Did you have a good relationship with your parents?

relost · 08-03-2008, 21:42

Following on from tha bad parents thread- I was just wondering what sort of relationship you had with your parents growing up? Did you love and respect them and feel they were there when you needed them? Or were you not so close to them, or maybe suffered?
I didn't get on well with my mum at all- lots of things happened, although she wasn't abusive as such. Now we get on better

holidayhutch · 09-03-2008, 01:50

Nope never got on with mine, cut all ties with them 11 years ago and had them arrested last year

kckc · 09-03-2008, 01:59

Feel really blessed with the relationship I have with mine. Couldn't wish for anything more. Think they did a grand job - plenty of love, humour and wisdom passed on, but wasn't spoilt. Having such a good relationship can also be a burden though, cos I'll go to pieces when they're not there anymore.

The Rat · 09-03-2008, 02:09

I had a brilliant childhood and I was loved to bits.... I think I am returning the love and care now.

sufc_tom · 09-03-2008, 02:16

I envy anyone who has an open, honest and caring relationship with their parents. My relationship with my parents is a shell of all the good attributes that are supposed to make up a parental bond. Suffice to say, any children of mine will get all the love, confidence, humour and attention I never got.

kckc · 09-03-2008, 02:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by sufc_tom

I envy anyone who has an open, honest and caring relationship with their parents. My relationship with my parents is a shell of all the good attributes that are supposed to make up a parental bond. Suffice to say, any children of mine will get all the love, confidence, humour and attention I never got.

Sad to hear that

No idea about your circumstances, but is there any hope in leaving the past behind and trying to turn things around with your folks?

lowby · 09-03-2008, 04:52

If you could blank out in your mind, a phase in time my childhood would be it.
I thankfully left home at 15 and never ever looked back.
My own kids have everything i can physically offer them that i never got.
There are times i wish i had a set of parent to call mine, just not the ones who dragged me up.

CottonTop · 09-03-2008, 05:46

My dad died when I was quite young so I never really got to know him but my mom and I were very close. We shared all sorts of secrets and could talk about almost anything. I really enjoyed spending time with her. She's been gone now for almost 4 years and I still miss her everyday. I hope my girls will feel the same about me when they grow up.

Beakerzoid · 09-03-2008, 06:49

My Mum has been my best friend throughout my life. She has always been there for me, and when I was young she raised me with very good moral values which I will, in turn, pass to my kids. She always wanted the best for me, and has always accepted my life decisions, even if she didn't agree with them (she never wanted me to move away from home, but knowing that it meant a lot to me she let me go, for example). I inherited a lot of my personality and hobbies from my Mum, and love her to bits.

My only regret about my parents is that due to my Dad working on the rigs when I was young, he would only see me for a few days each month, and was generally knackered so couldn;t do much. Thus I don't really know my Dad, even though we are a close family. I know he regrets working away for the money when we were growing up, and with my younger sister (10 years younger than me) he chose to take the pay-cut and work close to home, so he didn't miss out again.

jfish1936 · 09-03-2008, 08:15

Really good! We were stranded in a 3rd world country during WW II, my mother educated me. My father set me a good example, and always made time to answer my questions.
Later, my father came to live in our home; our children remeber him as a wise, patient, helpful grandfather.

discodown · 09-03-2008, 08:23

I had a good childhood and my parents weren't bad parents, they didn't hit us or anything and we were treated well but we weren't close at all. It was only after i moved out that I had any sort of relationship with them.

Now my dads gone my mum has found a new partner and is happy and we all get along just fine

lyndix · 09-03-2008, 09:30

I have an excellent relationship with my parents.
I can talk to them about anything and if they can help me in any way at all they will, even if it means putting themselves out. Then again they are like that with everybody, they are both just lovely people.

I`ve always got on with my parents, went through a bit of a phase with my dad, when him and mum split up. But now they are remarried and very happy!

JenC · 09-03-2008, 09:51

I get along with them, but I wouldn't say we're particularly close. I love them to bits, don't get me wrong, but I don't go to them if I have any problems and I just wouldn't feel comfortable talking to them about things. I think they probably see me as a bit of a closed book (then again, I find it hard to open up to most people, so it's nothing against just them particularly).

That said, they're still loving, caring people and I'd be lost without them.

dramadiva · 09-03-2008, 11:17

I now have brilliant relationship with my parents, i never realy understood my dad when i was younger, but i think that that has come with age and a little more experience. As for my mum, i daren't imagine life without her she has always been there for me, let me make my own mistakes, never judged and has would always drop everything for me (and my brother and sister). My parents always put us kids first, and even though at the time i may not have always been grateful, as a parent now i can see exactly what they gave up for us kids.

