Breastfeeding megathread

Saff · 05-04-2007, 20:38

My baby's 8 months now but still breast feeds a great deal- she totally refuses a bottle and just sort of messes about with a cup. As for solids I manage to get a little into her 3 times a day. I know a lot of the bfeeding is just for comfort/boredom and to send her off. She still wakes in the night so I feed her to send her back to sleep- if I leave her she becomes hysterical and is sometimes sick and wakes my toddler so I'm resigned to that! Anyway, I'm supposed to be going on a hen do in 2 months- it involves 2 nights away. I'm thinking it's probably irresponsible to go on one hand, but on the other hand she should be better at eating solids by then and would eat if really hungry, but I pity the thought of my husband and MIL looking after a screaming baby without me! Any advice would be helpful!

cosywolf · 05-04-2007, 21:30

Welcome, Saff.

Every child is different, and it all depends on how determined you are to keep up with the breastfeeding, but I have a couple of suggestions...if you don't think she actually needs feeding in the night but is just wanting comfort/Mummy (very possible at 8 months) you could try offering her a cup or bottle of water instead...it will result in grumpy crying, but if having sleep will help you be a happier mum and she doesn't actually need food, it may well be worth a few nights of tears.

The bottle thing is harder for me to advise over...I disagree totally with the midwife/hospital advice that you should wait before offering them the bottle...I gave in and gave cosycub formula in hospital to supplement my milk so I could get an hours sleep, and I haven't looked back...he has never turned down either bottle or breast, as he's happy that food comes from both.
Nevertheless, from listening to friends experiences, I would suggest persevering. Perhaps one feed in two or three is bottle or nothing? Of course, that also depends on how happy you are with your child's health and weight. And listening to them cry. I only suggest it because at eight months she will know that if she holds out for the breast she will get it, so why bother with the bottle...if the bottle is all that's on offer, she may change her mind. You can also get teats that are very similar to the nipple, which may help her accept it better.

I don't think it's necessarily irresponsible to have two days to yourself, particularly if it will help make you a happier, more relaxed Mummy. It may also be the impetus she needs to change her habits...and you may find that her demands are different when she is without you - often babies are more demanding for Mummy because they're fairly secure in the knowledge that mummy won't abandon them...they may behave differently for others, even Daddy and MIL.

It might be worth experimenting before the actual hen night - twelve hours away, twenty four, either you or her (could she go to MIL's?), somewhere you can come back to her quickly if absolutely necessary. Plenty of expressed milk, etc...see how it goes.

Good luck!

RozeePozee · 06-04-2007, 20:56

Well done for breast feeding past the 6 month mark. It's a great start to give your little one. I'm curious to hear about you feeling your baby is feeding for comfort etc. Maybe she is genuinely hungry. Babies don't have the intellectual capacity to try to manipulate. If they're crying, it's their only way to communicate their discomfort to you: whether they are trying to let you know they're hungry, tired, windy, bored etc. If she is feeding for comfort, it sounds like breast feeding her is a great way to settle her down.

Although the guidelines say breast feed exclusively for 6 months, breast milk should still be the main source of a baby's nutrition until 12 month (about 80:20 solids to breast milk at this stage). In fact, a baby's digestive system doesn't mature fully until s/he's 2 years old which suggests that breast feeding until 2 is entirely natural. Until the introduction of formula milk, breastfeeding beyond one year was the norm and still is in many non-western countries.

Will she take a bottle? Could you express and freeze your breast milk (it freezes for ages, just check the guidelines online) and your partner feed her this?

chryll · 06-04-2007, 21:33

try an get ur baby on to a bottle now to make it easier so ur not rushing about at last minute then ur husband won't have any problems i know its not easy but keep tryin her give her bits in between meals like fruit an yoghurts that helps to fill them like banana an yoghurts

Saff · 07-04-2007, 09:20

Thanks for your replies! I really want to continue breastfeeding and love the fact that if she's a bit tired or thirsty or something a quick nip (scuse the pun) sorts her out immediately. I'm intending to let her self wean eventually but it's just the going away for more than a few hours when she still won't take a bottle. I normally feed her every time to get her down for a nap but yesterday pushed her in the pram which worked fine and only bfed her once mid morning apart from first thing and last thing. Other than that she gummed bits of toast and had a fair bit of fruit mush etc! She seemed happy. Rozee- now I'm worried that's not enough milk! I think the main issue is getting her to take a bottle- she just hates it! I tried to give her water in the night but she utterly refused. I know I give in so quickly cos bfeeding is so effective but I want to go out sometimes! I've tried all sort of different bottles and teats but none seem to work.

RozeePozee · 07-04-2007, 17:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saff

Thanks for your replies! I really want to continue breastfeeding and love the fact that if she's a bit tired or thirsty or something a quick nip (scuse the pun) sorts her out immediately. I'm intending to let her self wean eventually but it's just the going away for more than a few hours when she still won't take a bottle. I normally feed her every time to get her down for a nap but yesterday pushed her in the pram which worked fine and only bfed her once mid morning apart from first thing and last thing. Other than that she gummed bits of toast and had a fair bit of fruit mush etc! She seemed happy. Rozee- now I'm worried that's not enough milk! I think the main issue is getting her to take a bottle- she just hates it! I tried to give her water in the night but she utterly refused. I know I give in so quickly cos bfeeding is so effective but I want to go out sometimes! I've tried all sort of different bottles and teats but none seem to work.

