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04-01-2005, 20:53
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2004
Total Posts: 77
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i just been reading on the net that all most 99.9% of people regret hurting or never saying sorry to people they've hurt i thought it would have been like 100 percent really but whatever and it started me thinking how many of us regret things we've done things we've said and done to people who mean alot to us and how many of us never say sorry and let arguments go on and on and i was thinking how many people out there are feeling that right now alot i can tell u that including me i have hurt people and have done and said things i know i shouldnt have things im certainly not proud of things i know i can never ever put right or truly be forgiven for things i would go back in time and change if i could but i suppose payback comes to everyone as im getting mine now i just think its sad that so many people go through life wishing they had said sorry to someone or had made amends for there actions just thought it was sommat to think about cos i know it got me thinking any 1 out there going through or gone through the same?
Last edited by pickety-witch; 04-01-2005 at 20:59.
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04-01-2005, 21:02
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#2
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ASBO kid
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Nirvana
Total Posts: 3,325
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I regret you never learning to use full stops and paragraphs. I fell asleep half way through that.
Break it up!!
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04-01-2005, 21:03
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#3
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Spooktacula
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: sheffield
Total Posts: 3,828
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I think most people through life go through that Kirsty at one time or another, mine would have been 3 years ago but you can't turn back time. You just have to try and learn by your mistakes. 
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04-01-2005, 21:07
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#4
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Individual
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Rotherham
Total Posts: 3,171
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Its easy to say sorry but somethings are best left alone and forgotten about.
Last edited by Jon; 04-01-2005 at 21:14.
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04-01-2005, 21:19
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#5
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2004
Total Posts: 77
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but saying sorry as to be the best way because people cant go thrugh life forver never ever saying sorry
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04-01-2005, 21:21
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#6
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Mr Binty
Join Date: Jan 2004
Total Posts: 6,424
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Quote:
Originally posted by lemonkirdy
but saying sorry as to be the best way because people cant go thrugh life forver never ever saying sorry
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Wanna Bet 
The only regrets I have is not saying something to people I should have.. Better off the chest eh 
__________________
Did he call me Len again? You address me by my proper title... you little.......!
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04-01-2005, 21:24
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#7
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Zeppelin Rule!
Forum Helper
Join Date: May 2004
Location: S6
Total Posts: 4,053
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Everyone makes mistakes that they wish they hadn't
Human nature, but what's also human nature is a surprisingly short memory about these things.
__________________
When the music's over......turn out the lights
You wouldn't recognize a good day if you never had a bad day. Up The Owls
My last fm
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04-01-2005, 21:26
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#8
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Individual
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Rotherham
Total Posts: 3,171
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Someone can hurt someone so bad that saying sorry means nothing anymore to them. I regret not punching someone once..so wished i had...  but glad i didn't in the end this person wasn't worth being locked up for.
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04-01-2005, 22:45
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#9
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Misanthrope
Join Date: Jun 2004
Total Posts: 6,153
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Never regret anything. Come on, people really do deserve what they get. If you are stupid enough to fall for someone's act, then don't act like a victim when it goes wrong, because they will just be laughing.
You only have one life, make it what you want, don't be a victim. It's all just a game, learn the rules.
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04-01-2005, 23:00
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Frecheville
Total Posts: 1,702
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Quote:
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Someone can hurt someone so bad that saying sorry means nothing anymore to them. I regret not punching someone once..
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Maybe the problem was that you didn't feel that the person who hurt you really appreciated how you felt about it ?
It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.
Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them.
Quote:
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i just think its sad that so many people go through life wishing they had said sorry to someone or had made amends for there actions
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I suppose it depends on the circumstances as to whether you can really make ammends but if you've not apologised I think it makes it harder for the person you've hurt to deal with their own feelings.
If you have apologised (& meant it) & they still hold onto their anger then there's nothing you can do to.
Ultimately though, I think, to hold onto feelings of anger & resentment only does you harm. That doesn't mean to say you have to keep going back for more mind 
__________________
And all your future lies beneath your hat - John Oldham
Cock your hat - angles are attitudes - Frank Sinatra
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04-01-2005, 23:17
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#11
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Individual
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Rotherham
Total Posts: 3,171
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Quote:
Originally posted by Siān
Maybe the problem was that you didn't feel that the person who hurt you really appreciated how you felt about it ?
It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.
Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them.
I suppose it depends on the circumstances as to whether you can really make ammends but if you've not apologised I think it makes it harder for the person you've hurt to deal with their own feelings.
If you have apologised (& meant it) & they still hold onto their anger then there's nothing you can do to.
Ultimately though, I think, to hold onto feelings of anger & resentment only does you harm. That doesn't mean to say you have to keep going back for more mind
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It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.
Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them.  wow thats spot on how i feel...i think it would take more then sorry thou for me to forgive this person
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04-01-2005, 23:21
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#12
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Misanthrope
Join Date: Jun 2004
Total Posts: 6,153
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jon
It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.
Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them. wow thats spot on how i feel...i think it would take more then sorry thou for me to forgive this person
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nah, forgiving is dead easy, I doubt there are many situations we cannot forgive... it's the forgetting that always gets in the way.