I love my parents more than anything, and i know quite a few people who would kill to have a relationship like ours.

melthebell · 09-03-2008, 11:23

got on perfectly fine with mine

even tho ive had run ins with the law, been involved in the punk, drug, drink, traveller scenes etc
and left home at 18........my choice to, not due to trouble at home.

even when i was sat in town drinking with mates, winos etc my mum, mums friends etc would say hello.

whitehorses · 09-03-2008, 11:33

As a young child I didn't get the love and attention I needed from my parents, nor did my elder sister.This came from Grandparents.As I became a teenager, we became more estranged, as is I suppose, the norm.I loved them without question, but didn't feel it was reciprocated in a way that I could understand.I moved out, and then much later, back again, dossed down anywhere just to not have to be at home.
When I was in my twenties, the relationship got much better and I had developed a close bond with my Dad, everything had just come right and then he died and I felt lost all over again.
As a result I love my son so much , and I know, as old as he is now, if he were asked this question on this thread, he would be able to answer yes, and that he KNOWS he is loved.

Honkytonk · 09-03-2008, 12:42

I have a toxic relationship with my mum. It has caused me pain all my life, and still does. When I was child she used to scream and yell at me "I wish I was dead", "I am going to disappear", "I want to die", and blamed me for her unhappiness, as well as telling me I was horrible and she didn't like me, but only spoke to me cos I was her daughter, otherwise she wouldn't. I never knew my grandparents on either side, and didn't have another adult around to talk to, someone who could have told her to grow up and leave me alone.

Even now, she expects me to go and visit her and tell her what a wonderful mother she is. A couple of years ago I thought I was going to lose my house cos I wasn't earning as much as I was when I got the mortgage - a truly horrible time. What would a nice mother do? Offer support? Maybe some money if she could? No, a letter through my letter box blaming and accusing me of causing HER distress. Has she ever mentioned it? never. She couldn't communicate with me if her life depended on it. I'm supposed to carry on as if nothing happened. She takes no responsibility for her behaviour, and cannot she the hurt she causes me. She doesn't see me as a person at all, just a possession. Her 'daughter'. someone she can boast to her friends about.

She is Spanish, but me and my brother never got to know our Spanish relatives. My mum and dad go to visit them, but they are strangers to us. And yet, she wants to know who my friends are, and expects to get invited to birthday celebrations etc etc.

She is a very self-absorbed and thoughtless mother to me, and sometimes I regret moving back to Sheffield because I'm expected to see them once a week.

Another thing she likes to do is return gifts I have given her! I sent her some flowers for Valentines' Day from my dad, and all she could do was complain that the water had fallen on the kitchen floor when she opened them, and she didn't like the smell of the lilies. when I said I'd take some back to my house, she said 'take them all'. suffice to say, she did not get anything on mother's day, not even a call. When I don't see her, I'm happy, when I see her it sets me back for a few days.

Any conversation with her is small talk, and whenever I have tried to talk to her about anything in my life which is upsetting me, I get nothing back. I would be better off talking to the cat. When she finally dies, I'm not even sure I'll go to the funeral.

I do have a nice counsellor, who I see occasionally - she feels like the mother I should have had.

Those of you with nice mothers are very lucky. i get on well with my dad, and I think my mum is jealous of our relationship, and resents my freedom. A few months ago, she was going on about how she took me to school!! Like she'd been doing me a favour. Only someone who should never have had kids would resent taking their child to school.

Stupid woman.

relost · 09-03-2008, 13:52

Message deleted by OP

*Peaches* · 09-03-2008, 13:55

I hated my mum and my step dad growing up. Once I moved out the relationship with my mum improved, but it'll never be the one I wanted it to be.

My dad wouldn't pee on me if I was on fire, and to be honest the feeling is mutual

hennypenny · 09-03-2008, 14:15

I am so aware that I was truly blessed with my parents. They were loving and kind and brought me up with strong moral values, without being harsh in any way.

Whenever I have needed help they have been there for me without question. We have lived next door to them for the last 20 years, we have gone on holidays together and spent our leisure time together too. They have helped raise and educate our children who are also very close to them.

We lost my mum 3 years ago and I was privileged to be able to repay some small part of what I owe to them by caring for her for the year before she died, and I still spend a lot of time with my dad. My son still goes away with his grandad regularly for weekends camping, not because he feels obliged, but because they are best friends.

When I read the stories of some of the people on here, it makes me so sad, and so very grateful to my mum and dad for being the best there is.