I smoke.
Yes, yes I KNOW its bad for me, I know it poisons small kittens and causes global warming and started world wars one, two and will start world war three, I KNOW all the gubbins about what a nasty monstrous animal I am for DARING to pollute your planet with my ten cigs each day so if ya wanna nag, then prepare to have your eye socket used as an ashtray because frankly, I like smoking and dont give a damn how monstrous it makes me appear to be, and if you dont like it, then...
Tough
Anyway, Im off to see the doc later, (and No, its NOTHING to do with smoking! its an adult acne thing Im curious about) and I just know that shes gonna start nagging me about my filthy smoking habit-- you go to the docs for anything these days and they blame it on cigs!
You broke a toe, its because you smoke, you have a headache, its because you smoke, you`re a mass murdering psychopath who likes to eat peoples kidneys, its because you smoke.
So I just know that when I walk in there this afternoon, shes going to inhale deeply at my manly taint, wait until I finished my moan and say `You smoke, its to be expected, your zits are down to smoking, its because your hide doesnt get enough oxygen, the spots are gods way of telling you that youre a filthy, world destroying pig of a man who should be gassed!`
So, poppets, would sucking a mint put her off my scent? Would covering my scaly carcasse in aftershave mask the stench of my corruption?
OH FOR GODS SAKE, HELP ME! I CANT TAKE ANOTHER NAGGING FROM YET ANOTHER HEALTH FREAK!!!!