You might want to try posting your queryt here : http://boards.babycentre.co.uk/n/pfx...cUKExtBreastfd. I'm new to this parenting malarky and find these women super experienced in breast feeding and very helpful HTH!

mrseggy · 09-04-2007, 08:21

Hi Saff,

Personally i wouldnt bother with the bottle now i tryed with both my daughters with no luck what so ever !!

They both went straight onto a cup, but i most admit they only way i managed to do this was by giving them juice (very weak), let face it water is hardly a substitute for the breast!!. However once they had got used to drinking from a cup we then introduced formular with no problems, therefore giving me my much need weekend away.

Good Luck !!

kitty123 · 09-04-2007, 16:18

Hi this may not be the right thing to say, but I wouldnt go sounds like to much stress at this stage

Saff · 09-04-2007, 18:33

Lots of helpful advice, thanks. I think I'll just wait til nearer the time and just keep offering her a cup and see if she gets the hang of it. If not there'll be other weekends in the future I'm sure. To be honest I would like to go away but it's not the end of the world if I don't and I think some of wanting her to take a bottle and eat more solids is from other people's expectations. After looking at that website Rozee recommended I realised my baby's just one of those that really likes milk! I'm happy to follow her lead. Mind I'm going to the wedding is in late June- no kids allowed- and I'm not missing that!

Henrietta · 09-04-2007, 20:58

Don't bother with the bottle, try expressed milk in a sippy cup.

I 'weaned' my son off night feeds at around a year old, and did this by reducing the milk feeds i.e. cutting it to one in the night after I'd gone to bed, and offering him a sippy cup with water when he woke whilst I was still up in case he was thirsty; then laying next to him/cuddling, but no milk and soothing him back to sleep. Then moved onto just the soothing and cuddling, no water. Then onto soothing by stroking hair and whispers but kneeling by bed - then finally to a bit of a tuck in of the covers with a "shh shh!" and a rub of the back... then he started not to bother waking.

.

Bonny · 09-04-2007, 21:40

I had a similar problem with mine, she just wouldn't take the bottle. In the end, mum told me to go out of the house for a few hours and mum managed to get her to feed from the bottle.

The little one will be able to smell you and your milk and you'll find it hard to convince her to take from a bottle whereas someone else may be able to do it - particularly if it's expressed milk.

RozeePozee · 09-05-2007, 19:55

It's next week! I've tried to find out if there are any events in Sheffield to no avail. Does anyone Know of any?

Red Head · 09-05-2007, 20:01

Don't know if your in the area but my BIBS group (Breast is best) is having a pamper morning in Penistone. Its on Monday 14th May at St. Johns Community Centre, Seminar Room, Penistone. 10-2

Come along and meet other breast feeding mums, find out how to train to be a breastfeeding peer supporter (like me!).
Find out about our drop in group (Thursdays 1-3, same venue) and other suport available.

Enjoy refreshments and a FREE pamper session - hand massage, facials, foot massage etc.

Contact me via PM if you need more info or directions.

All the best

RozeePozee · 10-05-2007, 08:34

Thanks and well done, it's good to know there is something going on but I was hoping for a local event. Apparently there's a mass breast feed (I'm sure I've described that wrong!) in Ikea on Monday too

meumeu77 · 10-05-2007, 20:57

I'm surprised not more is being done to raise awareness. As a new mum I have really struggled to get it right and after just 3 months I still feel I have things to learn!

jen13kd · 10-05-2007, 20:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Head

Don't know if your in the area but my BIBS group (Breast is best) is having a pamper morning in Penistone. Its on Monday 14th May at St. Johns Community Centre, Seminar Room, Penistone. 10-2

Come along and meet other breast feeding mums, find out how to train to be a breastfeeding peer supporter (like me!).
Find out about our drop in group (Thursdays 1-3, same venue) and other suport available.

Enjoy refreshments and a FREE pamper session - hand massage, facials, foot massage etc.

Contact me via PM if you need more info or directions.

All the best

would it be useful to come along if my baby' still a bump???? He's due in 7 weeks

Henrietta · 11-05-2007, 10:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by jen13kd

would it be useful to come along if my baby' still a bump

That's a great idea jen, you can learn a lot by chatting with other BF'ing mums!

.

RozeePozee · 13-05-2007, 12:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by meumeu77

I'm surprised not more is being done to raise awareness. As a new mum I have really struggled to get it right and after just 3 months I still feel I have things to learn!

I entirely agree with how not enough is done to support breastfeeding in Sheffield. It's really sad. I know there are a few 'drop-in' type groups but I imagine most brand new mums who are struggling find it quite hard to get to these groups and there was really minimal support in hospital after my birth. I overheard the staff telling new mums who asked for help to watch the bf video as the staff were just too busy to offer hands on support. I've written to the Green Party to see if there was anything on offer next week and although I got a response, it seemed they were unaware of anything - and were not organizing anything themselves. It's a very sad state of affairs.

meumeu77 · 13-05-2007, 13:10

true. If it hadn't been for my Mom's support and one of my friends who struggled herself, I couldn't have gone through it all on my own. I felt low at times. Although I'm much better now

Still I don't think it's something we should feel ashamed of doing. And I am proud to do it but still daren't do it in public while shopping for instance. I guess I need to have more confidence about it.

Red Head · 13-05-2007, 17:22

Just to say that you don't have to already be breastfeeding to come along. If you are pregnant, or even just thinking about having a little one then do come along. Its just an informal thing to generate some links between mums and prospective mums and to answer any questions. Oh and bring partners too if they have questions - you do need your other half support in this....
Hope to see you there ....
I will be the tall Scottish redhead with the 9 month old girl.