Should We Ban Smoking On Mountains?

Jabberwocky · 25-03-2010, 10:13

I live close to a place called Bardon hill, Its the highest point in Leicestershire and aparrantly its one metre short of being classed as a mountain.

From the top of there you can see Sugar loaf mountain in Wales and its a beautiful place to visit and a good healthy hike to the top, Im always up there and just an hour or so up there frees you of all the cares you take with you.
The wind thats always blowing, even when its calm and quiet in the town is refreshing and blows the cob webs away!

But.

I was up there on Sunday and I found a...

I found a...

A TAB END!

Its obvious that some terrorist- some THUG had been smoking up there!

What the HELL is the point of walking to the top of Bardon when youre going to undo all the good work that the climb has done by smoking a fag???

What about the people in the towns of Coalville, Loughborough and Nottingham? WHAT ABOUT THEM, EH???? Theyre going to have to inhale all that POISON as the wind blows it all over the place!!!!

And what about the motorists on the M1???

I can imagine them winding the windows of their lorrys, buses and coaches to stop themselves being poisoned by this cloud of terror- its patently obvious that the cig is a billion times more lethal than all the diesel fumes theyre belching out all day long!

Poppets, snugglebunnies... I put it to you that we should ban smoking on high, windy places- or at least have a man with a red flag running ahead of the smoke cloud and warning people that DEATH IS ON THE WAY!!!!!!

Whaddya think...?

Grandad.Malky · 25-03-2010, 10:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jabberwocky

Whaddya think...?

Good idea

Jabberwocky · 25-03-2010, 10:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malky

Good idea

I..

I...

It was my tab end...

I cant hold it in any longer, the guilt was killing me!

IT WAS MY DAMN TAB END!

perplexed · 25-03-2010, 10:21

[QUOTE=Jabberwocky;6061415]I live close to a place called Bardon hill, Its the highest point in Leicestershire and aparrantly its one metre short of being classed as a mountain.

From the top of there you can see Sugar loaf mountain in Wales and its a beautiful place to visit and a good healthy hike to the top, Im always up there and just an hour or so up there frees you of all the cares you take with you.
The wind thats always blowing, even when its calm and quiet in the town is refreshing and blows the cob webs away!

But.

I was up there on Sunday and I found a...

I found a...

A TAB END!

Its obvious that some terrorist- some THUG had been smoking up there!

What the HELL is the point of walking to the top of Bardon when youre going to undo all the good work that the climb has done by smoking a fag???

What about the people in the towns of Coalville, Loughborough and Nottingham? WHAT ABOUT THEM, EH???? Theyre going to have to inhale all that POISON as the wind blows it all over the place!!!!

And what about the motorists on the M1???

I can imagine them winding the windows of their lorrys, buses and coaches to stop themselves being poisoned by this cloud of terror- its patently obvious that the cig is a billion times more lethal than all the diesel fumes theyre belching out all day long!

Poppets, snugglebunnies... I put it to you that we should ban smoking on high, windy places- or at least have a man with a red flag running ahead of the smoke cloud and warning people that DEATH IS ON THE WAY!!!!!!

Whaddya think...?[/QUOTE]

I think you should give Hugh Grant a call, see if he can help you out.

Grandad.Malky · 25-03-2010, 10:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jabberwocky

I..

I...

It was my tab end...

I cant hold it in any longer, the guilt was killing me!

IT WAS MY DAMN TAB END!

How many tab ends will you have to drop to make up that metre and have it reclassified as a mountain?

Jabberwocky · 25-03-2010, 10:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by Malky

How many tab ends will you have to drop to make up that metre and have it reclassified as a mountain?

Dont think that question hadnt crossed my mind....

The Yorkshireman who went up a hill and came down a mountain... with one lung and nicotine stained teeth.

Fogey · 25-03-2010, 11:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jabberwocky

I..

I...

It was my tab end...

I cant hold it in any longer, the guilt was killing me!

IT WAS MY DAMN TAB END!

You smokers are so dam inconsiderate, what if your smoking on top of a mountain/big hill had been mistaken for a volcano? Mass evacuations and panic, - probably death. And then when a volcanoe does erupt nobody will escape in time because they will all think its a smoker, I hope you're proud of yourself.

purdyamos · 25-03-2010, 11:06

I think it's worth bearing in mind that at that altitude the effects of inhaling a cigarette are multiplied by significant order of magnitude, greatly speeding up the toxic internal processes. The protective antioxidant effects of, say, a cup of tea are not available at such heights due to the inability to boil water, which exacerbates the danger. No ban is necessary as the culprit will likely perish within a matter of months through their own recklessness, which is surely punishment enough.

trophyman · 25-03-2010, 11:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jabberwocky

Dont think that question hadnt crossed my mind....

The Yorkshireman who went up a hill and came down a mountain... with one lung and nicotine stained teeth.

I hope to god that when you got back in coalville you searched out the nearest bus and inhaled those refreshing fumes to flush out this obscene act of selfishness. you ought to be ashamed. Bet you repeated the act in the car with the kids on the way home too

shane39 · 25-03-2010, 11:10

Are you sure it aint been dropped by the famous Bardon Buzzard?They like to pick out all the cotton woolly bit from the filter to line their nest.

Anna Glypta · 25-03-2010, 11:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by shane39

Are you sure it aint been dropped by the famous Bardon Buzzard?They like to pick out all the cotton woolly bit from the filter to line their nest.

I thought they just swallowed them and then died a slow painfull death as a result. That's what most wildlife does with them.

shane39 · 25-03-2010, 11:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna Glypta

I thought they just swallowed them and then died a slow painfull death as a result. That's what most wildlife does with them.

Yes but roadkill,mountainkill or whatever tastes lovely,(if ya get to them before the maggots)

Jabberwocky · 25-03-2010, 12:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by shane39

Yes but roadkill,mountainkill or whatever tastes lovely,(if ya get to them before the maggots)

Actually...

I wonder if theres a sort of... maggot line....?

You get a tree line on a mountain where the trees stop and that gives way to....I dont know... tundra and rocks and stuff... I wonder if you get to a height where flies cant... you know... fly... I wonder of they have to hike up there too....

Not that Bardon has a tree line. Its pretty high but... compared to Yorkshire its not that high, Ive seen bigger bellies on Barnsley lads!

Rupert_Baehr · 25-03-2010, 12:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by purdyamos

I think it's worth bearing in mind that at that altitude the effects of inhaling a cigarette are multiplied by significant order of magnitude, greatly speeding up the toxic internal processes. The protective antioxidant effects of, say, a cup of tea are not available at such heights due to the inability to boil water, which exacerbates the danger. No ban is necessary as the culprit will likely perish within a matter of months through their own recklessness, which is surely punishment enough.

I wish I'd known that earlier ... I must be dead.

But those things you've got aren't mountains - more like a pimple on an elephant's bum.

Rupert_Baehr · 25-03-2010, 12:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jabberwocky

Actually...

I wonder if theres a sort of... maggot line....?

You get a tree line on a mountain where the trees stop and that gives way to....I dont know... tundra and rocks and stuff...

The Stuff's mainly mountain goat poop.