Happiness and it's Downsides

KTHFB · 03-09-2009, 12:19

I'm at a point in my life right now where I can actually say I'm really happy. Sure, there are a few things I'd change, like having my foster mum back, but by and by I'm loving life right now.

I have a friendship that's going very well, I'm currently learning to drive and that's getting me out and about and I'm making plans for when (there's no if

) I pass my test, places to go, people to visit etc etc etc. That's just 2 things that are going well....

I'm walking around with a constant smile on my face and people are commenting that I have a spring in my step and generally looking healthier and happier.

My problem is I'm now waiting for something to go wrong. I can't help it, and can't stop the feeling that something IS going to go wrong. I'm worried too that because I'm waiting for something to go wrong, I'm going to actively CAUSE something to upset me.

Does anyone else ever have that feeling? If so, do you do anything about it, or are there any techniques that can help you overcome the feeling? I'm staying positive right now, but I do wonder.....

spinac · 03-09-2009, 12:36

They say that "What you think about comes about" - if you think you're happy, more than likely you'll be happy. However ... positive thoughts won't stop bad things happening BUT you'll feel more in control and better able to deal with them when they do.

If you start thinking bad things will happen, you're subconscious mind will set about proving you right. Nobody likes being wrong do they?

Keep the positive energy you're feeling right now and use it when something bad happens. If you tell yourself you feel strong enough to deal with whatever life throws at you, then chances are you will be.

If you go looking for trouble and for something to upset you - my bet is you'll easily find it!

It's your choice!

wiz* · 03-09-2009, 12:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by KTHFB

I'm loving life right now.... I'm currently learning to drive .....

I envy you! Learning to drive has been putting the fear of god into me! I also tend to beat myself up about something if I can't grasp it immediately....and it turns out i'm not a natural behind the wheel!!

foxforcefive · 03-09-2009, 12:48

I think the best thing to do is enjoy being happy with your life while you are, I am ever the optimist normally, but I don't believe its possible to feel like it for ever, so really savour every moment while its good.

It's the best feeling in the world when you have something that constantly makes you smile.

sophiec1979 · 03-09-2009, 12:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by KTHFB

My problem is I'm now waiting for something to go wrong. I can't help it, and can't stop the feeling that something IS going to go wrong. I'm worried too that because I'm waiting for something to go wrong, I'm going to actively CAUSE something to upset me.

i completely identify with that feeling!

deep down you know what youre thinking is daft, so just treat it as one of those passing daft thoughts, forget about it and just carry on enjoying what is immediately happening in your life.

that always sounds so easy when you say it, but i promise, with everything that youve got on at the mo...it really wont be that hard!

x

testydonkey · 03-09-2009, 13:28

Just be down miserable like the rest of us, then it wont be much of a surprise/shock when *** does hit the fan.

spinac · 03-09-2009, 20:12

Ahhh ... what would the world be like if we were all a little bit more Tigger and a little bit less Eeyore?

Sad but true: "Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy."

I'd say trying to be happier and failing is better than aspiring to be more miserable and succeeding ...

I like the idea of having "Always look on the bright side of life" played at my funeral ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

Remember that? Altogether now ...

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistle]

If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life

more here ... http://www.geocities.com/fang_club/B...e_of_life.html

mojo1 · 03-09-2009, 20:16

Happiness is a wonderful thing and just because something bad happens it doesn't mean you can't still be happy.

True happiness is from within and nothing can take that away. I've loved seeing how smiley you are lately and I hope you stay that way.

Bad stuff happens, it's how you deal with it that matters.

Stay happy, lovey xx

epiphany · 03-09-2009, 20:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by KTHFB

I'm at a point in my life right now where I can actually say I'm really happy. Sure, there are a few things I'd change, like having my foster mum back, but by and by I'm loving life right now.

I have a friendship that's going very well, I'm currently learning to drive and that's getting me out and about and I'm making plans for when (there's no if

) I pass my test, places to go, people to visit etc etc etc. That's just 2 things that are going well....

I'm walking around with a constant smile on my face and people are commenting that I have a spring in my step and generally looking healthier and happier.

My problem is I'm now waiting for something to go wrong. I can't help it, and can't stop the feeling that something IS going to go wrong. I'm worried too that because I'm waiting for something to go wrong, I'm going to actively CAUSE something to upset me.

Does anyone else ever have that feeling? If so, do you do anything about it, or are there any techniques that can help you overcome the feeling? I'm staying positive right now, but I do wonder.....

