Are you a dad? If so, what sort of dad are you? If not, what sort might you be?

Draggletail · 01-06-2007, 00:40

Talking to a couple of mates tonight and the conversation turned to being dads.

One said that his kids were a 'pain' (nappies and all that stuff) until they got to ten/elevenish, but now he can relate to them on a more adut level it's good.....

The other said that his father was a distant sort of man who handed over all parenting to the mother, then decided to 'get involved' with his son at the age of about eleven and suddenly start to teach him 'the ways of the world, how to be a man, fishing etc' and that if he became a parent he would do it the same way.......

So..... I'm not like this at all.... I've looked after our 21 month old two days a week for the last ten months, and am usually involved other days in between jobs (I'm self employed) and at evenings and weekends of course...

Me and my little lad have loads of fun, games, laughs, outings, hide and seek in the house, lots of hugs and discovery - it's hard work but brilliant seeing him develop and change.

julado · 01-06-2007, 00:47

So you have a 21 month old....

I am not a Dad so cant really answer your questions BUT I can tell you this....
I am a Mum, it seems like my son was born yesterday. I remember it all like it was yesterday. And in 5 weeks time my son will be 28. What I think I am trying to say here is cherish every moment, be the best Dad you can be because in the blink of any eye your child will be all grown up and you will be sitting at your computer at nearly 2am thinking "where the bloody hell did all that time go".

Have fun with your child. x

happyhippy · 01-06-2007, 00:56

I'm a Dad of three wonderful girls. I was studying while my eldest was very young, missed a lot of my middle one when she was young, and am a full time Dad with my youngest.

All I'll say is that my parents died when I was young, and I savour every laugh, smile, cry and whimper. Every time they call me Dad; every hug, every squeeze.

Every plaster, every punctured tyre, every ball in the road, every dog they stroked.

Every teenage sneer, every proud word they wrote which was illegible, every tantrum, every time I had to apologise for snapping.

Every picture, every song, every poem, every goodnight kiss.

Were it not for my wonderful girls, I'd be dead.

So what sort of Dad am I? An 'orrible get, who loves his three girls more than anything on the planet.

happyhippy · 01-06-2007, 00:58

The early years are just so incredible. The little ball of blood which becomes a person is just incredible to see.

redrobbo · 01-06-2007, 01:26

Post removed.

Server won't allow me to post less than characters - even though my post is already in excess of that number! Grrr!

Edit: problem solved. See following post!

redrobbo · 01-06-2007, 01:30

I'm a Dad!

See this thread about my daughter Jenny....

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/show...light=hartpury

And see Post No.26 on this thread regarding my son SupraSteve....

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/show...ghlight=Wirral[/QUOTE]

Red

julado · 01-06-2007, 01:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyhippy

I'm a Dad of three wonderful girls. I was studying while my eldest was very young, missed a lot of my middle one when she was young, and am a full time Dad with my youngest.

All I'll say is that my parents died when I was young, and I savour every laugh, smile, cry and whimper. Every time they call me Dad; every hug, every squeeze.

Every plaster, every punctured tyre, every ball in the road, every dog they stroked.

Every teenage sneer, every proud word they wrote which was illegible, every tantrum, every time I had to apologise for snapping.

Every picture, every song, every poem, every goodnight kiss.

Were it not for my wonderful girls, I'd be dead.

So what sort of Dad am I? An 'orrible get, who loves his three girls more than anything on the planet.

What a beautiful post....that has made me cry that has.

No, really it has, am trying to type this through the tears. Just how soft am I?

julado · 01-06-2007, 01:58

Have just read RedRobbos posting....the link to daughter's riding reminds me of my Chris, he too is disabled and at 27 he has just found some voluntary work with horses, he grooms and cares for an old horse called oscar, he cuts up his food and makes sure oscar is warm and happy. Chris does this every friday. Children with disabilities often relate so well to animals and they are kind in return.

Moderator, can we have a box of tissues for this thread please??????

julado · 01-06-2007, 02:04

And I've just read the link to Steve's story......pass me those tissues again. And apologies to OP as I seem to have dominated (for the moment in the wee small hours) your thread.

All in all, aren't our children wonderful, isn't what they say and do wonderful too, (and quite modestly) aren't we, as parents, wonderful to have had them....

carcrash · 01-06-2007, 03:25

I am not going to be a Dad but introducing my nephew to fire when he was 5 and seeing the glint in his eye was special.

