[SilentStatic]

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an
argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.

GO AHEAD.

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful
and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."


*hides*

[muddycoffee]

"There's a motorway stop over there"
This means pull of the motorway into the stop immediately. It is not just an observation.


"Do you want a coffee?"
This means Buy me a coffee now.

[Plain Talker]

at last! someone who speaks my language!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

PT

[Draggletail]

'The kitchen bin is full'
Translation: Will you empty the kitchen bin.
And so many others like it.
*heaves deep sigh*

[rubydazzler]

Originally posted by Draggletail
'The kitchen bin is full'
Translation: Will you empty the kitchen bin.
And so many others like it.
*heaves deep sigh*

so Draggle, hon ... if you KNOW what it means, why not just do it without it having to be pointed out a million times ... and then in the end forcing us to say "for god's sake empty the damn bin will you !"... in an engraged and maniacal voice

or is that just me???

(wanders off to look up histrionic personality disorder again)

[Strix]

Strix's cousin: 'Can *Mr Strix* go to Istanbul?
Strix: 'Yes'
Strix's cousin: 'But can *Mr Strix* go to Istanbul?
Strix: 'Of course'
Strix's cousin: So he can go to Istanbul then?
Strix: 'Yes'

Translation:
Strix's cousin: 'Can *Mr Strix* go to Istanbul?
Strix: 'I'm not going to say no'
Strix's cousin: 'But can *Mr Strix* go to Istanbul?
Strix: 'He knows better than to say he will'
Strix's cousin: So he can go to Istanbul then?
Strix: 'He bloody daren't'

[saxon51]

IF YOU WANT. Usually means, 'Yes I want to.' and if it all goes pear-shaped she can respond with, 'I only agreed to it because YOU wanted to do it!'

CAN DO. ditto.

PASS ME THE PHONE. = 'Don't you dare disturb me for the next 90 minutes!!'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY = 'Bloody hell! You still alive?'

THANKS FOR THE PRESENT = 'Tight get!!'

OF COURSE I STILL LOVE YOU = 'Keep on bringing those wages in you prat!!'

THAT WAS GOOD = 'Thanks for not keeping me awake.'

[Draggletail]

Originally posted by rubydazzler
so Draggle, hon ... if you KNOW what it means, why not just do it without it having to be pointed out a million times ... and then in the end forcing us to say "for god's sake empty the damn bin will you !"... in an engraged and maniacal voice

or is that just me???

(wanders off to look up histrionic personality disorder again)

Nah, I just want her to say 'Will you empty the kitchen bin please, Draggle-poos'
Actually, these days she's just started leaving the bin lid open with the knotted bag neck visible.
You can't argue with that
Unless I said ' Why, Mrs Draggle - the kitchen bin lid is open and the waste bag is tied at the neck..why should that be?

[Strix]

Originally posted by Draggletail
Nah, I just want her to say 'Will you empty the kitchen bin please, Draggle-poos'......

I can just see Mrs D playing the helpless female (not!)

[GothicCharm]

we speak in that language because most men like to think everything is their idea - great idea huh?

[LordChaverly]

'Whadever....'

said by American women when they are too exasperated with you to argue

[GothicCharm]

plus if they think its their idea they do it!

[Cake]

That's sooooooooooooooooo me!!

[DaBouncer]

Does NO still actually mean YES

[sparklesista]

Originally posted by DaBouncer
Does NO still actually mean YES

Nooooooooooooooooo, depending if you're cute or not

[Grissom]

Originally posted by DaBouncer
Does NO still actually mean YES

Not in the court if you're up 4 rape I'm afraid

[GothicCharm]

my nos have various meanings depends on the question like;
"do u want a valentines present?"
"no"

Translation
"do you want a valentines present?"
"You better buy me something expensive or ill castrate you!!!"

lol

[DaBouncer]

Originally posted by rtapper
Not in the court if you're up 4 rape I'm afraid

There's always one

[DaBouncer]

Originally posted by FilthFan
my nos have various meanings depends on the question like;
"do u want a valentines present?"
"no"

Translation
"do you want a valentines present?"
"You better buy me something expensive or ill castrate you!!!"

lol

Talk about high maintenance.

[Grissom]

Life would be sooooooo much easier if women were manufactured by Ronseal