make her own decision and support her! To be honest I think you are forgetting what it is like being young and dealing with this stuff... I think you are viewing her as a child rather than a young adult and she is prob more grown up than you think.

Seriously, if you fly off the handle at your daughter you will push her away... this is helping her periods and stopping her from getting pregnant if/when she is sexually active... you dont need to hold her hand though everything you know... at 14 she can make these decisions and do it her self and rightly so!

With regards to the age of consent... natures way of saying a girl/woman is ready to have children is her first period and she is therefore ready to have sex... just because there is some legistlation stating that she needs to be 16 it doesnt make it right!

Give her some space and support her... that way she will be able to come to you about these things in the future.

[falpere]

Originally Posted by donuticus

The implant doesn't just prevent pregnancy as several other posters have also said it can help to relieve period pain and stop very heavy periods.

Maybe the fact you've jumped down my throat for pointing this out is the reason she felt she couldn't speak to you about it.

Why not ask her why she has had it fitted? Is it as a birth control method or as a way to control her periods?

Either way at least she has the intelligence to make a concious decision about her health.

I see your point donuticus. Try and see mine. We are talking about a fourteen year old, not a forty year old.

[medusa]

Originally Posted by falpere

And you would have consulted your mum before having the implant.

My daughter does not suffer from severe period pains, We have a good understanding between us about this matter, so much so that I nip out to the local shop to fill the basket with nothing more than a packet of tampons much to my embaresment! but I get on with it.

This is more to do with pier pressure, and the fact that a young teenager can have something inserted into her body without the consent of her parents.

Errr no, I went on the pill at the same age for the same reasons and I neither consulted my mum nor took her with me.

She credited me with being an intelligent human being who had been brought up to have a brain in my head and the ability to make decisions for myself, and that's exactly what I did.

[HayleyJayne]

Originally Posted by falpere

I see your point donuticus. Try and see mine. We are talking about a fourteen year old, not a forty year old.

This is an article about having sex before age of consent...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4784939.st

1 in 3 have sex before they are 16...