A Nose Full Of Peanut.

Jabberwocky · 26-04-2008, 11:50

Im sitting here, stealing my Other halfs dry roasted peanuts.

Correction: I WAS sitting here stealing my other halfs dry roasted peanuts until she caught me and offered to ram them up my nose and asked me how Id like it if she stole the salted peanuts I have.. and thought were safely hidden in a cupboard in the kitchen.

Anyway, I said that if she were to ram the peanuts up my snotter, Id exhale violently through my nostrils and make sure I was aiming the snot-caked peanuts in her direction and she said that if a peanut was to be inserted up a nostril then exhaling alone wouldnt remove it, no matter how well lubricated with snot it was.

She then- and god knows why, decided to tell me of the many visits she had to the Leicester royal infirmary as a child to have various items removed from her ear holes.

A peanut.
A crayon.
A small plastic soldier.
A felt tip nib cover.

There were a few other things but Ive forgotten them and I dont want to ask her again because she`ll spend the next hour repeating her story to me.

Aparrantly she was on first name terms with the doctors at the hospital and they knew that as soon as her name appeared on the blackboard that an extraction job was required.

Tell me, poppets, have YOU ever had anything removed from your carcasse by medical staff?

Me?
Nope. Nothing from me, but to HELL with me, I wanna know about YOU!

mojo1 · 26-04-2008, 11:57

My cousin had a peanut removed from his nose when he was a kid, and my brother in laws staffy had to have a micro machine removed from his ear (to this day nobody is entirely sure who put it there).
My ex had to have one of my fingernails removed from his back but thats not a tale for this forum

schizodoor · 26-04-2008, 12:00

A friend of my fathers had swallowed a pin when he was a young boy. Around age 30 he noticed sharp protuberance from his stomach. After a visit to hospital it was discovered to be the pin! They didn't remove it as it seemed to be working its way out nicely and had become somewhat blunted. Within the year the pin was far enough out for them to give it a little pull and hey presto, a family heirloom!

medusa · 26-04-2008, 12:03

My dad got a pen top stuck down his ear and was sent to the local children's hospital to have it removed. This wouldn't have been so funny if he hadn't been 55 at the time.

Jabberwocky · 26-04-2008, 12:08

I remember sticking a kid with a pin when I was 7 at Southey school.

The teacher, after battering me into something that resembled clotted cream, then told me that he knew a kid who had been stuck with a pin and the pin went missing.

Years later, when he was about 30, he died and the post mortem found the needle in his BRAIN!!!

IN HIS BRAIN!!!!! It had slowly moved around his body over the years until it reached HIS BRAIN!!!!

Ok, at the tender age of seven I didnt know what a post mortem was and I was half unconcious from the pummelling but I remembered to stick a pin into my foot and so far... nothing... Im still alive!

And you all call me brainless! I bet you wish you were all brainless now dont ya???

DONT YA!!!!!

mojo1 · 26-04-2008, 12:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jabberwocky

I remember sticking a kid with a pin when I was 7 at Southey school.

The teacher, after battering me into something that resembled clotted cream, then told me that he knew a kid who had been stuck with a pin and the pin went missing.

Years later, when he was about 30, he died and the post mortem found the needle in his BRAIN!!!

IN HIS BRAIN!!!!! It had slowly moved around his body over the years until it reached HIS BRAIN!!!!

Ok, at the tender age of seven I didnt know what a post mortem was and I was half unconcious from the pummelling but I remembered to stick a pin into my foot and so far... nothing... Im still alive!

And you all call me brainless! I bet you wish you were all brainless now dont ya???

DONT YA!!!!!

So did you in fact........errr.......murder him?

*gulps and backs away slowly*

Jabberwocky · 26-04-2008, 12:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojo1

So did you in fact........errr.......murder him?

*gulps and backs away slowly*

I dont see it as murder.
It was more of a...

release...?

SugarPuff · 26-04-2008, 12:15

A few years ago my daughter told my son to snort a peach flavour Smint, which of course he did... (

) When they came and told me that it was lodged up his nostril I took him next door to the doctor's surgery on the offchance that someone might be free to have a fish around. They looked but couldn't see it, but by then he was starting to get peachy snot running down his nose, which he thought was marvellous! In the end it just dissolved away