Just let it go, life if too short. Stop worrying and believe that everything happens for a reason if it helps you get through things. If you don't know what to do, do nothing, and more answers will be revealed.
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05-01-2005, 08:22
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#13
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No. 1 Angel
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Heaven is a place on earth!
Total Posts: 2,168
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deejay
Wanna Bet
The only regrets I have is not saying something to people I should have.. Better off the chest eh
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Thats so true... I was once told... Never regret the things you have done... only regret the things you havent...
I am finding this so true... life is to short for regret...
Always say & do what you feel is right... before its too late...
That would be my advice to all...
__________________
Each friend represents a world in us... a world possibly not born until they arrive... and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born!
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05-01-2005, 08:26
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#14
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Mr Binty
Join Date: Jan 2004
Total Posts: 6,424
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angel05
Thats so true... I was once told... Never regret the things you have done... only regret the things you havent...
I am finding this so true... life is to short for regret...
Always say & do what you feel is right... before its too late...
That would be my advice to all...
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But there are some things that are best not to be said at all, the ones where you know it will only cause more misery (or is that just me ?)
__________________
Did he call me Len again? You address me by my proper title... you little.......!
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05-01-2005, 08:27
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#15
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Heeley
Total Posts: 17,217
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Ther realy is no point in dwelling on past mistakes, you can't go back and change them, it's best to just learn what you can and move on, otherwise the past can bugger-up your future.
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05-01-2005, 08:42
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#16
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No. 1 Angel
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Heaven is a place on earth!
Total Posts: 2,168
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jon
It's hard enough when someone does something to hurt you & then regrets it but it's much harder to get your head around if they refuse to accept how much they've hurt you.
Harder still is when they deny it ever happened. It's amazing how much it can mean to someone just to acknowledge that you hurt them. wow thats spot on how i feel...i think it would take more then sorry thou for me to forgive this person
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I got very hurt an let down once... all i wanted from that person was an apology... nothing more mattered to me... i didnt want explainations as to why when or how etc... just hearing that word 'Sorry' it ment so much... I really saw the hurt in that person's eye's... I knew their apology was sincerely ment...
Thats when an apology really counts... when you can actually see it's truly ment... thats when you know its come from deep wtihin a person...
__________________
Each friend represents a world in us... a world possibly not born until they arrive... and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born!
Last edited by Angel05; 05-01-2005 at 08:47.
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05-01-2005, 08:52
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#17
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No. 1 Angel
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Heaven is a place on earth!
Total Posts: 2,168
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Quote:
Originally posted by nick2
Ther realy is no point in dwelling on past mistakes, you can't go back and change them, it's best to just learn what you can and move on, otherwise the past can bugger-up your future.
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This is how we learn right from wrong... Mistakes are there to be made... we wouldnt learn otherwise...
You think of people that have told us of their past experiences (friends family ex's etc...) we all learn from one another's mistakes as life moves on...
Feeling in deep mode today
__________________
Each friend represents a world in us... a world possibly not born until they arrive... and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born!
Last edited by Angel05; 05-01-2005 at 08:59.
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05-01-2005, 09:44
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#18
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Frecheville
Total Posts: 1,702
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Quote:
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i think it would take more then sorry thou for me to forgive this person
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I think it's a misconception that forgiving someone is something you do for them. It may help them a bit but if they are truly sorry then they have to live with the memory of the hurt they have caused.
When we forgive someone we help ourselves.
I don't know what happened to you or how long ago but I'd guess you wouldn't want this person to have the power of continued influence in your life.
To acknowledge & then let go of the hurt that they caused you in no way trivialises or denies what actually happened to you.
__________________
And all your future lies beneath your hat - John Oldham
Cock your hat - angles are attitudes - Frank Sinatra
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05-01-2005, 16:55
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#19
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A Regular Joe
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Dun Moddin'
Total Posts: 14,721
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To err is to be human, to fogive divine, to really screw up requires a computer...
Seriously, I nowadays try and live by the old saw 'Never let the sun go down on an argument' when dealing with people close to me.
My father died when we were not on good terms; why or what I have no idea, but we just drifted apart and never got back together. I never got the chance to bury the hatchet. It's not worth it.
If you can forgive, then do so. If you can't, then at least see if you can 'agree to disagree'. But whatever, don't keep the whole thing going as a feud. You'll waste your energy - if you want to get your own back then be happy, be wealthy, succeed and let that be your revenge!
By hanging on to an old wound you let an external force control your life. Don't give that control over. Acknowledge that a hurt was done to you and move on. And if you're the one believed to be in the wrong - seriously consider apologising rather than carrying the crap.
Joe
__________________
"I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud." - CG Jung
My homepage : http://www.joepritchard.me.uk
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05-01-2005, 16:58
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#20
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Fat McLovin
Moderator
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Sothall
Total Posts: 13,112
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Quote:
Originally posted by lemonkirdy
but saying sorry as to be the best way because people cant go thrugh life forver never ever saying sorry
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we can try 
__________________
It's just like watching the Blades :)
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