Cute!

I am feeling quite happy too

I usually feel more comfortably numb than happy, but lately I have just been a right jolly fellow. Guffaw.

Don't worry about things going wrong. Deal with challenges as they are dealt to you, and relish them, because you know that when you rise back up, you'll be your bouncy happy self again!

I honestly think there is a finer line between

and

than people think. Sure, you can slip into

or even

but if you can turn

into

then you're sorted.

Sorry I have had a drop of port.

Hic.

Bloomdido · 03-09-2009, 21:10

We have to know sadness to appreciate happiness.

spinac · 03-09-2009, 22:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bloomdido

We have to know sadness to appreciate happiness.

Sure ... but when the happiness arrives, don't go looking for more sadness!

"If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine"

spinac · 03-09-2009, 22:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojo1

True happiness is from within and nothing can take that away.

So true mojo - but so many are still looking outside of themselves to find happiness!

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves,
and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." Agnes Repplier

Quote:

Originally Posted by epiphany

I honestly think there is a finer line between

and

than people think. Sure, you can slip into

or even

but if you can turn

into

then you're sorted.

Nice one epiphany - Can I use it? http://www.q2do.com/Quotes/QuotesDis...goryID=19#4085 (not same smilies, but close enough?)

Quote:

Originally Posted by epiphany

Sorry I have had a drop of port.

Hic.

Is it Christmas? What the heck. Cheers!

*_ash_* · 03-09-2009, 23:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bloomdido

We have to know sadness to appreciate happiness.

Y'know, I have had a similar thought in the past... but slightly different

It's almost the same, but involves sickness and health.

You know when you are poorly and feel like crap? and see everyone else just going about life, and not acknowledging or appreciating their own good health... you think, you lucky git!

Hence, I agree with this..

Quote:

I think the best thing to do is enjoy being happy with your life while you are

..with acknowledgment and appreciation.

espadrille · 04-09-2009, 05:04

It is hard for me to put myself in your shoes as one of the positive things about having Asperger Syndrome is that I live in the moment and find it hard to think about what may happen.
The great thing about that is that I dont really worry what is round the corner, so my advice would be the live in the moment.Life is really too short to let that slip away and I do agree that you will condition yourself to making the bad things happen.
The mind is a very powerful thing and we underestimate how our thinking actually controls our moods.

spinac · 04-09-2009, 07:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by *_ash_*

Y'know, I have had a similar thought in the past... but slightly different

It's almost the same, but involves sickness and health.

You know when you are poorly and feel like crap? and see everyone else just going about life, and not acknowledging or appreciating their own good health... you think, you lucky git!

Hence, I agree with this..

..with acknowledgment and appreciation.

It's useful to remind yourself that when you are well that there are people suffering and dying who use that as a spur, not to feel sorry for themselves, but to help others. Remember Jane Tomlinson?

Remember the old Scottish proverb?

"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead."

Whatever happens to ya, don't worry! Be Happy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4uG2kSdd-4

KTHFB · 04-09-2009, 09:30

Thank you all for your replies as I can't do all the multi-quoting. I'm just going to quit worrying and ride the happy train whilst it's here!

I AM still smiling by the way!

Dozy · 04-09-2009, 10:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by KTHFB

Thank you all for your replies as I can't do all the multi-quoting. I'm just going to quit worrying and ride the happy train whilst it's here!

I AM still smiling by the way!

Good for you, girl! Worrying doesn't stop things happening - neither does it make them happen. Next time you have a dose of the worries, watch this, it'll cheer you up.

mojo1 · 04-09-2009, 10:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by KTHFB

Thank you all for your replies as I can't do all the multi-quoting. I'm just going to quit worrying and ride the happy train whilst it's here!

I AM still smiling by the way!

That's bloody good to know

So am I, despite everything... roll on Christmas.

spinac · 04-09-2009, 11:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojo1

That's bloody good to know

So am I, despite everything... roll on Christmas.

Hi mojo, You're smiling despite everything ... roll on Christmas

Does "everything" go away at Christmas?

What can be done to lessen everything and make your smile wider before Xmas?

Agent Orange · 04-09-2009, 11:29

I am glad you are happy and smiley. Just grasp the happiness (joking aside) and enjoy every minute of it. Don't waste energy worrying about something that might never happen.

Anyhow, I am very happy too. Things in my life are just where I want them, right now ant that makes me........................