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I don't know if this is true, but it sure is funny!
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this
you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you
realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global
Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs
on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then
sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft.
Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling
brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know
> you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought
I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first
must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we
do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it
to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this
sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back
of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden,
my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched
it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds
my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
my back, but the damage was done. In agony I
realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish
and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have
any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to
it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was
actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my
butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to
the fact that he, along with five other divers, were
all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was
instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber
dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
tears of laughter running down his face,
handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on
my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop
for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work,
think about how much worse it would be if you had a
jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my
job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is
this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day
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