The Bear Elements

SleepyHead · 11-05-2007, 08:00

So me & my partner were trying to think of 'elements' the other night (y'know - like the periodic table and all that), and after glancing round the room I decided (I'd had a 'few' beers at the time) that iron, silicon, carbon and carpet, curtains and wood are all elements.

Anyway one thing led to another and we ended up talking about 'Bear elements' and we thought we'd create a list. So far we've got:

Tedon (consists of 3 pieces of plush fur held together by the 'strong stitching' force, with paws orbiting the central nucleus)

Tedite (used for blowing things up - we're not sure what, and Ted won't tell us)

Teddyinium
Tedrogen
Tedrine

Anyone else got any suggestions?

The_DADDY · 11-05-2007, 08:25

Tedious

SleepyHead · 11-05-2007, 08:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_DADDY

Tedious

Ted says he's very upset with you. Well alright, what he actually said was 'Grrrrrrr', but I know Ted and he ain't pleased.

If I were you I'd watch out for Tedite under the bed!

JoeP · 11-05-2007, 08:58

Tedium?

Can only be handled in small amounts. Allowing too much in one place cause a violent reaction which splits the Tedium atoms in to Boron and Sleepium, emitting Tedons, with split other Tedium atoms giving a chain-stich reaction.

A top secret US Military called the '100 Acre Wood Project' has been attempting to create a Tedium Bomb in recent years.

SleepyHead · 11-05-2007, 09:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeP

Tedium?

Can only be handled in small amounts. Allowing too much in one place cause a violent reaction which splits the Tedium atoms in to Boron and Sleepium, emitting Tedons, with split other Tedium atoms giving a chain-stich reaction.

A top secret US Military called the '100 Acre Wood Project' has been attempting to create a Tedium Bomb in recent years.

I wonder if that's related to research into the Rare Care Bear metals and their constituents?

It would appear that bear elements actually consist of more fundamental bearicles that group together in clumps to form elements like Teddyinium and Tedium. They've got weird names like "Bedtime", "Birthday", "Cheer" and "Grumpy", and after that it all gets a bit too mathematical for my understanding but I'm told it relates to Hug'em Mechanics and the search for a Unified Toy Theory.

The_DADDY · 11-05-2007, 09:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeP

Tedium?

Can only be handled in small amounts. Allowing too much in one place cause a violent reaction which splits the Tedium atoms in to Boron and Sleepium, emitting Tedons, with split other Tedium atoms giving a chain-stich reaction.

A top secret US Military called the '100 Acre Wood Project' has been attempting to create a Tedium Bomb in recent years.

Id like to say i knoew all that and thats why i make the tedium reference.
Unfortunatly id be lieing my ass off.

JoeP · 11-05-2007, 10:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleepyHead

.....that it all gets a bit too mathematical for my understanding but I'm told it relates to Hug'em Mechanics and the search for a Unified Toy Theory.

And you shouldn't forget Steif's General and Special Theories of Huggability.

BrainThrust · 11-05-2007, 10:22

Hugs = length of arms x furryness squared?

JoeP · 11-05-2007, 10:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrainThrust

Hugs = length of arms x furryness squared?

Indeed!

There's also Pooh's Law that explains the relationship between furryness and the ability of the fur to resist food spills, particularly honey.

BrainThrust · 11-05-2007, 10:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeP

Indeed!

There's also Pooh's Law that explains the relationship between furryness and the ability of the fur to resist food spills, particularly honey.

inversely proportional right?

Wilf

JoeP · 11-05-2007, 10:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrainThrust

inversely proportional right?

Wilf

Absolutely - and also has a non-linear aspect to the value of the bear!

BrainThrust · 11-05-2007, 10:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeP

Absolutely - and also has a non-linear aspect to the value of the bear!

Lets not get onto Hug'em bearcanics again though, I don't think i can stand a discussion on warping the fabric of nap-time with a infintely soft pillow.

Wilf

Dozy · 11-05-2007, 10:45

Don't forget Dean's dilemma which states that the length of time taken to choose a bear is huggablility + cuteness divided by the amount of money in your purse.

Or the Merrythought mystery, which is the phenomenon of bears managing to increase in quantity without purchases being made.

Dozy

BrainThrust · 11-05-2007, 10:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dozy

Don't forget Dean's dilemma which states that the length of time taken to choose a bear is huggablility + cuteness divided by the amount of money in your purse.

Or the Merrythought mystery, which is the phenomenon of bears managing to increase in quantity without purchases being made.

Dozy

Lest we forget Paddington and Rupert, responsible for the double helix fur struture theory of BFA (BearoxyFurclaic Acid)

Wilf

SleepyHead · 11-05-2007, 11:06

There's also fascinating research being done in Bear-Hugstein tedonsates - basically it involves suspending tedons cooled to temperatures very near to absolutely perishing (about -273.15°B), until all the tedons huddle together for warmth.

The resulting supercooled tedonsate has various unusual characteristics, the most unusual of which is that if you increase the hugnetic field controlling the tedons the tedensate shrinks beyond detection then explodes showering everyone with cuddles.

BrainThrust · 11-05-2007, 11:11

Has anyone any further news on detecting rainbowtons and sleepy dust that tedonsates periodically emit?

Could rainbowtons be what holds the tediverse together?

Wilf

SleepyHead · 11-05-2007, 12:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrainThrust

Has anyone any further news on detecting rainbowtons and sleepy dust that tedonsates periodically emit?

Could rainbowtons be what holds the tediverse together?

Wilf

Well as usual in science there are two schools of thought.

The Hug'em Bearcanicists maintain that fur is the fundamental unit of the beariverse and that it can be both a wave /and/ a bearicle (and that this explains the presence of rainbowtons in tedonsates because rainbowtons really are fur, only the wave kind), but there's a new school of thought (isn't there always) that says it's all really just string.

BrainThrust · 11-05-2007, 13:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleepyHead

Well as usual in science there are two schools of thought.

The Hug'em Bearcanicists maintain that fur is the fundamental unit of the beariverse and that it can be both a wave /and/ a bearicle (and that this explains the presence of rainbowtons in tedonsates because rainbowtons really are fur, only the wave kind), but there's a new school of thought (isn't there always) that says it's all really just string.

I'm quite happy i got the joke there. Have any of you seen the string theory 10 dimensions explained video online? It's amazing.

Wilf

EDIT: here it is http://www.tenthdimension.com/flash2.php

Dozy · 11-05-2007, 13:41

Is it me, or is this thread becoming just slightly silly??

Dozy

PS Don't forget the Pooh Paradox - something lovely and cuddly that has a disgusting name!

Pooch_1 · 11-05-2007, 13:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeP

Indeed!

There's also Pooh's Law that explains the relationship between furryness and the ability of the fur to resist food spills, particularly honey.

Hey now, don't bring my laws into this ...................... oh, sorry you said Pooh's law