Camrat78 · 01-06-2007, 06:50

I'm due to be one in the next two weeks, and I can honestly say I'm scared to death. Its the most wonderful thing in the world, but knowing I'm going to be responsible for how he turns out is a sobering thought. I just pray to God that I'm going to be a good dad.

billyhill · 01-06-2007, 06:59

When I split up with my first wife my two lads were 7 and 11. Me and my ex were determined that the kids should not be hurt. It was tough at times as money issues, housing concerns etc caused the odd row.
However, the lads came through and I am so proud of them that it hurts. The eldest at 26 (gosh thats scary !) has a great job as a Quantity Surveyor, the youngest at 22 is a chef in a good restaurant.
Well adjusted, loads of mates, mickey takers and who talk to me all the time about anything and everything.
So as a dad I don,t think I am too bad but could only have maintained this relationship thanks to my ex wife and my wife of today. Both of whom get on great and have given so much to the two lads.

Fareast · 01-06-2007, 07:29

I'm not really sure if I'm a Dad ; things were a bit confusing in the 1960's. At any rate I never wanted to be a Dad. I would deny it now if anyone said I was their Dad [unless they'd won the lottery]. I'm sure I'd make an awful Dad-------staying out much later than the kids, borrowing money from them for beer, trying to nick their girl-friends and.........oh yeah.......smoking their fags. [1 out of 10 Must try harder].

lubylou · 01-06-2007, 07:53

I wish my ex husband could read all this, it might knock some sense into him on how his kids feel about him not been a proper dad to them like he should be.

willman · 01-06-2007, 08:01

i am. and i would like to think i'm a proper dad in every way.
i have done everything and sacrificed everything to be a dad as i thought i should be.

and that includes whacking her backside,cancelling her 16th birthday party 'cos she was developing a "dark" side i didn't like, sacrificing my career,spoiling her rotten and submitting my wife to 15years of horse ownership hell just to make her happy.

Agent Orange · 01-06-2007, 08:05

I'm not a dad, but if that time ever comes then I'd like to see myself as an involved dad. I'd want to get involved with looking after, teaching and social activities. Love kids and I recjon I will be very doting.

I think, as I grew up, my dad was very busy with work so I never really got that close connection with him and was very close to my mum and grandparents as they were the people who I spent the most time with. I don't want my children having the same opinion of me.

mifsit · 01-06-2007, 08:11

I love being a Dad. My son is 10 months old. I don't mind changing nappies (even the really smelly ones) bathing and dressing him. I love it when he wakes up in the morning and gives me a big smile and a giggle when I get him out of his cot. He follows me (and his mum) around in his walker. Sometimes I wish I had the energy for a bit more playtime but after a hard day gym and then work I have just about enough energy to watch the tv while he has his last bottle and drops off to sleep.

koenigsinger · 01-06-2007, 08:25

When she was tiny, she would fall asleep with her head on my chest, and I'd sit there for hours just watching her sleep.
As she got older we'd go to Graves Park and look at the animals, or to Endcliffe Park, where she'd play on the slide and get me pushing her on the swings.
Then she went to school, and began to grow into her personality, constantly asking questions, wanting to know everything, because she thought I had all the answers

Now She's 12, I dont see her every day, but when she stays with me, I cherish every moment, and I still see that tiny bundle who would need an hour's drive to go to sleep of an evening, in the face of the amazing young woman that she is becoming.
She'll always be my little girl, and I'll always just be the same thing..... DAD.

Halibut · 01-06-2007, 08:27

I wasn't too hot with the first - he's now sixteen. Don't get me wrong, I loved him, fed him, played with him and took him everywhere with me, but at that age I was too interested in meeting my own needs to focus entirely on anyone else's. Despite that, and that fact that his Mum and I separated several years back ( he rarely sees her now, despite the fact that she lives ten minutes away) he's grown into a really fine young man that I'm hugely proud of. My daughter cane along later, she's ten soon - I think I've been much more closely involved from the word go and have a wonderfully strong relationship. She's a beautiful, clever, funny, darling little girl who I adore. I tell her I love her very often and treasure the little drawings and cards she makes for me.
Now, approaching forty, knowing myself better, feeling I understand myself better I'm hoping that my girlfriend and I will be blessed by a new baby. I'd like to think that all I've learned so far about love, and life and what really matters in this world will help me make the very best father I can be.

evildrneil · 01-06-2007, 08:41

I have been told that I must never ever have children (or pets!) 'cos they will turn out to be little round spoiled things! However if I ever do get the chance and turn out to be half as good a dad as my own I'll be happy

At least at the moment I get to be an uncle to a fab little niece so maybe I'll get all my doting and spoiling impulses out on her - OK maybe not!!!